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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! 2009
If you are one of the people that thought last year was UH-MAZING, and was sad to see it go as the clock ticked down to midnight on December 31, you are a very special human being. You should also go kick yourself in the shins–2009 was a stinker for most of us, and your joy just makes people mad.
Okay, look. At least this happened:
Goodbye to the Aughts, or "Era of Shame"
But so did this:
Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! 2009
Filed under: 2009, 2010, Barack Obama, Disgrasian of the Weak, Going Rogue, Looking Back, President Barack Obama, Sarah Palin, Tiger Woods
The Racist Michelle Obama Photo And Why You’re Better Off Hangin’ With Internet Pervs
Google’s taken out ads on its own site to explain why, when you do a Google Images search of “Michelle Obama,” one of the first pictures you pull up is a disgustingly racist one depicting FLOTUS as a monkey.
Here’s a screengrab of both the photo and Google’s “Offensive Search Results” ad-response:
Click on the ad, and you get this explanation for the image:
Filed under: Barack Obama, FLOTUS, Google, Google Images, Google Offensive Search Results, Michelle Obama, Michelle Obama Racist Google Images Search Results, Offensive Content, Pervs, Porn, Racist Images, SafeSearch
Ninjas Hate Joe Lieberman
A man dressed as a ninja and waving nunchucks was arrested this week for standing on a street corner in Vernon, CT, and making a ruckus about wanting to beat up Senator Joe Lieberman. When police approached the ninja with tasers, it was reported that the stealth, would-be senator-beater became “polite and cooperative.”
While a) identifying your target openly and b) becoming “polite and cooperative” when the authorities arrive don’t exactly sound like typical ninja behaviors, who hasn’t wanted to get all shinobi-wan-kenobi on Lieberman’s party-flip-flopping assssss?
But hold on there, Lieberman-haters. Because it appears Obama’s putting the old grimacing malcontent, who sits on the Senate Armed Services Committee, in charge of repealing Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. Looks like we need him on our side, at least for the time being.
Although if he effs this up, ninjas…to the rooftops, we say!
[Metro UK: Ninja wants to beat up senator, gets arrested]
[CBS News: Joe Lieberman Could be Taking the Lead on "Don't Ask"]
Filed under: Barack Obama, Don't Ask Don't Tell, Gay Rights, Gays in the Military, Joe Leiberman Is a Douchebag, Ninja Warrior, Ninjas, The U.S. Senate, US Military
AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Colonel Om Prakash, Author Of Anti-”Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” Essay
In the current issue of the Pentagon’s top scholarly journal, Joint Force Quarterly, Air Force colonel Om Prakash has published an article arguing that openly gay troops do not hurt unit cohesion or combat effectiveness, calling the military’s Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy a “costly failure” and asking President Obama to find a way to repeal the ban.
The essay was selected as the winner of this year’s Secretary of Defense essay contest and was reviewed in advance of publication by the office of Adm. Mike Mullen, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, according to the NY Times. Prakash, who works in the office of Defense Secretary Robert Gates, studied the issue while a student at the National War College. The article signals a shift in the thinking of the Pentagon’s top officials and is expected to put pressure on Obama to repeal DADT.
In “The Efficacy of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” Prakash reasons:
…the law as it currently stands does not prohibit homosexuals from serving in the military as long as they keep it secret. This has led to an uncomfortable value disconnect as homosexuals serving, estimated to be over 65,000, must compromise personal integrity. Given the growing gap between social mores and the law, DADT may do damage to the very unit cohesion that it seeks to protect.
Yes sir, Colonel! We couldn’t agree more.
[Joint Force Quarterly, Issue 55]
[Boston Globe: Pentagon airs criticism of 'don't ask']
Filed under: Amazians, Barack Obama, Department of Defense, Discriminatory Policies, Don't Ask Don't Tell, Gays in the Military, Military Men, Pentagon
HONORASIAN ALERT: U.S. Supreme Court Nominee Sonia Sotomayor
After the Sonia Sotomayor nomination to the U.S. Supreme Court was announced yesterday, a few of you wondered if Sotomayor, who is of Puerto Rican descent, wasn’t a little bit Asian. And who could blame you, really? Her eyes are kinda Asian. Her bio–immigrant parents, high school valedictorian, Princeton summa cum laude, Yale Law, bootstraps–is certainly Asian. She has the word “honorable” in her title (and, for that matter, she has a title). But it wasn’t until our pal Jeff Chang sent us this photo of Sotomayor and her twin nephews Conner and Corey (who were apparently born in Korea), that we knew for sure:
I mean, c’mon. The peace sign is a DEAD. GIVEAWAY.
Filed under: Asians and Their Love of Peace Signs, Barack Obama, Honorasians, Nuyoricans, One of Us, Puerto Ricans, Sonia Sotomayor, U.S. Supreme Court Nominee Sonia Sotomayor, Yale Law School
On Race Relasians
Two-thirds of Americans think race relations are good post-election, according to a recent NY Times/CBS News survey. The Times followed up over the weekend with a story that corroborated those findings, interviewing dozens of people in seven states on the subject. As usual, the interviewees on the vast subject of race relations were limited to either black or white, although Asians were brought into the dialogue by this one fellow:
“I didn’t vote for Obama,” said Chris Miller, 46, a boat builder in Johnstown, N.Y., who is white. “But just what I saw during the campaign — you had people, white, black, yellow, green, gray, every race and nationality out there together supporting that man. That right there showed me, hey, things are changing, things are better here. I had never seen anything to that extent.”
Inclusiveness…yes!
But is it too much inclusiveness? What I mean specifically is…who the hell are these green people? (Don’t even get me started on “grays,” I think they’re about as real as centaurs.) What contributions have greens made to this country that suddenly they get to be in discussions about race, too? Our people have been here for over 150 years…can greens say the same? Did they build our railroads and do our laundry? Did they perfect take-out cuisine? Did they set new standards of excellence in science and academia and figure skating? People, you know, accuse Asians of “keeping to themselves,” but have you ever seen a green person do anything positive in your community? For that matter, have you ever even seen a green person?!
Okay, I guess some do exist, but I’ve still never seen them at church or a Little League gameY’all, this is some bullshit. I’m glad Asians are beginning to be included in the dialogue–and I credit Obama for that–but we have waited and worked and protested and agitated to be here. I don’t think you can say the same for green people. If you ask me, they’ve been a little bit apathetic and, frankly, lazy about their place in this society. I know that sounds racist. Maybe it is. In which case, race relations probably aren’t so swell after all. Harumph.
Filed under: Barack Obama, Green People, NY Times Race Relations Survey, Pet Peeves, Race Dialogue, Race Relations, So-Called Inclusiveness, Yellow People
Copycat Jindal
Bobby Jindal is writing a book!
He’s reached an agreement with Regnery Publishing, which has published the works of Newt Gingrich, Chuck Norris, and Ann Coulter, to write a book that mixes, according to Jindal, “lessons I’ve learned throughout my life” and policy issues. The book is slated for release in 2010, a year before Louisiana’s gubernatorial election.
Jindal was going to title the book, Dreams from My Father, until he was told that that title had already been taken. The Louisiana governor is currently trying to decide between Hey! I’m Brown and the Child of Immigrants, Too! and Piyush Jindal Is Also a Funny Name and If You Squint Really Hard at the TV and Cover Your Ears, You Just Might Mistake Me for You-Know-Who (Although Probably Not).
Thanks, Jasmine!
Filed under: Barack Obama, Bobby Jindal, Bobby Jindal Book Deal, Book Titles, Copycats, Dreams from My Father, Louisiana, Regnery Publishing, Wannabes
Kumar Goes to That White Castle on Pennsylvania Avenue
Dude. Duuuuude. I must be high, because I just heard that Kumar is putting his acting career on hold to work for the White House. It was announced today that Kal Penn will be working for the Office of Public Liaison, helping to connect Obama with his “Asian constituents.” That means us, homey!
Barack and Kal having an I Love You, Man-moment at the inaugurationI mean, what actor allows himself to get killed off of FOX’s number one-scripted series to work for the President? And can you think of a better liaisian for us than Kumar? The only way this could be more perfect is if Harold joined him at the White Castle on Pennsylvania Avenue. But dude. Seriously, duuuuuude. This is huge.
Congratu-fuckin’-lations, Kal!
Source
Thanks to everyone who sent this in!
Filed under: Asian-American Voters, Barack Obama, FOX TV, Harold and Kumar, Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, House, Indian-Americans, Kal Penn, Kumar Goes to the White House, Office of Public Liaison
AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Dan Choi
Name: 1st Lieutenant Dan Choi
Occupation: National Guardsman with the 1st Battalion, 69th Infantry, based in Manhattan
Known for: Graduating from West Point with degrees in Arabic Language and Environmental Engineering, serving an extended tour of combat in Baghdad during the Iraq War, and founding Knights Out–an advocacy and education organization of soldiers that strives for the best possible leadership in the military, regardless of sexual orientation. Choi, joined by the other members of Knights out, are coming out publicly to defy the disingenuous policy of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.”
Choi told the Navy Times, “I’m very comfortable with all the repercussions right now. To me, it’s about doing the right thing, not about trying to fit into the process that gets you the rank or prevents you from getting a discharge. If that’s the repercussion, I’m ready to take it. I think it’s more important that I let everybody know that … it is a wrong policy.” (For more regarding KO, See Choi’s interview with Rachel Maddow above)
We almost wish we were cadets so that we could join Knights Out, a surefire way to be associated with a military man boasting actual balls of steel.
[Knights Out: official site]
[Navy Times: West Point Grads Form Gay Support Group]
Thanks, jRu!
Filed under: Amazian Gaysians, Balls of Steel, Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, Coming Out, Dan Choi, Don't Ask Don't Tell, Gay Rights, Military Men, National Guard, Policy That Sucks, Rachel Maddow, West Point
Barack Obama Is President
At Madame Tussaud’s, Shanghai, China, on Tuesday, January 20, 2009JEN: OMGOMGOMGOMG.
DIANA: ZOMGZOMGZOMGZOMG.
JEN: Barack Obama is President!!!
DIANA: Shit’s crazy. I don’t believe it. Pinch me.
Jen pinches Diana on the arm.
DIANA: Owww! That hurt!!
JEN: You said “pinch me.”
DIANA: You’re right. (beat) Dude. Our President is so pretty. I can’t believe we get to stand so close to him.
JEN: Dude. This one isn’t real. He’s made of wax.
DIANA: Shit! I knew it. This is just a dream, isn’t it?
JEN: No, no. What’s happening is real.
DIANA: Okay, then pinch me again.
Jen pinches Diana again.
DIANA: OWOWOWOWOWOWOW!!! You are such a pinchy bitch! But I get it now, this is real.
JEN: And yet it’s also a dream.
DIANA: Yes. Yes it is.
Filed under: Barack Obama, Cuz I'm Proud to Be an American, Dream Come True, firsts, Madame Tussauds, President Barack Obama, Presidential Inauguration, Wax Figures Are Creepy
LiveBlogging from the Presidential Inaugurasian
Hello from Washington, D.C.– our nation’s chilly, beautiful capital!
I’m here this week to celebrate at stuffy panels, earnest documentary screenings, overstuffed, decadent balls, and colossal public events–all in preparation for the moment that Barack Obama says that beautiful Oath of office and closes the door on America’s eight-year Era of Shame.
I’m not the only one excited about the festivities here. Guess who arrived on my flight?
Mr. Bean goes to WashingtonIt feels like it really began yesterday afternoon, but the streets are buzzing with energy. People are simply going bananas, in a good way! They’re breaking out into “Yes We Can!” chants on the street. They’re partying until 5am! They’re watching CNN EVERYWHERE.
I can barely handle the hullabaloo (this may because I am nursing a monster hangover from showing my “energy” until 7am last night), so instead of shouting my joy out on the street, I’m just kicking it old school with my real friends at the hotel:
Just hangin’–DISGRASIAN girls roll large!
Filed under: Barack Obama, Buh-Bye George W. Bush, Era of Shame, Inaugurasian, Liveblogging, Mr. Bean, Oath of Office, Presidential Inauguration, SIgning In, Washington D.C.
AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! General Eric Shinseki, Veteran Affairs Secretary-Nominee
Name: General Eric Shinseki
Hails from: Hawaii
Occupation: Retired four-star general and Secretary of Veterans Affairs nominee
Known for: Becoming the first Asian-American four-star general in the U.S. Army. Getting an MA in English literature(!) after graduating from West Point. Stepping on a landmine while fighting in the Vietnam War and losing part of his foot. Famously clashing with Donald Rumsfeld and Paul Wolfowitz before Congress at the start of the Iraq War, when General Shinseki was Army Chief of Staff, because he believed that a post-war occupation of Iraq would require way more troops than Rumsfeld had estimated. After that, he was iced out of the Defense Department, even though–like so many other Bush administration critics–he turned out to be right.
Rumsfeld & Co. can suck it (like Tina Fey haters) because General Shinseki’s confirmasian hearing for Veteran Affairs Secretary is this Wednesday, and he’s going to sail right through, finally getting the respect he so deserves.
Filed under: Barack Obama, Donald Rumsfeld, General Eric Shinseki, George Bush is a Dick, Hawaiians, Obama's Cabinet, Paul Wolfowitz, Secretary of Veterans' Affairs, Vietnam Vets, We Love Being Right, West Point
