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In The Event Of Our Murder, Immigrant-Hater Yeh Ling-Ling Will Say ‘I Told You So’ At Our Funerals

September 24th, 2010 | 17 comments | Posted by Jen

We’ve received all kinds of hate mail over the years, but we’ve never received hate mail from a past DISGRASIAN of the Weak.

Until now!

It’s too bad it took this long for a DOTW to push back, because the email below from anti-immigration crusader Yeh Ling-Ling is kind of the kitchen sink of hate mail, a terrific read with something for everyone: Accusations of jealousy!  Insults to our intelligence! History lessons!  Asian, African, and Latin American people stereotyped as violent mass murderers!  A portent of our own murders that sounds creepily like a death threat!

And how could I forget: The bringing of shame to our families!

Funny that she should mention our parents, because while my own read the blog, they rarely comment on posts, since they’re typically too busy with their choir practice and their potluck dinners and their taking of cruises to random places in the world. But it just so happens that my father wrote me right after we made Ms. Yeh–who’s made a career out of smearing immigrants as wasteful, violent job-stealers–DISGRASIAN of the Weak.

Below is a copy of his email (only his name and one line have been blacked out for privacy reasons):

Continue reading In The Event Of Our Murder, Immigrant-Hater Yeh Ling-Ling Will Say ‘I Told You So’ At Our Funerals

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The (Tea Party) Revolution Will Not Be Spelled Correctly

April 2nd, 2010 | 12 comments | Posted by Jen

You know those people who automatically assume you don’t speak English or say “Wow! Your English is really good” when it’s obvs your first language or the people who never seem to be able to understand what you’re saying even though you basically speak the Queen’s English and the OED is, like, your favorite book?

I’m pretty sure those are the same dumbasses who wrote these Tea Party protest signs (via Pargon’s flickr under “Teabonics”):

Continue reading The (Tea Party) Revolution Will Not Be Spelled Correctly

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Make Your Brain Hurt: Sarah Palin’s Facebook Page

August 12th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Unlike my more tolerant friends (yes, YOU, G Scott and Norman), I can’t watch Fox News every day or even listen to the raving lunacy of Limbaugh once in awhile, just to be sure I’m on top of every single word that the right wing nutjobs are sputtering. Sometimes I just don’t want to know. I can’t deal. It hurts my soul, all that shouting and all of those incessant jokes.

But the flurryfaloo that resulted from the “death panel” comment former Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin posted on her Facebook last week piqued my interest somehow, and awakened that tiny part of me that intentionally smells sour milk–especially as I kept reading the following excerpt:

“The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama’s “death panel” so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their ‘level of productivity in society,’ whether they are worthy of health care. Such a system is downright evil.”

This statement, by the way, has been deemed by non-partisan fact checker PolitiFact is “pants on fire” false. And if DISGRASIAN had a Shame-O-Meter on our site, we’d definitely have to tag this one as “downright shameless.”

It all got me wondering. What’s a “civilian” like Sarah Palin up to on Facebook, anyway? Does she play a ton of Scrabble? Does she give $1 gifts to friends, like AK-47s and cartoon bibles? Does she start membership groups for “Parents of babies with Down Syndrome who refer to those babies only as ‘babies with Down Syndrome’ as if they aren’t, simply put, babies” or “People for Palin 2012?”

But upon further investigation, I realized, it’s all about Sarah’s Facebook wall:

…and I, uh, I immediately remembered why I don’t listen to these nutjobs. Why bother getting upset about those stupid “Nazi’s” and their feelings about “Obamma” and “Hillry?” Why??

[Facebook - Sarah Palin]


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Imperfect, Indeed

May 20th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Mariah exclusively announced the name of her new album today on Twitter, which is slated to be called Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel.

Frankly, we figured after all of our helpful comments regarding her last record, the new LP would have been dedicated to us, and maybe even called DISGRASIAN is the Bestest Blog Ever–but no dice. WTF!?!?

Overall, though, we’re just glad she didn’t follow up E=MC² with a rekkid called U Hotter Than Quantum Theory, Lamb. Or Memoirs of a Hot Geisha. “Glad,” by the way.

Additional note: Think we’re wrong to judge Ms. Carey on her brains? Try “reading” her tweets (if your brain starts to hurt, stop) and we’re sure you’ll feel differently.

[Mariah Carey on Twitter]


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Monday Night Football Shame

September 23rd, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Yes, the signs are glittery. But they really do miss the point, don’t they?

Thanks, Maris!

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Fashion’s Newest Inspirasian

August 11th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen
Bai Ling’s Red Carpet Band-Aids

Who knew that Bai Ling was, as Michael Kors would say in that gaysal (gay + nasal) voice of his…”high fashion”? Last week, the NY Times published a story about Band-Aids being the latest fashion craze and even cited Bai Ling as an early adopter.

What’s next? Nipple-slipples as the hottest red carpet accessory? Oh, wait…never mind.

Speaking of Bai and fashion accessories, our favorite alienasian boldly went where every man has gone before and attempted to explain why white dudes love Asian chicks on her blog last week:

Dinner was nice last night, meet with a good director and his chinese lovely wife and his Italian friend, its a trend that westen guys find Asian girl to be their girl friend and wife, they all attracted to the east, which I don’t belame them, we have the pointry the romance and the beauty and the mystery of sex……

…but not, apparently, the good spelling.

Thanks, Ken!

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The Not-So-Suite Life

July 30th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Brenda Song, the 20-year old star of Disney’s The Suite Life of Zack & Cody, is currently trying to sue an L.A. woman for $100k in damages, for allegedly using her head shot in an escort service classified ad (see above).

The accused, Vanessa Sena, apparently pulled Song’s photo from the web and ran the ad with a fake name, “Layla,” along with the tagline: “Hawaiin [sic] beauty. Come get lei’d.”

I have just one thing to say to Sena. Brenda is not HAWAIIN! SHE IS MOST CERTAINLY NOT HAWAIIN! She is Chinese/Thai, as a matter of fact–not HAWAIIN. Do we all look alike to you???


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Miss Spelling

June 30th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

The Miss Universe pageant is currently underway in Vietnam and pageant organizers have already demonstrated that they can’t spell “Philippines.” Miss Philippines Jennifer Barrientos’ sash read “Miss Phillippines” for three days before the mistake was corrected. I only learned about this because I happen to have a Google Alert for “Phillipines.” That’s right, with two L’s. Because I, um…am on a mission to rid the world of its ignorance when it comes to spelling the name of this Southeast Asian island-nation. Yes, that’s it! And to do that, I have to be hypervigillant. I have to scour the web for Phillippineses. I have to sleep with one eye open just so that I can be on the lookout at ALL TIMES for those hatefull two L’s. The devills who commit this crime over and over must be stopped, and I, uh…

…I maybe can’t spell “Philippines” either.

The Miss Universe pageant airs July 13 on NBC.


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Claudia Kishi, Fashionistasian

April 2nd, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

We were recently turned on to What Claudia Wore, a paean to the smart, sartorial stylings of fictional character Claudia Kishi, from the children’s book series The Baby-Sitters Club. Wikipedia describes the Japanese-American teen as someone who comes from a “scholarly, conservative family” (sounds about right) and is “particularly bad at spelling” (hmmm…). WCW’s author Alex points out time after time how very “now” Claud’s fashion choices are–from leggings to vests to rakish hats to oversized tops–and we couldn’t agree more:

PHANTOM CALLER: (breathy) What are you wearing?

CLAUDIA: I’m wearing an oversized chambray button-down, a Navajo-striped vest, and a bitchin’ side pony. I’m also armed with pepper-spray, asshole.

CLAUDIA: Black tights and knee-high boots for spring? Sure. Mochi ice cream, anyone, before we get this blowjob party started?

NEW GIRL: Claudia, please, tell me what you think of my outfit.

CLAUDIA: Keep the Timberlands. Burn everything else.

MEAN JANINE: What are you doing with your life, Claudia? All you think about is clothes, clothes, clothes. What about your grades? How are you going to get into an Ivy League school when you’ve failed the seventh grade? Don’t you want to be successful like me?

CLAUDIA: Dude. Four-eyes. Chillax. Don’t you know how much that bob haircut ages you? You look like Mom after she squeezed us out, stopped having sex with Dad, and started hording the Rocky Road ice cream all to herself. Your outfit’s halfway to Sexy Secretary, but you might consider throwing on a big Alaia corset belt if you wanna get past second base. (beat) Can I borrow that high-waisted skirt when you’re done with it?


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AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Christine Nguyen

February 4th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Name: Christine Nguyen

Occupation: Artist

Known for: fantastical large-scale art installations that combine multiple media (photography, illustration, etc.) and processes. Her new solo exhibition opened last week at LA’s Michael Kohn Gallery and runs until March 1.

If you can handle the retardo tingles of seeing “Nguyen” misspelled every other use (Diana can’t), check out Art Slant’s feature of the exhibit here.


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More like a Motel 6 in Duluth

November 2nd, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

It’s a sad fact: Rock is dead. Save for the few awesome bands like Black Kids or Exit Clov or Blonde Redhead that we feature in our weekly Rock of Asian, the entire visible rock scene is totally adrift. Where are the new Fugazis and Nirvanas, the second comings of My Bloody Valentine, the young Stephen Malkmus, the teenage version of The Pixies? Where are they? Why is there no new Who or Stones? Why? Why? Why?

Instead, what my poor ears find themselves wading through on iTunes Tuesday is a bunch of bullshit sad hack post-post-emo/post-post-glam bands that can’t seem to tell a guitar pick from an eyeliner stick.

This douchebag? Are you kidding me?

These tools? Please just kill me (or them).

It’s gross. It’s embarrassing. It’s saddening. It’s maddening!

I’m angry, can you tell?? But that’s my beef. I’m apparently an old fart. I’ve come to terms with the fact that maybe it’s my problem, that the fact that my ears and eyes are offended by what most of the kids are listening to these days is a fault of my own hangups. I’ll be accountable for that, totally. It has nothing to do with me. Hell, it has nothing to do with us.

But dude, when it comes to my attention that Billboard (an organization populated by arguably sensible adults like you and me) has lauded the European MTV Music Awards performance of another stupid poser rock band called TOKIO HOTEL, I start to feel inadvertantly involved. Tokio? That sounds like Tokyo! And Tokyo is in Japan! And Japan is in Asia! And… well, you get the point.

I checked it out, and Tokio Hotel’s VMA performance included mid-stage torrential downpour over the stage. Incredible. They have not only dishonored Jennifer Beals’ iconic performance in Flashdance, but the fashion stylings of The Cult –all in the course of a singular song:

I am taking this very, very personally. Tokio Hotel, indeed. LEAVE US THE HELL OUT OF THIS.


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Study More

July 31st, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Audio Science’s mother Shannyn Sossamon never ceases to amaze me with her ability to know and say nothing about absolutely anything. This was confirmed, once again, by the wandering, pointless interview she gave at Comic-Con to promote her new movie, a remake of Japanese Horror Film Chakushin Ari called One Missed Call.

Can somebody please explain to Shannyn that Asian people are smart? And that they spell “Shannon” correctly? Surely there is enough Golden blood running through her brain to do at least that.


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