DISGRASIAN™

DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Mark Williams, The Tea Party Express’ Non-Racist Racist

Having read and re-read and re-read and re-read the “parody letter” that Tea Party Express talking head Mark Williams wrote to Abe Lincoln in the voice of NAACP President Ben Jealous, speaking for “The Coloreds,” I’ve got to say:

I DON’T GET IT.

In an effort to defend the Tea Party’s position that it isn’t racist, Williams cleverly decided this week to turn the tables on an, uh, obvious target: the NAACP. He called them out for being “racist” (Naturally!) due to the fact that the 99-year-old organization’s name still includes the word “colored.”

In case you aren’t familiar with the NAACP, I’ve included their mission and vision statements below:

We at DISGRASIAN hate to lend any more attention to the Tea Party–they’re a fringe Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Mark Williams, The Tea Party Express’ Non-Racist Racist

Filed under: Abraham Lincoln, Bad Jokes, Ben Jealous, Mark Williams, Missing the Point, NAACP, NAACP President Ben Jealous, Parody Letter, Racist Jokes, Really Stupid Americans, Talking Heads, Tea Party, Unfunny People, Unfunny Stuff, Why Does The Tea Party Get So Much Press?

Sure, Two Wrongs Don’t Make Right-Wing…

The 2010 Conservative Political Action Conference, affectionally known as CPAC, is under way as we speak in our nation’s capital.

Conservationists. No wait, Conservatives.

In today’s update on the conference goings-on, HuffPo pulled this choice quote from Jason Mattera of the Young America’s Foundation:

“Our notion of freedom doesn’t consist of snorting cocaine, which distinguishes us from Barack Obama.”

Oh ho ho ho ho! ZING!

Can’t help but wonder, though: does the conservative notion of freedom include driving drunk, getting arrested, and  gobbling pharmaceutical heroin? Just wondering.

(Cock-sure commenters, we know that everybody’s parsing words. But this shit is seriously SO SILLY.)

[HuffPo: CPAC 2010 Update]

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Filed under: Alcoholics, Arrests, Bad Jokes, Cocaine, Coke, Conservatards, Conservative Pieces of Shit, Conservative Political Action Conference, Conservatives, CPAC, CPAC 2010, Drunks, George W. Bush Dick Cheney and Rush Limbaugh Are All Addicts, Huffington Post, Jason Mattera, Opiates, Oxycontin, Rehab, Rush Limbaugh Addiction, Rush Limbaugh Is A Junkie, Young America's Foundation

We Get It Already, Blasians Can’t Drive Escalades

As Gawker aptly pointed out yesterday, nearly every hack comedian in America managed a take on this setup: “Blasian Tiger Woods crashes his Escalade.”

There are many versions, but the joke goes something like this:

Click here for the sampler flight of punchlines.

Surprisingly, though, not one comedian seemed to find a way to make the “joke” funny. ZzZZZzzZzzZZZzZzzzzzZzzzz.

[via Gawker]

Thanks, Jasmine and Colin!

Filed under: Asian Drivers, Bad Driving, Bad Jokes, Blasians, Buck Teef, Cadillac, Escalade, George Lopez Is Criminally Unfunny, Jo Koy, Lame, Stereotypes, Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods Crash, Tiger Woods Runs Car Into Fire Hydrant, Wanda Sykes, ZZzzzZzZzZZzzzz

Switching Geres

Richard Gere debuts his new film, Hachiko: A Dog’s Story, in Japan:

“We’re not exactly sure where the little furball came from
…but boy does it look TIRED.”

[photo via Splash]

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Filed under: Bad Jokes, Cute Dogs, Japan, Not a Gerbil, Premieres, Richard Gere, Scurrilous Rumors

Sari-Torial Choices

Suri’s not wearing a… sari, is she??

Sari, everybody, I can already tell this is going to be one of those “bad joke” days.

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Filed under: Bad Jokes, Clothes Horses, Cute Things, I Think That's A Sari, Little Saris, Sartorial Choices, Sorry Saris, Suri Cruise

Go Blue

To the Vietnamese-American readers that I may have hated on too quickly this week, because of their undying, ungodly, unexplainable commitment to the support of Sen. McCain:

Hey. I’m sorry for calling you “gooks.” That was really rude, huh? Here’s the thing–I say–I was joking with a veteran–I hate to even go into this. I was joking with an old veteran friend, who joked with me, about Vietnam…. well anyway. I’m not really sorry.

So, anyhoozle, I think there’s a way for you fucking head-up-your-ass, middle-class-fearing, Vietnamese McCain supporters to redeem yourselves in my judgmental eyes us to bridge the gap between us and allow us to be straight with each other again.

The Obama campaign is in dire need of Vietnamese-speaking volunteers to spread the good word and explain what’s what on the issues (think of it as missionary work) to the large Viet community there. The staff can train you, explain the issues, and help you help us. HELP US. Get on your moped and skedaddle over to Virginia. IF YOU WANT US TO BE COOL AGAIN, that is, then HELP US ALL.

Ma peeps!!!

xoxo
Diana

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Filed under: Bad Jokes, Barack Obama, Being Cool, Gooks, Help Us, John McCain, Redemption, Relax--Just Do It, Speaking Vietnamese, Vietnamese Pride, Volunteer Work