DISGRASIAN™

An Open Letter From DISGRASIAN To Shawne Merriman

Hello Shawn,

Not a merry man

Okay, we don’t know you. We’re not your big sisters. But if we were your big sisters–whoo boy, this “conversation” would be the 9,473,665th epic, painful, terrifying, soul-sucking Hardass Asian Sister lecture of the month, not just one kindly open letter on a blog.

We read today that you are finally suing your former fiancée, Tila Tequila–your part of the fallout for a boom-and-bust engagement that erupted in alleged violence and went down in internet flames. To be clear, we don’t and likely will never know what went down between the two of you that ugly night. Continue reading An Open Letter From DISGRASIAN To Shawne Merriman

Filed under: Athletes, Bad Choices, Batshit Women, Crazians, Defamasian, Domestic Violence, fiancees, Gossip, Hardass Asian Siblings, Innocence, Intentional Interference With Contract, Lawsuits, Legal Double Standard, Lies, Linebackers, People To Avoid, Scandals, Shawne Merriman, Tiger Woods, Tila Tequila, Trademark Infringement, Unfair Competition

Gotta Get This Off of My Chest

Freddie Mercury is my hero for many reasons, but particularly one: the man had CHARISMA.

Jen will attest to the fact that I do not tolerate those without charisma well. I’m unusally harsh on bad party guests, drippy dinner attendees, fidgety young girls, and guys who have nothing to say about nothing. Charisma isn’t something you’re born with–it’s something you develop. Therefore, I believe that exhibiting or not exhibiting said charisma is indeed a choice. A lack of charisma, therefore, reflects a complete neglect for what other people are supposed to glean from your presence. And if you don’t choose to even be interesting to perceive, you totally suck in my book. Okay, you’re worthless.

Anyway, back to Mercury, a man who, by all standards, was once the living embodiment of charisma. Freddie Mercury was the opposite of worthless, ya hear? He might have blown a few rails off of some backstage drips back in the good ol’ days, but he certainly didn’t respect to those people, or talk and cuddle with them. He definitely wouldn’t have written “You’re My Best Friend” about them.

My friends, I must declare here that Freddie Mercury is sacred in my book. You can sing along with him. You can love him. You can impersonate him, but only by really digging deep to find your serious, true, inner Mercury.

HOWEVER,
YOU
MUST
NOT
MIMIC
WITH
RIDICULE.

FREDDIE
IS
NO
FUCKING
JOKE.

I’m talking to this Japanese tool, who knocks off a few laughs by taking on late-life Mercury’s persona:

…who, will have his real chest hair ripped out of him, should he be so unlucky as to ever bump into me on the streets of Tokyo.

Source
Thanks, jRu!

Filed under: Bad Choices, Bad Singing, Boring People, Charisma, Drips, Freddie Mercury, Impersonasians, No Fucking Joke, Sacred Things, Weird Japanese Behavior

Pride and Prejudice

Last night, the people (or at least, 64 million of us) spoke–and sent the world a message: America is ready for change. We are ready for progress. Shoot, we’re even ready for a new-and-improved national rhetoric. We want to be hopers, dreamers, teammates, idealists, rational thinkers, good-doers, try-harders, beacons-of-light, wealth-spreaders, planet-huggers, lovers, achievers, Americans. We want this country to reflect opportunity, equality, multiple perspectives, varied backgrounds, different choices, and forward thinking. We want to salute a “President Barack Obama.” Wow. What a mouthful.

Especially when you consider that in that same confusing breath, millions of Californians expressed the desire to discriminate against citizens, deny them fundamental rights, and regress to the mindset that unfair, unequal treatment of gays (at least we’re not being racist!) is perfectly acceptable. At last count (and we should still keep the faith, because roughly three million votes still need to be counted), the decision to pass Proposition 8 in California was leading at 52%, and if the numbers stick, gay marriage will be banned in the state–meanwhile, leaving the validity of legal unions performed over the last six months up to the courts.

So this is what it’s like to feel proud to be an American again. And at the very same time, I am supremely filled with shame as a Californian. If we’re going to be part of the Obama-era of a better mankind, this state sure as hell needs to get its “kind”ness shit together.

Source Source Source

Filed under: Bad Choices, California We Have A Problem, Discrimination Laws, Good Day/Bad Day, President Barack Obama, Pride, Proposition 8, Regressing, Same-Sex Marriage, Shame