You are currently browsing posts tagged with Bad “Bits”

DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Heath Hyche, ‘Last Comic Standing’ Loser

July 11th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

I had a totally crazy dream last night, and I think I might actually have come up with a brilliant concept.

How’s this for a movie idea?

It’s WWII.

But we’re up in the air. We’re in a fighter plane.

Missiles are flying. Smoke is everywhere! Fuselage damage! Madness! Intensity! War!

Where’s our hero… the handsome American pilot? (And who can we get to play him? Perhaps just a hack comedian as a stand-in for now.)

Okay, take out “handsome,” keep “American.” But somebody’s got their target set on the American. A JAP! A JAP in another fighter plane is trying to take our guy down! (But who can we get to play the Jap on such short notice? Let’s just use the same hack comedian.)

Ooh! There he is, our trusty Chinaman, oops, we mean Jap! Did I mention that this is a comedy? Hee hee! He have srits for eyes! He airprane pirate! Hoo hoo hoo! GONG!

Oh wait. Shoot. Shoot. I think I got confused. I didn’t dream this up at all. Some jerkoff from Birmingham, Alabama (which is an actual city with an actual university, and not an all an excuse for such ignorance) shared this “movie” bit with the mediocre audience of Last Comic Standing just this week.

Needless to say, the judges were not amused, nor impressed.

They were so unimpressed, in fact, that they gave Hyche a rather hefty public shaming (stating an allergy to ethnic stereotypes and a desire to commit hara-kiri if they had to listen to an extended performance) before booting him off the show. Heck, they pretty much did our job for us!

But did they turn around and shame all of the crowd members who think yerrowface is still veddy veddy funny? GONG! They should have.

See Hyche’s performance in the full episode (click on #607) here.

Source Source Source
Thanks, Slanty and Angry!

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I’m One of You!

August 9th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

The easiest way to fit in when you’re an insecure Asian guy:

…is to perfect a shtick of self-deprecating humor that your white friends can laugh along to! “Hey man, Vietnamese accents are funny! HEE HEE HEE! It’s FUNNY to make fun of ASIAN PEOPLE. LAUGH ALONG! I’M TOTALLY LAUGHING! HA HA HA [crying inside]! HA! HA!”

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Hating DISGRASIANs Is Great; Hating Cats Is Mean

July 25th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

I love a new Godzilla adventure as much as anybody, even if the auteur doesn’t own a complete costume.

But there’s really no need to make fluffy cats the victims of hate crimes. That shit is ugly.

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July 16th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Here’s the thing: sometimes being racist is funny!

I can’t think of a good example off the top of my head, but I do believe that being at least semi-attractive with a brain larger than a peanut is required to pull it off.

Unfortunately for YouTube’s man-faced, self-appointed advice columnist, neither of those qualities seem to be present. Shame!

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Maybe We Can Punch Some Funny Into Her

May 1st, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Yeah, it’s annoying.

I waited and waited and waited for the punch line and then realized that this “Alex Thomopoulos” lady is just a bad aspiring sketch actress with a terrible knack for accents and a name begging for a junior high bully. And arguably, a ricist. Poor thing.

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Josh Groban? Try Josh Grope Men.

April 5th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

See my title? Not too funny.

See this video? Not funny either.

Groban, you aren’t cool enough to do spoofs. You’re a boring baritone. You’re a generic twenty something. Moreover, you’re a douche. Look at your hair. That’s the hair of a douche. Look at your jacket. Douche!

Anyway, why are you all up in the Pandas’ grill, yo? Ling Ling doesn’t think you’re hilarious, and neither do I.

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