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Gimme An F! Gimme An I! Gimme An E! Gimme An R! Gimme A C…

June 29th, 2011 | 5 comments | Posted by Diana


As many of you know, I was a cheerleader in high school, and naturally have a soft spot for all things cheerleading. It’s dance, performance and sport in one package, guys. Can’t hate!

But I’ve always been pretty meh when it comes to male cheerleaders. No, I don’t think they’re weenies–quite the opposite. I fully appreciate how instrumental they are in taking cheer stunting and performance to the next level–their strength and athleticism as bases and tumblers totally change the whole game.

But that’s also my issue with cheer dudes. Typically male cheerleaders are extra tough and robot-stiff on the dance floor/field/court/stage… perhaps to prove that, although they do hold megaphones and point a perky “number one” in the air, they’re still swinging big dicks or whatever. They never use pom poms, which are quite possibly my FAVORITE thing cheer has to offer (I challenge you to think of anything happier than a silvery, sassy pom pom!). They wear completely different outfits from their female counterparts, usually primary-hued polyester pants (which is respectable and kind of unavoidable but also violates the uniformity of a squad’s overall look, a result that irks me on an endemic level. I mean, cheer pants?! Whatever!) that suck.

Male cheerleaders can make the argument that they are cheerleaders solely to put their strength and athleticism to work, while getting to shove their hands into the shadowy crevices of the world’s most perfect thighs. But few are on cheer squads to dance and cheer for cheer‘s sake. Not all, but most. And by golly, if somebody’s leading me to cheer, I want it to be for CHEER’S SAKE!

Anyway. The context of my opinion on male cheerleaders is only the tip of the iceberg Continue reading Gimme An F! Gimme An I! Gimme An E! Gimme An R! Gimme A C…

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BABEWATCH: Polyester Grandpa

April 5th, 2011 | 1 comment | Posted by Diana

When Intern Jasmine sent us a link to the gent that fashion blogger Mister Mort refers to only as “The Man In The Polyester Suits,” I immediately knew he was this week’s Babewatch babe. For one, I have a weakness for polyester suits, and have owned many in my life (none of which have surfaced in the years that I’ve known Jen, because I’ve secretly believed she would disapprove of my love for synthetic fabrics)–they’re nearly impossible to destroy, always maintain a sharp pleat, are perfect for soul dancing, and always remind me of my grandpa.

But come on, it’s easy to see this grandpa’s multitude of babe-worthy qualities: attention to style and detail, gleeful eyes, ageless skin, lean build, cleanliness, neatness, willingness to play with color, an overall playful vibe and–the best looking thing of all–a good book. After all, a good book in hand is a good look on a man!

Gloves, hat, smile--AMAZIAN!

Continue reading BABEWATCH: Polyester Grandpa

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ROCK OF ASIAN: Onra

February 23rd, 2011 | 5 comments | Posted by Diana

Reasons why French beatmaker Onra is my obsession:

  • SPEX (obvs)
  • Hot-ass variety beats
  • Lickable likeable French accent
  • Chinoiseries (rel. 2007), the widely-lauded, smooth-souled, crackly, interpretation of 30 old Chinese and Vietnamese vinyl albums he lugged home to Paris from a trip to Vietnam
  • Dead sexy, head to toe. Even his fingers are sexy. I want to [blank] them.
  • Latest full-length: Long Distance (rel. 2010), which can best be described fun, funky, funky, funky, flirty, fresh
  • Forthcoming Chinoiseries Pt. 2
  • Occasional beard
  • merveilleuse vie paresseuse
  • Given name: Arnaud (say it aloud, reverse it; you’ve got his stage name)
  • Half-Vietnamese, half-French, he is the human equivalent of my two favorite comestibles: cà phê sữa đá and bánh mì
  • Love of cigarettes, basketball, vinyl rekkids, computers, joints
  • Inclination and ability to sample and build albums with respect to the source material’s societal context, while avoiding the pitfalls of politicizing his tuneage. Always, the music remains deeply, easily individual. Howdoyoosay, “Onra tracks are like a travel diary, joining the artist in a lighthearted pursuit for cultural and personal identity?”

[MySpace: Onra]

Source
Thanks, Alex!

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BABEWATCH: Sutan Amrull/Raja

January 25th, 2011 | 2 comments | Posted by Diana

Though AMAZIAN castmate Manila Luzon will clearly be his fiercest, pretty-as-a-picture competitor, we can’t help but think that Raja–the frontrunner after last night’s Season 3 premiere of RuPaul’s Drag Race– has the Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent to take home the big queen prize. Raja’s got legs that never seem to end. Raja owns a catwalk like Rupert Murdoch owns people. Raja is ROWR!

And like the iconic Ru before her, Raja–otherwise known as Sutan Amrull–looks just as beautiful (if not more) as a man:

Continue reading BABEWATCH: Sutan Amrull/Raja

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ROCK OF ASIAN: KoreAm’s Krazy K-Pop Music Video Battle [Now With Extended Deadline!]

October 27th, 2010 | 2 comments | Posted by Diana

Since you’ve got your cameras and editing systems out, why not try to win some more kool shit? We learned via Angry Asian Man that our kickass friends at KoreAm have extended the deadline for their Krazy K-Pop Music Video Battle to November 10!

Which means: if you can shoot a killer response to this video (and by the way, we wanna see you muthafuckin’ DANCIN’):





…you can win a trip to NY. And get mad props. And earn our mad respeck.

Contest rules are all here. Step up, K-poppers!

[via Angry Asian Man]
[KoreAm: Krazy K-pop! - A Music Video Battle]

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The World Embraces Liu Wei, Armless Piano Player

October 11th, 2010 | 3 comments | Posted by Diana

Perhaps, like me, you’ve already watched video of China’s Got Talent contestant Liu Wei, thanks to the magic of the Internet. Liu is a 23-year old musical prodigy who was electrocuted during a game of hide-and-seek at age 10, costing him his arms but not his passion for piano–he now plays miraculously with his toes.

Maybe, like me, you shared the video with everyone you knew, because the combo of Richard Clayderman tuneage and this adorable, spirited kid’s incredible story were simply too much to keep to yourself. And then of course you watched it with your parents; together you cried, commented, and mentally hugged (to actually hug might’ve been too awkward). And even though they thanked you for sharing the video with them, you could tell they were also wondering why, given your many lessons and ten fingers, you never made anything of your piano playing.

Continue reading The World Embraces Liu Wei, Armless Piano Player

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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Slash

July 22nd, 2010 | 5 comments | Posted by Diana

Happy birthday to His Awesomeness, Slash, an esteemed honorasian who turns 45 tomorrow. Like many mythical creatures, Slash is practically ageless, timeless, and as mysteriously cool as when he first started rocking faces off at Madame Wong’s in ’84.

He will always be an inspirasian to us! We hope those hot fingers get a rest from axe-rocking, just for one day, so that Slash can celebrate the big 4-5 properly–with both fists wrapped around vodka bottles.

[Here Today... Gone To Hell! The History Of GN'R]

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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Arianna Huffington

July 15th, 2010 | 3 comments | Posted by Diana

Happy birthday today to honorasian Arianna Huffington, our boss at HuffPo and one of the most influential women in media!

A few things we love about Arianna:

* She smells so good. She has the aroma of cleanliness and cashmere and a womanly, floral perfume not muddled by overbearing yucky stuff, like musk.

* She publishes DISGRASIAN on HuffPo!

* We love lady writers. And bloggers.

* She has turned self-reinvention into an art form.

* She works hard for the money.

* She publishes DISGRASIAN on HuffPo!

* She throws a great dinner party.

* OH, and that yummy accent. We love it, we love it!

* She publishes DISGRASIAN on HuffPo!

[Huffington Post]

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Foulmouth Strikes Again

June 11th, 2010 | 3 comments | Posted by Diana

Angry Asian Man posted this fabulous instructional video, which is part of a series that aids grownup Korean speakers in pronouncing the more, er,  important words of the English language: the bad ones!





Nothing warms my heart more than hearing a Hardass Asian Grownup drop an f-bomb or call someone “you fucking bitch”–or reach my father’s apex of frustration: “Oh, shit” (it only happens when he makes an anomolous mistake, like losing his keys).

And so my only hope is that more Koreans will immerse themselves into this line of study. And that such tutorials will soon be created for ma peeps the Vietnamese, Jen’s peeps the Chinese, and all of y’alls peeps as well!

I also see this tutorial as a bit of a backdoor guide to reading DISGRASIAN, properly prepping little old ladies using umbrellas as parasols and friends from our parents’ singing groups to join us in a dialogue about fucking burritos and declaring the world’s biggest asshole–and, if we’re lucky, helping us cut a few fuckers’ dicks off. That’s the fucking shit!

It’s a generasian bridge, so to speak. And a damn fine one at that.

[via Angry Asian Man]
[Anderson English for Korea]

Source
Thanks, Chris!

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Float On

April 30th, 2010 | 6 comments | Posted by Diana

My family fled war-torn Vietnam in June of 1975 by secretly hopping aboard a freight ship meant to carry textiles. Someone tipped my mom’s brother off to the opportunity and he immediately rounded up the rest of the relatives. They hastily collected their meager belongings, then hustled to the dock. My family was joined by about 200 other people on the shore. The ship docked and everyone quietly boarded the ship, tucking themselves into the dark nooks, while dozens of jumbo bins were loaded onto the deck. The ship left shore once again, and after a number of miles some of the bins began to move, as 150 more people emerged from underneath. They all went to America.

Every time my mom and I talk about this particularly fascinating bit of their story, we clash over one point.

I say, “So that’s how you came here!”

She says, “Yes, we came on a boat.”

I say, “Right. So you were boat people that came–”

She cuts me off and shrieks, “WE ARE NOT BOAT PEOPLE!”

I say, “Didn’t we just talk about the boat you came on?”

She says, “It was a freight ship!”

I say, “Isn’t a ship a large boat?

Then she stops talking to me. Moms are so weird.

Today, I saw photos of those womb-rumbling cutie patooties Maddox and Pax Jolie-Pitt cruising coolly around the canals in a sweet speedboat:




…and all I could think was, “Mom! Boat people are so AWESOME!”

[via Popsugar]

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Fine, iWant It

April 15th, 2010 | 5 comments | Posted by Diana

Dear Technology God,

I’ve been fighting the iPad.

I said I didn’t need it. I said it wasn’t necessary. I said it was just an $800 splurge for Apple geeks to jerk off to. I said it was a poor-sighted man’s iPhone. Even that hilarious Modern Family episode couldn’t sway me.

I almost convinced myself, too. I think I believed me when I said those things.

But then I saw Iggy the cat playing with a new iPad.





He’s so cute! And he LOVES the iPad! If Iggy gets one, I want one. Please gimme!

Please!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Amen,
Diana

[Apple Store: iPad (US)]

Thanks, Tina!

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AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Apolo Anton “What Seven Medals?” Ohno

February 22nd, 2010 | 2 comments | Posted by Diana


Name:

Age: 27

Hails from: Seattle, WA

Occupation: Olympic short-track speed skater

Known for: Championship bling. After winning his seventh Olympic medal on Saturday night, becoming the most decorated American Winter Olympic athlete of all time. Proving that the time-tested technique of Hardass Asian Parenting, via single father Yuki, can pay off in spades. Showcasing excellent hip control. Somehow being extremely hot despite a chronic case of chin pubes.

Apolo’s name was derived from the Greek words “Ap,” (“steer away from”) and “lo,” Continue reading AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Apolo Anton “What Seven Medals?” Ohno

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