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We Knew It: South Koreans Are Pro Ragers

February 17th, 2011 | 10 comments | Posted by Diana

The Economist has released a color-coded map charting the findings of a new report (based on data collected from 2003-2005) issued this week by the World Health Organization, which compares the relative alcohol consumption of people over the age of 15 across the globe. The biggest boozers (averaging more than 12.5 liters of pure alcohol, per person, during the study period) are denoted in red. (Click here to see the complete profile of each country):





As you can see, Europeans really take the rum cake. According to this booze map, those Euros are literally BLEEDING ALCOHOL. Australia and Argentina kinda look like awfully great places to have some good ol’ drunk sex. North Americans make a fairly decent showing with just a blush of pink drink. And the Middle East is, unsurprisingly, clean as a whistle. Then there’s Asia…

Hey, wait a minute, what’s that little bright-red blemish on the edge of Asia?

Why, it’s THE REPUBLIC OF KOREA!

Dude. YES. We knew those mofos could party!!!!! Let us all raise a Hite to them!





[Ed. note--Right now, 48 million South Koreans are shaking their heads and muttering, "novices."]

[via The Atlantic]
[The Economist: Daily Chart - Global Alcohol Consumption - Drinking Habits]
[WHO: Global Status Report On Alcohol And Health 2011]

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Thanks, David!

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ROCK OF ASIAN: Burly-esque

February 16th, 2011 | 1 comment | Posted by Diana

Okay, who is this Amazian Jr.–a squooshy-cheeked boy lip syncing for his life to Christina Aguilera’s Burlesque track, “Express”–and how can Jen and I recruit him as our mascot?





He may not know all the words to the song. He may not have legs long enough to drape over the top of a chair back. And I can’t say that, watching him go, I didn’t worry that his cute little sequined bum was about to land hard on the floor during most of this routine.

But let us keep our criticisms to ourselves, fellow Hardass Asians! Baby is FIERCE. And he owns a DRESS WITH BOSOM HANDPRINTS on it. A DRESS WITH BOSOM HANDPRINTS. This young buck has more nerve than I ever had at his age–likely  more then I ever will have at any age.

And dear, sweet heaven, he can whip his neck like nobody’s business.

[via Buzzfeed]

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Mummy Looks Purty

May 14th, 2010 | 4 comments | Posted by Diana

Fatty of Figgy And Fatty posted a news story about a 500-year-old Korean mummy that was recently unearthed with her purse buried beside her (Y’hear that, people? Proof right there that you will never get between a Korean girl and her very expensive bag).

The Daily Mail featured a photo:

And correct me if I’m wrong, but homegirl still looks DAMN good. We really never age, do we?

[via Figgy and Fatty]
[Daily Mail: Thoroughly modern Mummy: 500-year-old remains of Korean woman discovered with her handbag]

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Pretty Girrrls Make Boxes

March 9th, 2010 | 4 comments | Posted by Diana

During last night’s episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race, Ru announced one of my favorite challenges evvvaaarrr: each queen making their box pretty!

Nobody likes a boring box!

It was a PRETTY BOX exxxtravaganza, where Ru kept asking about the BOXES and cooing over the BOXES and delighting over scented BOXES and talking about how important a queen’s BOX is! After all, what’s more important than a drag queen’s box, you tell me? Nothin’!

GENIUS.

During the challenge, I was not surprised to see “Tyra” gettin’ bitchy with all of the other ladies, and complaining that everyone was copying her (she does so every time).

See the quickfire challenge at 3:45 of the video below:

Continue reading Pretty Girrrls Make Boxes

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AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Liu “The Invisible Man” Bolin

March 8th, 2010 | 2 comments | Posted by Diana

"Individual rights often disappear amid the roaring sound of the government's will."

Name: Liu Bolin

Age: 38

Hails from: Beijing, China

Occupation: Visual Artist

Known for: Appearing to disappear. China Daily just did a feature on Liu, a Chinese performance artist who camouflages himself into everyday surroundings for photographs using an awe-inspiring combination of paint and patience. Liu has created over 80 “invisible” works since 2006 and has been featured in museums across Europe and the US–one of the few modern Chinese artists to be recognized by the worldwide art market.

Continue reading AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Liu “The Invisible Man” Bolin

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We’d Rather Punch Ourselves In The Neck Than Listen To A Jason Mraz Tune, BUT…

December 11th, 2009 | 4 comments | Posted by Diana

…add a ukulele and a munchkin. We melt. We simply melt.

And we forget all about Mraz’s stupid hats and all of that “Mr. A to Z” garbage.




Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. OH!!!!! [wombs a-rumble]

[via The Daily What]
Thanks, Jasamine!

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ROCK OF ASIAN: Paul Dateh

June 17th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


I took piano lessons for ten years, and violin for eight. My most memorable instrument teacher was a perpetually drunk Singaporean woman whose hair smelled like a fascinating combination of musk and scalp. She would shout, “Practice more! Practice MORE!” while banging her ring-adorned right hand on the side of my family’s beautiful grand piano, accentuating my hiccuping sonatas with her shrill voice. She spent downtime between my clunky scales by walking around my living room and peering too long at our framed family photos.

Every time I would open my front door and see her not-quite-symmetrical bob haircut and crazy eyes, I would think to myself, There is no way these lessons are worth it. I am never going to do anything with these stupid mustic skills. Maybe, just maybe, if I can distract this crazy lady for a second and make a quick dash, I can go join the circus or hitchhike to space camp or something. Do something meaningful with my life. Why doesn’t she teach me to play like Billy Joel? Why can’t I play the fiddle in a river band? My life sucks!

I never actually thought that any poor sap bangin’ on the keys or sawin’ on the strings out of their parents’ behest (and checkbook) could possibly turn those intense, smelly Suzuki method hours into something cool or meaningful. Hell, if I’d known that someone like SoCal’s classically-trained Paul Dateh could, two decades later, be rocking his violin like a jazzy axe, mixing up A Tribe Called Quest beats and Gnarls Barkley rhythms, and singing oh-so-sweetly… I would have practiced a whole lot more.

See what I mean:

Buy Dateh’s debut album on iTunes here. Get a sample on his MySpace here.

[iTunes: Paul Dateh - s/t]
[Paul Dateh - Official Site]

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Thanks, Emily!

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"I’ve Been Locked Inside Your Heart-Shaped Watermelon for Weeks" Has a Pretty Nice Ring to It

May 12th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

File this plant genetics masterpiece under: Kinda wrong and a little creepy, yet awesome:


(Okay, okay, it’s pretty romantic that farmer Hiroichi Kimura and his wife spent three years developing this fruit to symbolize their love for both farming and each other. But that’s mushy-gushy stuff, and we really do get all uncomfy when we start talking about mushy-gushy stuff.)

[via Buzzfeed]

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Thanks, Jasmine!

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ROCK OF ASIAN: Jane Lui

May 6th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


We basically love everything about the Hong Kong-born, California-raised Jane Lui. There’s that sweet, naturally pretty face of hers, coupled with her skinny frame and goofy-adorable aesthetic. And there’s her very familiar immigrant story and too-cute happy energy. But above all things, we love the strong, smoky, sensual voice that emanates from somewhere within the tiny person: a power tool that comes unexpectedly from its host.

Since discovering Lui’s greatness, we’ ve combed through her official site, stalked her on MySpace and Facebook, followed her on Twitter, and subscribed to her YouTube channel–uh, call us superfans (or creeps). What we really can’t seem to get enough of, though, is this collaboration with YouTube star SingingDork888, a cover of The Turtles’ classic “Happy Together” that gives us all kind of sweetheart tingles:

It makes us sigh, like black-and-white pictures of our parents when they were skinny, young, and smiling.

SoCal residents, catch some live Jane Lui action with DISGRASIAN favorites Kina Grannis and David Choi this month (May 14th at 6pm) at the UC Riverside campus Bell Tower. We’re gonna try and be cool in the back, but it’ll be hard.

[Jane Lui - Official site]
[MySpace Music: Jane Lui]

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Thanks, Meena!

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Gimme Warrior-ning Sign

April 7th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Dammit all to hell.


If we had known that G4 was shooting Ninja Warrior on a custom course in SoCal’s sunny Santa Monica, just twenty minutes (or 2.3 hours, with traffic) from DISGRASIAN HQ, Jen and I would not have spent last Saturday doing frivolous, meaningless things like going for dumplings, dealing with our taxes, or attending weddings!

We would have put on our knee pads, knocked down a few Red Bull Lights, and killed that mothafuckin’ course! KILLED IT! MAIMED ITS FACE! RIPPED ITS FUGGIN’ NUTSACK OFF!

Sigh.

Ah well, at least our friend Olivia did:

Um, sorta.

[via Future Shipwreck]

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Due Dasian

February 5th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Further proof that Asian ladies are the hottest, baddest, hardest muthafuckin’ women on Earth: M.I.A. announced that she will perform at the Grammys on Sunday, THE DAY HER BABY IS DUE.

Glorious and laborious

Either contractions actually aren’t that bad, or M.I.A. really is Hardass as nails–regardless, color us impressed.

Source Source Source

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Now This is What I Call a "High School Musical"

June 7th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen
scene from Dasepo Naughty Girls and, yep, that’s a cyclops

The New York Asian Film Festival runs from June 22-July 8 on the other coast. Most of the films are new and unseen in the U.S. and will be screened at the IFC Center and Japan Society. For ticket information, go to subwaycinema.com. I’m dying to see Dasepo Naughty Girls by Korean director E. J-Yong. Its synopsis?

Based on a hugely popular webcomic, this musical (!) about Dasepo (“Useless”) High School, revolves around the plight of Poor Girl (KIM Ok-bin), a new student who has poverty, literally, hanging off her back. She’s in love with “the transfer student from Switzerland” Anthony (PARK Jin-woo), but he’s in love with Double Eyes, the sister of One Eye (LEE Kyun), the class cyclops. One problem: Double Eyes is actually a boy. Another problem: a cult is abducting students and forcing them to dirty dance for the Erotic Goddess. Third Problem: the headmaster is hypnotizing students and installing an “Instant Virgin Chip” that turns them into church-going nerds. For the kids of Dasepo High, who are constantly ducking out of class to hit the VD clinic or meet a customer, this is the ultimate insult. Who will save these perverted pupils from being transformed into model students?

Not convinced? Watch the film’s batshit-keyrazy trailer.

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