You are currently browsing posts tagged with Asians Love Gambling

If You Aren’t Going To Be An NBA Champ This Year, You May As Well Throw A Sweet Party

February 18th, 2011 | 3 comments | Posted by Diana

What are we all doin’ tomorrow night? A little birdie tells me that Kobe’s having a par-tay!

And it sure ain’t to celebrate his Lakers’ mortifying loss on Wednesday to the Cleveland Cavs.

Rather, tomorrow the 5-time NBA champ, 2-time NBA Finals MVP, Olympic Gold Medalist and DISGRASIAN Hall-of-Shamer will receive an honor that no other athlete has ever received: cement prints in front of Hollywood’s Grauman’s Chinese Theater.

And before you any of you start grossing me out by wondering aloud how big those hand and footprints are (seriously, BLEGH) please allow me to direct our attention back to the far more important headline: THERE’S GONNA BE A RAGER! You too can attend, if you have $350 to $4,000 to spend on an evening in sorta-proximity to basketball’s most talented douchetool.

According to TMZ, this over-the-top, “Asian-themed” bash is not one to miss.

The party is supposed to be INSANE — with organizers dropping roughly $50,000 to give Boulevard 3 nightclub an Asian-themed makeover in honor of Kobe enshrining his hands and feet at Grauman’s Chinese Theater earlier that day. … including a 15-foot custom made dragon.

A CUSTOM MADE DRAGON! Pish. If we had 50 Gs to spend on an “Asian theme,” you bet your ass we wouldn’t party without:

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When In Asia, Do As The Asians Do

May 10th, 2010 | 9 comments | Posted by Jen

Do not resist.

Do not fight the urge.

Do not think about how you may reflect back on your actions in the future. Stay in the moment.

Do not second-guess yourself.

Do not look at yourself through the eyes of others. You will become self-conscious, and the moment will be lost.

Take a deep breath.

Relax your shoulders.

Think about something happy, like babies, or unicorns.

Understand that, whatever your race, creed, religion, color, sex, sexual orientation, national origin, political affiliation, or age, you will surrender.

You must surrender…

Continue reading When In Asia, Do As The Asians Do

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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Scotty Nguyen

October 29th, 2009 | 2 comments | Posted by Diana

Happy 47th birthday to Scotty Nguyen!

Poker Playa

Poker Playa

Nguyen is one of those dudes that my parents would never associate with publicly, because he drinks and smokes and curses and does drugs and has lost his fortune over and over again as a direct result of his vices.

But deep down, I know they love him. After all, he’s Vietnamese, and he’s such a consistent winner. Any time a Nguyen is winning in Vegas, my mom is happy.

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Why Throw Your Money Awaysian?

April 9th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Sprint recently unveiled a new ad campaign, “Why Throw Your Money Away?” that targets the recession-consumer. Take a look at this TV spot, featuring an Asian family:

Well, Sprint got one thing right. It’s totally conceivable that the white families would stop, stare, and be baffled by the one Asian family-in-the-neighborhood’s inscrutable ways (How come the dad never smiles? Why is he gardening in a sweater vest? Why does he sometimes garden in sandals? How come the mom never speaks and runs quickly inside the house when we say hello to her? Why is the daughter always doing chores and practicing the piano badly instead of having slumber parties? etc.).

But an Asian family throwing, or, in this case, blowing money away (and not at a gambling table)?! Never!

Thanks, Beth!

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You Got to Know When to Hold ‘Em, Know When to Fold ‘Em, Know When to Walk Away, Know When to Puke

January 27th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen


To see the original Craigslist post, click here.

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Philadelphia, Show Us Some Brotherly Love

November 14th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen
Slut, er, Slot Machine

Asians love to gamble. Which is probably the most prominent exception to the rule that we are risk-averse. My grandmother, at 89, still plays mah-jong for money. One uncle of mine plays so much mah-jong that he can tell what tile he has in his hand by touch. A college roommate and dear friend of mine, who is Japanese-American, made her first trip to Atlantic City when she was 11 or 12, because her mother wanted to show her how to make fast cash in case she was ever in trouble in life. To this day, this friend consistently kills at a card table.

Casinos know and exploit this fact. They have marketing offices in Chinatowns and Asian-American communities around the country that offer free shit to would-be gamblers, from shuttle bus rides to the nearest casino to luxury hotel suites within. Foxwoods Casino is taking this idea one step further by bringing a casino to Philadelphia’s Chinatown, despite community resistance. State and city officials have already okayed plans to build a 3,000-slot-machine-casino there, in a community that, according to the AP, has lost 25% of its land in the last 50 years to public projects.

“We’re just tired of having to fight these battles over and over again,” said Deborah Wei, principal of a 400-student charter school built on land where the (rejected baseball) stadium would have risen. “We are a small community that’s been disproportionately hit by these projects.”

Foxwoods’ response to community concerns has been predictably bullshit and venal. Foxwoods spokeswoman Maureen Garrity said that the casino has a program to promote “responsible gambling” and is working with the Council on Compulsive Gambling of Pennsylvania, whatever that means.

“While addiction is certainly not limited to any one race or ethnic group, we recognize the concerns of the Chinatown community,” she said.

Riiiiight. In other words, Gambling addiction isn’t limited to any one race or ethnic group, but we sure hope it is! Ka-Ching-Chong!

Look, we love to gamble just like the next (Asian) person. When I emailed Diana about this story this morning, she wrote back, “That is a pretty crap situasian, even if my mom would be at that casino in a Philly heartbeat.” Most of our moms would; in fact, Foxwoods is counting on it, and therein lies the problem. This is a tiny, eight-block neighborhood in Philly we’re talking about here. There’s a charter elementary school there (where 65% of the student body is Asian), which means many children will be exposed to gambling at a very young age. And it’s slot machine-gambling, where the odds of winning are completely determined by luck rather than skill. Also, there’s no real evidence that casino revenue actually helps communities develop and flourish in the long-run. Is this fast cash really worth the gamble, Philadelphia?

To learn more about the fight in Philly, click here for Asian Americans United.

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ROCK OF ASIAN: Fujiya & Miyagi

October 8th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


Jen found this Fujiya & Miyagi music video on Buzzfeed last week and I have been obsessed with it ever since. First of all, I love the dope lo-fi synth track, but I’m also enthralled with the animated dice. Maybe it’s because dice remind me of gambling, and gambling reminds me of my aunts, and my aunts remind me of egg rolls, and I love egg rolls. Egg rolls are so delicious.

Just a theory.

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SPORTS ILLUSTRASIAN: Poker Faces

July 15th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

The final table of the World Series of Poker Main Event was set yesterday in Vegas, and three of the remaining nine players gunning for the $9.12 million dollar purse are Asian. David “Chino” Rheem, 28, and Kelly Kim, 31, both of Los Angeles, CA, along with 39 year-old accountant Darus Suharto of Toronto, Canada, will compete on November 9-10 for the big prize.

Why are Asians so good at poker? Well, there are the obvious reasons: we’re good at math, we’ve been gambling since the beginning of time, and we’ve got “inscrutable” poker faces.

Read Me: Suharto, Rheem, and Kim


Oh, and we love love love to win.

Good luck, boys!

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For BB!

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Color Coordinasian

March 5th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Red dress print, red shoes, red bag, red cape on inappropriately costumed child. HUH? The only person allowed to be this matchy-matchy with the ruby color is my favorite Aunt–and only while seated perkily at a baccarat table, sipping a free cocktail and yelling, “More red, more moneeeeeyy!”

But for everybody else, this business is just ti(red), lazy, and gauche.

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