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I got my mom a nice flower arrangement for Mother’s Day this year, but I didn’t get it together until the last minute, so I paid through the nose for it. I didn’t FTD that shit either–not that I’m judging if you did–because, to me, their arrangements all look like hospital flowers. (Also, I am stupid and like doing things the hard way.) So I found a florist in a fancy schmancy part of Houston who 1) actually picked up the phone late Saturday and 2) would deliver to where my parents live in the middle of nowhere. I also specified that peonies be in the arrangement, because roses are so boring. The delivery to BFN was almost half the cost of the arrangement, and they charged me extra for the peonies, because non-boring flowers don’t come cheap, apparently. Like I said, I like doing things the hard way.
But who cares? It was Mother’s Day. And I love my mama, and she loves flowers.
And sure enough, when she received them, she immediately sent me an email to let me know how much she liked them. The subject heading was “Flower of Love” (cue the Huey Lewis song if you’re old like me):
She got them on time! And they were beautiful! And I was thrilled that my mother could feel loved and celebrated without a worry in the world on her special day, which is how all mothers should feel on Mother’s Day.
But clearly, I underestimated my Hardass Asian Mom. Here’s what followed in her email:
Filed under: Asians Love Discounts, Gift Giving, Gift ideas, Hardass Asian Mamas, Hardass Asian Moms, Hardass Asian Mother's Day, Hardass Asian Mothers, Hardass Asian Parents, Holidays, Mother's Day, Mother's Day Gifts, Sending Flowers, Tiger Mother's Day, Tough Love
An advisory warning for our younger readers…
If you’ve got Hardass Asian Parents, keep them away from this article:
Why? Because it makes the case that your guardians’ two great loves–a good school and a saved buck–can live in perfect harmony. There’s a reason why Mom has us Xerox the guide to winning scholarships at the library (she sure as heck won’t let you order it on Amazon), why Dad buys us a dozen extra math workbooks but no new school clothes, why they won’t pony up $70 bucks for prom tickets but somehow find a way to shell out a grand on science camp.
They’re cheapasses. Smart cheapasses. Smart cheapasses that only care about one thing–that we get into a good school and become wildly successful so they can brag about us at parties to their friends (although, if one becomes too wildly successful, and tries to share some rewards with Mom and Dad via a salon cut ‘n’ color or nice appliances to replace their shitty/old/patched-up appliances or an expensive bottle of wine at a nice dinner or a weekly cleaning lady to save their aching backs, they’ll call out their wildly sucessful progeny for being wasteful, arrogant, condescending and ungrateful. Just something to keep in mind).
If your Cheapass Asian Parents get a peek at this article, you may find yourself milling around upstate New York with a major in naval architecture at the Webb Institute, simply because your mom found out you could go there for free. Never you mind that fantasy you’ve always had of studying “Comparisons between Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales and 1970s Blaxploitation horror films” at the NYU Gallatin School of Individualized Study.
Seriously. Forget it.
JEN: Attention, Ebates shoppers…
DIANA: (channeling Bono) “Uno, Dos, Tres… Catorce! (14?) Hallo… hallo…”
DIANA: My parents used to tell me that they got me as a baby at a Blue Light Special.
JEN: That reminds me…did you hear about the meth heads who tried to sell their baby outside a Wal-Mart? Too bad your parents weren’t there, cuz the baby was a bargain, only $25! And Ebates has a 1% cash back deal with Wal-Mart, so…
DIANA: They also could’ve put it on eBay, which has a 1-3% Ebate.
JEN: The meth really clouded their judgment.
DIANA: Hear that, kids? Just say NO.
JEN: Enough about discount babies, what did you buy using our Ebates cashola?
DIANA: Well…first, I had to get a replacement foundation for the one I lost in Oklahoma last month. Sigh. Somewhere in the rural backwoods of Tulsa, some hotel employee is walking around with a really dewy, smooth, flawless complexion. Bitch! It’s the Chanel Vitalumière in 41, Natural Beige. SPF 15, so I don’t get too tan in the face and look, as my Hardass Asian Grandma would say, “like a worker.”
JEN: You are naturally tan in the face though!
DIANA: Yeah. My grandma always frowned and made the clucking sound: “Ohhhh… you Continue reading Diana and Jen’s Excellent Ebates Shopping Adventure [Sponsored]
Filed under: Asians Love Discounts, Chanel, Clogs, Costco, Earwax, Ebates, Exes Suck, Hardass Asian Moms, Hygiene, IKEA, Madewell, Magazines, Masochism, Nordstrom, Real Doll, Sephora, Twilight, U2, ValueMags, Yoga
FACT: Asians love a discount.
For this reason, it used to embarrass the hell outta me when I was a kid to go shopping with my Hardass Asian Mom, who never paid full price for anything and always found a way to get what she wanted on sale even if it wasn’t. Like, she’d find a loose thread on a pair of pants and argue for ten percent off. Or she’d see some microscopic flaw in the weaving of the fabric of some blouse and argue for twenty-five off, while I quietly died of humiliation next to the cash register.
BUT. Now that I’m a grown-up, and the money I spend is the money I have to earn, I’m a bit more like my mom than I’d like to admit. (And, really, it’s futile trying to shake the lessons your Hardass Asian Mom’s drilled into you anyway, whether it’s about staying out of the sun so you can look young forever or knowing how to tie the perfect knot on a plastic leftovers bag to avoid spillage of said bag’s contents or never walking around the house–or anywhere for that matter–barefoot.)
So I was pretty stoked when Ebates.com decided to sponsor us to use their site and blog about it. Because as bloggers, we rarely get paid to blog. And as shoppers, we NEVER get paid to shop. Actually, as bloggers, we kinda never get paid to blog, either. Sigh. But I digress.
What the hell is Ebates, you ask? Basically it’s a site that gives out discounts on stuff you buy from its participating stores. What seems to set the site apart from similar coupon sites is that Ebates also gives you cash back every time you shop, and the cash is paid to you quarterly, either by check or Paypal. The cash back is some percentage of your purchase total, and while some of the percentages seem small–1.0% off at Apple, 1.5% off at Virgin Atlantic Airways–who’s going to look down their nose at FREE MONEY?! Refusing free money is not only not Asian, it’s straight-up DISGRASIAN, y’all.
Sign-up is easy. First of all, it’s free. Second, it only involves putting in your email and a password, then you’re good to go. Normally, they give you $5 back just for signing up, but if you click the Ebates banner at the top of our blog, you’ll get $8.88 back. (Plus that will help convince them to keep advertising with us, which will make us less broke, which will enable us to blog more, which will make us happy, which, in turn, will make you happy? Yes?)
Ages: 28 and 23
Occupations: Forever 21′s marketing and visuals department heads, respectively
Linda and Esther Chang are the daughters of Don and Jin Sook Chang, the Korean American founders of one of our favorite places on Earth, Forever 21. (Where else can you get a cute, fashion-forward $12 dress, we ask you? A $12 dress!) Like the company’s wares, the Chang sisters are young, fresh, and adorbs. They were recently profiled by the LA Times’ Booth Moore, where we learned the following:
- They’re best friends.
- They’re both Ivy League-educated.
- They work for the family business, which opened its first store in 1984 and, by the end of that year, had grown its sales from $35,000 to $700,000.
- They go to church with their parents on Sunday.
We tend to hate on people like this–i.e. people who please their Hardass Asian Parents all the time rather than disappoint–but with the Chang sisters, we just can’t. Their devotion to their family and the family business is just so earnest (older sis Linda says things like, “I love it when people come out of our stores being so happy”). And the girls themselves are just too cute.
Then, of course, it all goes back to the fact that the Chang sisters represent the $12 dress. The $12 dress!
Filed under: Adorbs, Asians Love Discounts, Cheap Fun, Clothes that Look Great on Diana and Jen, Cute Things, Discount Fashion, Discounts, Disposable Fashion, Don Chang, Esther Chang, Fast Fashion, Forever 21, Immigrants, Jin Sook Chang, Korean-Americans, Linda and Esther Chang, Linda Chang, Pretty Dresses