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Here’s a video on “How To Be Asian” by some chick named Nicole. It’s supposed to be funny or something? Apparently it’s an inside joke and part of an ongoing schtick of Nicole’s that involves putting shit on her face to become another race (black, usually) and maybe being self-satirizing about it but also maybe just being lazy and racist.
Taped eyes? Yellowface? Ching chong? Yawn.
The real tip on “How To Be Asian” that’s missing from the vid? If you want to be Asian, rule number one is Don’t Suck. I don’t know if this video was supposed to make me laugh or give me an outrage boner but neither happened. It just kinda hung there like a stale fart waiting to be collected in a glass jar and ushered out of the room so the rest of us could carry on. It was meh, it was mediocre. Mediocrity, of course, is failure, and failure isn’t Asian.
Filed under: Alexandra Wallace, Asians Hate Failure, Ching Chong Ling Long Ting Tong, Do Better, FAIL, Failure, How To Be Asian, Mediocrity, Racist Videos, Stupid White Chicks, Unfunny Stuff, Viral Videos, Wannabes
For those of you eagerly awaiting a very public failure from one of Tiger Mom Amy Chua’s prodigy offspring–like a crack cocaine bender or half-naked photos leaked onto the Internet–so that you can feel better about your own parenting-style/feel better about the lax way in which you were parented/feel better about the strict way in which you were parented that weirdly didn’t yield the same sort of results/feel better about the fact that “the Chinese way” isn’t better therefore you don’t have to confront your diminishing place in the global power structure/oh hell, just feel better about yourself in general…
Um, better luck next year?
Because this year, Chua’s Number One Daughter, Sophia (pictured), has been accepted to Harvard–Chua’s alma mater and where she and her invisible husband, Jed Rubenfeld, received their law degrees–despite the fact that the university took only 6.2 percent of its undergraduate applicants for the Class of 2015, which was the lowest admissions rate of all the Ivies. And according to Above the Law, Sophia has already decided to matriculate there as well.
But hey, there’s still time for Lulu–Chua’s Number Two Daughter who teaches her Tiger Continue reading Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior: Because Their Daughters Get Into Harvard, That’s Why
Filed under: Allergic to Failure, Amy Chua, Amy Chua Tiger Mother, Asians Hate Failure, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, Class of 2015, Failure, Harvard, Harvard Law School, Harvard University, Jed Rubenfeld, Legacies, Louisa Chua-Rubenfeld, Lulu Chua-Rubenfeld, Sophia Chua-Rubenfeld, Tiger Cubs, Tiger Mom, Tiger Mom's Daughter Accepted To Harvard, Tiger Mom's Daughter Gets Into Harvard, Tiger Moms, Yale Law School