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Gawker writer Adrian Chen wrote a most amusing “Compendium of Unnecessary Lady Gaga Eccentricities” last week, which included observations like: “Lady Gaga thinks ghosts are real and they are haunting her. She spent $4,000 on ghost hunting equipment because she was worried of “Bad energy” infecting London’s O2 stadium.”
Look, I hate the Gaga. I think she’s a poseur. And I know all of you aren’t with me on this but–wait, did I just write that a guy named Adrien CHEN penned a piece slamming a POP STAR? What the FUCK??!?!?
OH THANK GOD. A charming reader–er, leader–named Kenny Tarr–wait, Tall!–already wrote in a complaint.
We absorutery aglee. An Itarian supel-stal who has been in “American” for at reast 100 yeals (wow, Germanotta is older than we thought!”) has evely light to be in this countly! Evelyone knows that AMERICAN berongs to the Itarians!!! Just don’t tell the Native Amelicans and Mexicans!
HOW DARE this Chinaman comment? HOW DARE HE????
Filed under: 20-watt bulbs, Adrian Chen, Angry Letters, Asian-ness, Botching the English Language, Compendium Of Unnecessary Lady Gaga Eccentricities, Engrish, Gawker, Idiots Are So Not Threatening, Kenny Tarr, Kenny Tarr Will Probably Die Saying: "Hey Watch This!", Lady Gaga, Lame Lady Gaga Fans, People Are Too Stupid To Be Offensive, People That Have Been In American For Over 100 Years, Racists, Really Stupid Americans, Stupid People, Weird American Behavior, You Have To Laugh
Norman Hsu’s spokesperson has finally talked publicly about Hsu running away via Amtrak train when he was supposed to appear at his court date two weeks ago. As it turns, out, Hsu had no intentions to run. He was “confused.”
His spokesman, Jason Booth, said Hsu intended to appear for his Sept. 5 court date in California and may have thought he was boarding a Bay Area Rapid Transit train when he instead caught an Amtrak train heading out of the state.
“That’s what appears to be how it happened,” said Booth, who was in Colorado on Tuesday on the eve of a court hearing at which Hsu was expected to waive extradition, officially ending his 15-year run from California authorities. “He was disoriented at the time. … We believe he suffered a psychological, mental or physical breakdown. How that was caused I don’t know. I’m not a doctor.”
I’m not buying it. It’s all lies.
And I’ll tell you why. Not just because it’s a preposterous, lame, shitty excuse (even though it is), but because it just sounds so incredibly un-Asian. Booth clearly does not understand Asian people.
First off, Hsu is not crazy. Asians are the last people on earth who’d admit that they’re crazy (hello, Kenneth Eng?). While this is NOT A GOOD THING, and we would love for every mentally-ill member of the tribe to cut the bullshit denial and get help, Hsu suddenly having a mental breakdown when he’s got a date with justice seems a wee bit too convenient. Crazian? Hell no, we know from Crazians. Booth made that shit up.
Also, Asians don’t get confused. That’s one of those ridiculous MAD TV-style stereotypes that always kinda gets my goat. In real life, we always know what we’re doing. Seriously. Sometimes it’s sinister, sometimes it’s science. But we always know what we’re doing.
Most importantly, if Booth had any–ANY–inkling of knowledge as to how Asian people operate, he would know that both phrases: “I don’t know” and “I’m not a doctor” are like kisses of death. My own ears even bled a little as I watched him say it, this morning on CNN.
Booth should definitely, definitely not be speaking for an Asian man. And lying for one at that. I see right through that shit.