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The annual Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue is here! Which means, for all of you single hetero dudes out there, Valentine’s Day is today. And pretty much every day hereafter, considering there are 17 models in the issue, and about 40 pictures of each of them in the online edition, which, if you mete out your intake of it, should last you through the apocalypse of 2012, and then some.
The 2011 Swimsuit Issue features two hapa hotties (ha-tties?): Jessica Gomes, an Australian native of Portuguese and Chinese descent, and Chrissy Teigen, a Utahan who’s Thai and Norwegian.
Filed under: 2011 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, Asian Babes, Asian Hotties, Asian Models, Australiasians, Bikini Babes, Chrissy Teigen, Hapa, Hapas, Hawt, Hotties, Jessica Gomes, Mixed People, Mixed-Race People, Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition, Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue
No one understands better than DISGRASIAN the joy and clever possibilities of drinking haterade all daysian long. How else could we derive such pleasure from talking about our favorite little dog, big dog, and mouse ad nauseum?
But when we took our first look at the “hot or not” (or in this case “not or not”) homage site SandraOhIsUgly.com, we just felt… flat.
Why? Because we don’t think Sandra Oh is ugly? Perhaps. For the record, we think she’s pretty fuckin’ fierce, yo, even if she ain’t the most photogenic lady we’ve ever met.
Maybe because we think this shit skews kinda racist?
But more than all of those things, we’re pretty sure the site is run by one or two nerdy, white, B-student virgins from Columbia University who are clearly angry about not getting laid and don’t know what to do with their damage.
AND WE JUST REALLY FUCKING HATE PATHETIC, UNTALENTED NERDS.
Hails from: Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam
Occupation: Vietnam Idol 2007 winner
Why She’s a Babe: Cuz she’s Vietnameasy on the eyes! And when she’s in heavy makeup, the 20 year-old singer kinda looks like a drag queen, which we think gives her an edge. Also, we love her cute round nose and how she’s unafraid to flaunt it in photos.
Check out Phuong’s Idol performances on YouTube.
Congrats to JabbaWockeeZ for steppin’ up, stomping the yard, saving the last dance, breakin’ and all that jazz to win America’s Best Dance Crew!!!
Today, everyone wants to be a dopeass dancing fool who can dance in a creepy mime mask and make it look cool, not least of all this guy:
Click here to see all of JabbaWockeeZ’s performances.
What do you get when you mix one of our favorite bands of all time, The Cure, with dopeass West Coast hip-hop?
Far*East Movement’s (FM) new single Lowridin.
And they’re so eazy on the eyez. *fans self*
Those asstards at Maxim–y’know, the ones that spend so much time deconstructing how one can get a blow job since they’ve never actually been fellated–recently responded to Esquire‘s annual “Sexiest Woman Alive” announcement with an opposite list: “The Five Unsexiest Women Alive.”
In last place landed Britney Spears (fair enough)–although we take issue with scoffing at Madonna for being nearly menopausal, or Sarah Jessica Parker for having a horsey face, or…
WHERE YOU’VE SEEN HER UNSEXY: Grey´s Anatomy
WHY SHE’S UNSEXY: The only thing worse than a show about doctors is a show about sappy chick doctors we´re forced to watch or else our girlfriends won´t have sex with us. We´re holding Dr. McSkinny, with her cold bedside manner and boyish figure, personally responsible.
Sure, we’ve been thrown by Oh’s crazy face before, but we think she and her tight bod are hot. The woman is fierce, smart, strong, fascinating, and in our opinion, superduper sexy. So we are ANNOYED, we are mind-boggled, we are PISSED, we are damn riled up about this decision!!!
What kind of Asian lady does Maxim find sexy, anyway?
…would look like this:
I was just having a conversation last night with friends about whether or not we wanted to see Across the Universe, Julie Taymor’s new flick with the bitchin’ Beatles soundtrack, which opens wide this weekend. On the one hand, you get to listen to Beatles music for two hours…probably a magical experience and hard to fuck up. But on the other, the trailer, while visually enticing, was totally confusing, and I have a pet peeve about watching people paint and scratch out drawings on the big screen; to me, that’s like watching people check their email.
But, today, one of our dear readers Liz sent me this Across the Universe clip of “I Wanna Hold Your Hand,” sung by newcomer T.V. Carpio, whose mother Teresa is a legendary Hong Kong performer.
Which sold me on the movie. I love T.V.’s plaintive version of the time-worn song, and homegirl’s smokin’ hot with a cool mole on her upper lip…which means this might be the last time you find her on the sideline bleachers.
Happy Birthday, your Holy Hotness. And thank you for bringing dignity and dimension to every role you play. When is Hollywood going to wake up to the fact that you’re a leading man? Until then, you’re MINE, I mean, uh, ours. We’re throwing you a party on Saturday at DISGRASIAN HQ with streamers, cake, and sex toys…I mean, presents.
Jen and I rocked the house with M.I.A. at Los Angeles’ hipster haven Echoplex last night, and as always, the lady with lyrics was totally bitchin’ and the walls were shaking with her smooth rhymes and quaking beats. We tried to party like it was 1999 and shake our tailfeathers like we were at rave in 1997–but were totally upstaged by clusters of 100-lb. cutie music nuts adorned in enough gold bicycle shorts, ironic mustaches, and cropped leggings to make Terry Richardson cry.
Bottom line: M.I.A. kicks ass. We love her. And her fans.
Her new album Kala drops August 27 (and having heard it all, I must say it already puts her kick-ass debut LP Arular to shame)– but if you can’t wait, download a sneak peek here.
T&A blogs are not typically known for their high-class content, commitment to truth, or class. Still, I went asnarl when I came across trash site “The Grumpiest” (no link provided–I’m not giving this DISGRASIAN any free traffic) which features this little weekly gem:
While this grumpy boob-ogler does know how to pick a beautiful girl, why seperate the golden girls from the rest?
a) pandering to those of the yellow-feverish persuasian. What a great demo. “Oh, yeah… I’ve dated seven Korean girls. I love how submissive they are.”
b) affirmative action. The almond-eyed obviously can’t compete with rest. Best to just give them their own category, in which “innocent pout” and “bony bowl-legs” are “hot.”
Here’s a hint: It’s C!
Occupation: Writer, Comedian, Actor
Known for: impersonating her Korean mom, loudly and proudly representin’ the LGBT community, blogging her mind at www.margaretcho.com, being an All-American badass.
Bottom line: You are sexy, smart, snarky, and sensitive. You are our heroine.