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Tiger Woods Mans Up By Wearing Man-Jewelry

March 22nd, 2010 | 3 comments | Posted by Jen

For the first time since the Nov. 27 car accident that outed him as a cheater, Tiger Woods answered questions from the media in two separate interviews with the Golf Channel and ESPN.

Both interviews were billed as Tiger’s first since Nov. 27, and both seemed as carefully scripted as his Feb. 19 press conference. To each media outlet, Tiger declined to discuss what really happened on Nov. 27 when he cracked up his Escalade in the middle of the night, saying everything was already “in the police report” and anything beyond that was a “private” matter. When the Golf Channel’s Kelly Tilghman asked Tiger how he crashed his car, the golfer did nothing to improve the rep of Asian drivers everywhere by saying, rather obliquely:

I wasn’t going very fast, but unfortunately, I hit a few things.

Tiger did make one VERY BIG personal revelation over the weekend, however.

Continue reading Tiger Woods Mans Up By Wearing Man-Jewelry

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We Get It Already, Blasians Can’t Drive Escalades

December 2nd, 2009 | 8 comments | Posted by Diana

As Gawker aptly pointed out yesterday, nearly every hack comedian in America managed a take on this setup: “Blasian Tiger Woods crashes his Escalade.”


There are many versions, but the joke goes something like this:

Tiger Woods crashed his Escalade yesterday!
Well you know, he’s Black and Asian [pause for yuks].
And of course… the Black part of him bought the Cadillac [insert ghetto grin] and the Asian part of him was driving [insert buck teef]!

Click here for the sampler flight of punchlines.

Surprisingly, though, not one comedian seemed to find a way to make the “joke” funny. ZzZZZzzZzzZZZzZzzzzzZzzzz.

[via Gawker]

Thanks, Jasmine and Colin!

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Road Rasian

January 26th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Last week, two dudes got into a fight after a road rage incident escalated on a Staten Island highway, and one of them, Yao Zhou, 35, a sushi chef, cut up the other guy, Jack Zaiback (pictured left), 23, with a sushi knife. Zaiback got in some blows, too, cutting Zhou above the eye with his fists, and both men have been charged with first-degree assault.

But they should have been charged with first-degree fucktardedness. Because they pulled over to rumble and, I mean, who does that? It’s one thing to mouth off to another driver–I have been known to get into it with assholes on the road and talk about how tiny their dicks are, and I’m not condoning that, either–but pulling over? Pulling a knife? Apparently, they were rolling on the ground, on the shoulder of the highway, Zhou brandishing a knife, before a patrolman broke up the fight. It’s amazing that one or both of them didn’t get killed. That shit’s just plain stupid.

Thanks, Jasmine!

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