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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Vagina Whitening (That’s Right, You Heard Me)

April 13th, 2012 | 5 comments | Posted by Jen

One year I vacationed in Mexico and spent the entire time in the water, body surfing and boogie boarding. My skin got really dark, which I don’t care about one way or another, though I am afraid of sun damage and skin cancer, in that order. I made one mistake that trip though, and it wasn’t forgetting sunscreen (always, always remember sunscreen). My mistake was going to see my grandmother right after. The first thing she said, once she got over the shock, was “How did you get so dark?!” For the rest of the visit, she introduced me to her friends as “My Granddaughter-Who’s-Normally-Not-This-Dark.”

Light skin is still prized in Asia for a number of reasons that have to do with longstanding notions of race, class, and gender. Good thing then, that there’s a booming market for skin whitening creams, many of them manufactured by Western companies! And good thing the companies who make these creams also make commercials, because quite a few of them–beyond their creepy, disturbing premise–are kinda hilarious.

1. Skin Whitening For Young Girls

There’s this commercial for SkinWhite Teens, produced by Filipino company Splash Corporation, a skin whitening product designed specifically for young girls:

Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Vagina Whitening (That’s Right, You Heard Me)

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Secretary of Stasia

February 16th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Many of you were probably pleased to see that Hillary Clinton bucked tradition and made Asia her first overseas trip as Secretary of State.

CNN reports:

Speaking at the New York-based Asia Society last week, Clinton said the Obama administration wants to “develop a broader and deeper” relationship with Asia, a region that has felt overlooked by the United States despite its growing global importance.

Talk about reprzentasian! We’re glad to see that this administration doesn’t have their head up their collective asses, and realizes that Asia is currently world’s top contender–if they’re taking over everything, we better be on the inside (or at least real close) when it happens.

Moreover, we’re just pleased as punched to see yet another sign that weird phrases/words like “rational thought” and “common sense” and “diplomacy” might actually getting utilized again in Washington. We are psyched! And Hills…

Clinton speaking at the Asia Society in NY on Friday

… seems… thrilled…about it all, um, too.

Source Source
Thanks, Dave!

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It’s a Continent, You Fools.

March 15th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

The CW Network is currently aiding the planet in what is quite possibly the most imperative search ever to rest its hopes in the hungrily awaiting arms of reality television… that for the next Pussycat Doll.

Of course I’ve asked myself, does the world really need one more Pussycat Doll? I’m still having trouble identifying them in any other way than “that lead one” and “those other ones.”

I mean, I am a teensy bit fascinated by “that lead one”–a vixen (who, like the others, can’t really sing but has an incredible looking rump) named Nicole Scherzinger, who has undergone so many stage name makeovers that not even her pinky seems to be half-Filipino anymore.

Anyway, if you’ve watched The Search for the Next Doll at all, you may have noticed that there is a talented, attractive 18-year old African-American Knick City Dancer from New York.

Her name is……ASIA. It may be very well be her stage name (bad), I’ll give her, but it may very well be her given name (worse).

Let’s discuss this a bit. I’ve known a Jordan, a Chad, and God Bless any woman named Tennessee. But it’s sketchy territory taking on the name of a location– a state, a country perhaps. But Asia? Really?

This Asia did it. But they’re PROG!

Asia Carrera did it, but she’s a PORN STAR. And check out the title she replaced: Jessica Andrea Steinhauser. Blick, that name cultivates images of bible study, not blow jobs.

You, ASIA, don’t actually rock and you are but a contestant for a soft-core-porn-homage pop group. Unfortunately, you don’t yet carry the massive weight required to wield the autograph of fifty-two countries (roughly 4 billion people). Don’tcha wish you were a little more like Name-Changy-Nicole? Then how ’bout a new stage moniker… I’ll even make the first suggestion: BADOW SASSAFRASS.

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