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First Tiger Woods, now Junior Seau…what is it about the Cadillac Escalade that makes it the perfect getaway car for men involved–allegedly–in domestic disputes?
Seau, who was arrested Sunday night on suspicion of domestic violence committed against his 25 year-old live-in girlfriend, drove his 3-ton SUV off a seaside cliff a few hours after the arrest. The NFL veteran came away from the accident with minor injuries and reportedly told police that he had fallen asleep at the wheel. His agent, Mike Kinkler, told ESPN that the arrest and the accident were unrelated.
“One had nothing to do with the other,” Kinkler said. “It’s unfortunate the two events happened so close together, but what people are reporting is completely untrue.”
Uh-huh. That’s what Tiger said.
This can’t possibly help the reputation of the Escalade as the douchemobile of choice, but it likely won’t hurt sales either, especially since Cadillac’s have soared 43.8% in the first nine months of this year. Because even philanderers and wife-beaters–alleged, that is–need a bumpin’ set of wheels.
Filed under: Alleged Girlfriend Beaters, American Samoans, Arrests, Cadillac, Cadillac Escalade, Dicks, Domestic Disputes, Domestic Violence, Douchemobiles, Douches, Junior Seau, NFL, NFL Players, Pacific Islanders, Philanderers, Tiger Woods, Wife-Beaters
The 2010 Conservative Political Action Conference, affectionally known as CPAC, is under way as we speak in our nation’s capital.
“Our notion of freedom doesn’t consist of snorting cocaine, which distinguishes us from Barack Obama.”
Oh ho ho ho ho! ZING!
(Cock-sure commenters, we know that everybody’s parsing words. But this shit is seriously SO SILLY.)
Filed under: Alcoholics, Arrests, Bad Jokes, Cocaine, Coke, Conservatards, Conservative Pieces of Shit, Conservative Political Action Conference, Conservatives, CPAC, CPAC 2010, Drunks, George W. Bush Dick Cheney and Rush Limbaugh Are All Addicts, Huffington Post, Jason Mattera, Opiates, Oxycontin, Rehab, Rush Limbaugh Addiction, Rush Limbaugh Is A Junkie, Young America's Foundation
Lab technician Raymond Clark was arrested and charged with murder this morning, for strangling grad student Annie Le in a case of what police are calling “workplace violence.” Clark was apprehended at the Super 8 Motel that he holed up in after being released yesterday, following a DNA test and police questioning. Clark’s DNA ultimately yielded a match with evidence collected from the crime scene, and there are currently no other suspects.
While it is a relief to see this investigation moving quickly and “smoothly,” it’s no doubt that the more we know, the worse we feel.
Malaysian police have arrested a man who has been illegally practicing dentistry on patients with no official training or licensing for 29 years.
The 63-year-old man, who convinced his neighbors he was a retired army dentist after being told he was too old to work as a dentist’s assistant, charged 20 ringgit ($5.76) for extractions and 130 ringgit for dentures, the paper said.
Ummm… $5.76 for extractions? I’ll yank your tooth with a string and a door for free. You hear me? FREE!!!!!