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Announcing… The WINNER Of The AMAZIAN JR. BABY PHOTO CONTEST!

October 12th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana


UPSHOT TO HOSTING A PHOTO CONTEST FOR CUTE AMAZIAN BABY PICTURES: Your ploy to collect the world’s awesomest picture gallery of cutie patooties totally works, and you realize that (phew!) your readers not only have great taste in blogs/baby clothes, but also have pretty damn good genetics. You marvel at how much better you feel knowing that your audience is even more attractive than you thought. You totally (and selfishly) feel encouraged, convinced that your own future children will be adorable. You smile a lot. You sigh a LOT. You say “awwwwwwwwwwohmygoodnessbabiesbabiesbabies!!!” over and over and over again with giggles of glee.

DOWNSIDE TO HOSTING A PHOTO CONTEST FOR CUTE AMAZIAN BABY PICTURES: You realize that every photo you receive is the cutest photo you’ve ever seen. You realize that choosing between them is more difficult than picking an outfit for the first day of sixth grade. You spend many sleepless nights, tossing and turning, trying to decide which makes your heart skip more, Lily’s eyelashes or Kaiya’s Cheeks or Idris’s brows or Hero’s frown or Oscar’s bear ear hoodie. You decide to focus on photo composition and things like lighting/focus, but realize you don’t know jack about that stuff. You give up and lean on a psychic for help.

But through the ups and downs, we’ve enjoyed every single frickin’ minute of our very first AMAZIAN JR. BABY PHOTO CONTEST. SO LET’S GET TO THE GOOD PART!

The grand prize winner, who will receive a $50 Gift Certificate to Kumquat, is…

Sophia, 18 months

SOPHIA!!! Okay, there are her marshmallow cheeks, dark and soft curls,and the fact that she’s a “trouble maker”–all set against a sweet floral background. But what do we really love about this photo? Sophia’s BABY GROUCHFACE! The world’s a pretty tough place, and it’s hard to look adorable when there’s so much to be cranky about (Trust us; we, uh know), but she does it so well. OH, SO WELL.

Congratulasians to Sophia and her parents! We can’t wait to see you rocking your new Kumquat garb!

But wait, there’s more.

What y’all didn’t know is that our first runner-up will be receiving a $25 Gift Certificate to Kumquat as well! Woohoo!!!

And the first runner-up photo is:

Penelope, 3 years

PENELOPE. She’s going to hate us in 10 years when she’s a teenager that is awkward and gangly and growing in all the wrong places and grouchy about everything–particularly photos of herself in the baby bath–but we just can’t help it. We LOVE her shampoo-hawk, and the expression on her beautiful face! Now let’s dress this clean little one in some dandy duds!

Guys, we couldn’t be more serious–we struggled so much to choose between all of these too-cute photos, especially when each little face made our wombs do a cheer. They’re simply too good to keep to ourselves, so we’re sharing all of the submissions with you (click to play)! ENJOY!!!

And to all of those parents out there, we highly recommend outfitting your little ones in Kumquat all day, every day. All of your cute photos will be EVEN CUTER, as if that’s even possible!!!

[DISGRASIAN™: The AMAZIAN JR. BABY PHOTO CONTEST]
[Kumquat - Official Site]

Thank you thank you thank you, Angelyn and Jasmine! And thank you to all of those who submitted photos!!!

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Imperfect, Indeed

May 20th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Mariah exclusively announced the name of her new album today on Twitter, which is slated to be called Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel.

Frankly, we figured after all of our helpful comments regarding her last record, the new LP would have been dedicated to us, and maybe even called DISGRASIAN is the Bestest Blog Ever–but no dice. WTF!?!?

Overall, though, we’re just glad she didn’t follow up E=MC² with a rekkid called U Hotter Than Quantum Theory, Lamb. Or Memoirs of a Hot Geisha. “Glad,” by the way.

Additional note: Think we’re wrong to judge Ms. Carey on her brains? Try “reading” her tweets (if your brain starts to hurt, stop) and we’re sure you’ll feel differently.

[Mariah Carey on Twitter]

Source

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Congratulasians to the Affianced!

May 19th, 2008 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

The happy daysians–resulting from last week’s California Supreme Court ruling that cleared the way for gay marriage–just keep on coming! George Takei announced on his blog over the weekend that he now plans to marry his partner of over two decades, Brad Altman–and even though we hate weddings we can’t help but get kinda weepy and super-sentimental about it.

Congratulasians, Takei and Altman! Can we please be invited to the wedding? We are great gift givers and willing to dance until the band loads out.

Source Source Source

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Hey FODs!

November 9th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

…no, y’all, that ain’t a newfangled ricial slur, that’s you, Friends Of DISGRASIAN.

We have exciting news!

No, neither of us is pregnant.

We are now contributors to 23/6, the HuffPost’s newly-launched comedy site. It’s Jon Stewart meets Jen and Diana! Check out our first post (last week’s DOTW updated), about the HaraGossip Girls.

And to our new readers…WELCOME!!!

Stick around and read the latest about Bai Ling’s nipples, Maria Sharapova’s crotch, Kim Jong Il’s porn-producer steez, and the Japanese Devo!

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