You are currently browsing posts tagged with Amputee Fetishes are Not Cool

Please Get Your Vagina Outta My Face, American Apparel

August 18th, 2009 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Usually I’m pretty amused by American Apparel ads. Yeah, they’re porn-ish, but they’re also kinda goofy, an aspect I attribute to the clothes actually being advertised, which aren’t sexy so much as fugly. Half the time, it seems like American Apparel isn’t advertising clothes or sex even but jazzercise, that form of aerobic exercise that was so popular among people’s Tab-drinking moms in the 80′s (not my mom, because Chinese mothers don’t “work out” per se, unless you count speed-walking around the neighborhood in a visor and a noisy nylon windbreaker). It’s like the grimy hipster version of jolie laide, emphasis on the laide.

But a recent round of photographs advertising pantyhose on American Apparel’s website, featuring Hyunha the “Spanish gymnast,” are neither sexy nor fugly, they’re just gross.


When I look at these photos, Brazilian bikini waxing, anal bleaching, and pap smears come to mind. They’re not goofy, they’re gynecological. (Admittedly, they conjure amputees too, which are sexy to some.) But really, there’s so much vaj up in my grill, I’ve lost my appetite for all things, sexual, retail, or otherwise. And I’m definitely going to skip the tuna fish for lunch, that’s for sure.

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Like We Said: Tarantino Sucks

June 26th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Quentin sucking on some toe jam at LA’s Empress Sushi.


QUENTIN TARANTINO: So fuckin’ yeah, arigato, toes-o!

DISEMBODIED LEG: Are you sure this is ok to do here?

QUENTIN TARANTINO: I could own this muthafuckin’ place in a muthafuckin’ heartbeat. I can suck all the female toe I want.

DISEMBODIED LEG: Do you want me to wash those first? I’ve been walking around in flip-flops all day.

QUENTIN TARANTINO: S’cool Misako. Your toes taste like cherry blossoms and green tea.

DISEMBODIED LEG: Uh, Mister Tarantino, my name is Courtney Rubenstein.

QUENTIN TARANTINO: OOOhhhh, Assata, baby girl, your big one is like a muthafuckin’ chocolate thumb.

DISEMBODIED LEG: Okay, this is getting weird.

QUENTIN TARANTINO: Soul sister! Don’t get square! This is boss! [nuzzles between toes #3 and #4) MMMmmmmmm MMMMMM! You smell like raw tuna, my little bitch.

DISEMBODIED LEG: I'm outta here.

QUENTIN TARANTINO: [in a panic, mouth latched on to pinkie toe] mmrfTaaaake the pirrccttture!!!!

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Amputees, the Addendum

April 24th, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Perhaps yesterday’s post featuring mail-order Japanese Amputee sex dolls made you giggle. Or remind you to place an order. Yeah! Whatever. What’s the harm in a doll? Barbies are dolls. Bratz are dolls. Oy…I’m actually not making a great case here.

Anyhoozle…

The following post was yanked off of the Los Angeles Craigslist last week, the day after it was put up:


Nope. No harm there.

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I Hate to Judge. Oh Wait– I Don’t.

April 23rd, 2007 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

God bless sex toys. They arguably only intend good feelings for people, and you can’t begrudge them that.

Unfortunately, I have to draw the line at large-tata’d Asian amputee sex dolls. And for that matter, the whole Japanese-gore-amputee fetish thing has got to go. Talk about DISGRASIAN: It’s innately violent, totally demeaning, and “ew.” Just “ew.”

That said, anybody have a few thousand Yen to spare?




DUDE! This is wrong. Super wrong.

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