DISGRASIAN™

Sex And The City 2: Shameful Or Spectacular?

Look, guys! It’s a photo from the Tokyo premiere of Sex and the City 2!

Oh YOU. Don’t hate. (HA! Look who’s talking!)

I’m going to say this once even though I know that many of you won’t believe me, many more will scoff, and even more will ridicule me for it:

THE MOVIE IS NOT THAT BAD.

I saw it last Thursday, fully convinced it was going to be a stinker–likely for the same reasons as you: Your best friend walked out of the theater grousing about what a drop-kick to feminism this flick is (by the way, should we really be looking to movies that contain bedazzled logos for feminist benchmarks?). The 16% Rotten Tomatoes rating is simply… pathetic. The “I Am Woman” karaoke scene is worse than it sounds (in fact, every musical number is worth a cringe). Someone told you about the burqa escape scene (sadly, true) and multiple appearances/mentions of camels/magic carpets (also true).

Or you saw the first movie, which was downright abysmal.

But by golly, I’ll stand behind my statement. SATC2 is fun, familiar, and a worthwhile way to spend a few evening hours, especially for a die-hard fan that’s willing to watch the PG-macheted, syndicated reruns on TBS every night while ordering dinner (or owns an SJP fragrance). That, my friends, is who I am. Jen is like, my full-on bestie, and even she has only just begun to understand the extend of my SATC nerd-dom. I’m like a Trekkie, but for Sex (or as Jen’s best mate calls us, “sluts!”)

So if you are like me, you love the HBO series unconditionally–despite Miranda Continue reading Sex And The City 2: Shameful Or Spectacular?

Filed under: Aidan Shaw, Alexandra Fong, Amazian Jr., Burqas, Carrie Bradshaw, HBO, Neuroses, Nonsense, Not So Bad, Romps, Sarah Jessica Parker, Sex and The City, Sex and the City 2, Sex and the City Movie Sequel, SJP Fragrances, Sluts, Taking a Hating Break, Trekkies

Real-Life Russell?

ZOMG.

ZOMG.

ZOMG.

ZOMG.

ZOMG.

ZOMG.

WHO IS THIS CHILD AND WHERE CAN I BUY HIM???????????????

gimmegimmegimme.

[via FFFFOUND!]

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Thanks, Erika!

Filed under: Adorable Tummies, Amazian Jr., Cute Overload, Doppelgangers, Fascinating Likeness, I Am Obsessed With The Kid From Up, Jordan Nagai, Real-Life Russell, Russell From Up, Up, Up the Movie, Womb Rumblers

Product Lust: The Phillip Lim/OCA Tee

We learned from Angry Asian Man that fashion “It” boy Phillip Lim has teamed up with esteemed non-profit organization OCA to create an exclusive tee for Nordstrom just in time for Asian-Pacific American Heritage Month. Sales will benefit OCA’s youth programs, and by golly, doesn’t that shirt have a beautiful drape at the neck?

I know some of you are all gonna get aaaaaallll up in my grill for recommending you buy an $85 tee, but think of the kids! They’re little and Asian American, which means they’re the cutest small people you’d ever want to meet! Surely they deserve a few extra bucks. And just to say it again, look at that drape at the neck!!!

Buy the tee here.

[via Angry Asian Man]
[OCA - Official Site]
[Nordstrom: APAHM]

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Happy Birthday, P!

Filed under: $85 Tee, Amazian Jr., Asian Fashion Designers, Asian-Pacific American Heritage Month, Celebrasian, Fashion, Kids, Non-Profit Organizations, OCA, OCA Youth Programs, Phillip Lim, Special Projects, T-Shirts, Tees

Float On

My family fled war-torn Vietnam in June of 1975 by secretly hopping aboard a freight ship meant to carry textiles. Someone tipped my mom’s brother off to the opportunity and he immediately rounded up the rest of the relatives. They hastily collected their meager belongings, then hustled to the dock. My family was joined by about 200 other people on the shore. The ship docked and everyone quietly boarded the ship, tucking themselves into the dark nooks, while dozens of jumbo bins were loaded onto the deck. The ship left shore once again, and after a number of miles some of the bins began to move, as 150 more people emerged from underneath. They all went to America.

Every time my mom and I talk about this particularly fascinating bit of their story, we clash over one point.

I say, “So that’s how you came here!”

She says, “Yes, we came on a boat.”

I say, “Right. So you were boat people that came–”

She cuts me off and shrieks, “WE ARE NOT BOAT PEOPLE!”

I say, “Didn’t we just talk about the boat you came on?”

She says, “It was a freight ship!”

I say, “Isn’t a ship a large boat?”

Then she stops talking to me. Moms are so weird.

Today, I saw photos of those womb-rumbling cutie patooties Maddox and Pax Jolie-Pitt cruising coolly around the canals in a sweet speedboat:

…and all I could think was, “Mom! Boat people are so AWESOME!”

[via Popsugar]

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Filed under: Amazian Jr., Awesomeness, Boat People, Boats, Cool Kids, Cool Photos, Hardass Asian Moms, Maddox Driving, Maddox Jolie-Pitt, Pax Thien, Pride, Refugees, Speedboats, Synonyms, The Almighty Jolie-Pitts, Venice, Vietnam

What Kind Of Mom Is Angelina, REALLY?

In Touch caused quite a stir this week by releasing an exclusive interview with “Bill,” a man who claims to be a former bodyguard for Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. The “ugly truth?” Angie’s apparently a bad mother:

“Bill’s” testimony:

“In my opinion, the real Angelina is self-centered and a control freak. She has no patience at all. She doesn’t do things out of the kindness of her heart. And she’s totally psycho.” While Brad is laid-back and patient with his kids’ often wild behavior, Angelina is anything but. “She screams and yells a lot, then walks away,” Bill says, explaining that Angelina would often “disappear into her suite for hours,” leaving staffers — and Brad — to deal with her children. “She would punish them with silence,” says Bill, adding, “I think she could be abusive at times in a mental way.” If the children were to get upset by her withholding behavior, he says, Angelina didn’t seem to care. “She is not moved by tears,” he explains. Still more disturbing, he recalls, Angelina has a “quirky habit” of “giggling when one of her kids would start crying.”

Hmm. This passage actually makes me feel kinda nostalgic (Mommy? Mommy?)…

Here’s a theory: Perhaps Mama Jolie has just been trying her darndest to be an authentic Hardass Asian Mom for her boys! Has anybody ever stopped to think of that? If this guy speaks the truth*, she’s doing a damn good job of giving Maddox and Pax a slice of home!

*Sorry, “Bill”–I don’t believe this shit for a second.

[In Touch: Exclusive Interview - The Ugly Truth About Angelina Jolie]

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Filed under: "Bill", Adoption, Amazian Jr., Angelina, Angelina Jolie, anonymity, Brad Pitt, Chinese Exclusion Act 1882, Hardass Asian Moms, I Call Bullshit, I Want to be Adopted by Brad and Angelina, In Touch Magazine, Maddox Jolie-Pitt, Mental Abuse, Pax Thien, The Almighty Jolie-Pitts, Yeah Yeah

BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Kate Gosselin

Happy birthday to Kate Gosselin, who turned 35 (yes, only) on Sunday!

Single and, um, loving it...

Kate + 6

[Us: Kate Gosselin Spends 35th Birthday Away From Her Kids]

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Filed under: Addicted To Stardom, Amazian Jr., Dancing With the Stars, Gosselin Kids, Kate Gosselin, Mothers, Munchkins, Neglecting Your Family, Overbearing Mothers, Reality Stars, Reality TV, Sad

Look Who’s Lookin’ Good, Too!

We’re having trouble deciding who’s cuter in this photo: John Cho or his Amazian Jr. son?

2 for 2

Continue reading Look Who’s Lookin’ Good, Too!

Filed under: Adorable-ness X 2, Amazian Jr., Asian Babies, Awwwwwww, Babies, Choices, Cute Overload, Decisions Decisions, John Cho, Procreasian, Progeny

Who Dat Rootin’ For Dem Saints?

"I hate Brett Favre."

It was with heavy heart that I state the obvious: Jen’s and my teams are out of the running for this year’s Super Bowl ring (my freakin’ Steelers, defending champions, didn’t even make it to the postseason).

I can’t speak for my illustrious writing partner, but this year I find myself (for the first time in my life) hoping that an NFC team takes home the big prize (Dear lawd, do not let Continue reading Who Dat Rootin’ For Dem Saints?

Filed under: Amazian Jr., Awesome Football Teams, Brad Pitt, Brett Favre, Drew Brees, Maddox Jolie-Pitt, Minnesota Vikings, New Orleans, New Orleans Saints, NFC, NFL, NFL Postseason, Philip Rivers, Playoffs, Punks, Super Bowl, The Cowboys, The Steelers, Who Dat?

We’d Rather Punch Ourselves In The Neck Than Listen To A Jason Mraz Tune, BUT…

…add a ukulele and a munchkin. We melt. We simply melt.

And we forget all about Mraz’s stupid hats and all of that “Mr. A to Z” garbage.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. OH!!!!! [wombs a-rumble]

[via The Daily What]
Thanks, Jasamine!

Filed under: Adorable-ness, Amazian Jr., Awesome, Cover Songs, Cover Versions, Cute Kids, Cute Things, Instrumentasian, Jason Mraz and his idiotic "Mr. A to Z" Schtick, Jason Mraz And His Stupid Hat, Lame Songs Made Better, Little Guys Who Rock, Ukulele, Ukulele Makes It All Go Away

An Open Letter To Suri, From Maddox

Tot To Trot

“Eat this, Suri Cruise! I’m lookin’ fly on the red carpet! You think you’re so bad in your high heels? My sisters wear ties and hats and exercise pants and maxi dresses. And I am rocking this scarf and chapeau at the ‘Invictus’ premiere better than a veteran director at the Cannes film festival. You’ve been to Cannes, right? Wait–do you speak French yet? I do. I’ll translate: Cannes is French for “WE JOLIE-PITTS ARE SO MUCH COOLER THAN YOU.”

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Filed under: Amazian Jr., Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, Cannes, Children That Dress Like Adults, Cute Kids, Cute-Offs, Famous Offspring, French, Live From the Red Carpet, Maddox Jolie-Pitt, Men In Hats, Our Progeny Are Just Cuter--Deal With It, Precocious Younguns, Suri Cruise High Heels, The Almighty Jolie-Pitts, Throwdowns

File Under: Baby Docs We’ll Watch Over And Over Again Because They’re About Babies

If you haven’t heard, Focus Features will soon bring us Babies, a Thomas Balmès documentary that follows “four babies, in Mongolia, Namibia, San Francisco, and Tokyo, respectively, from birth to first steps.”





Quick question: Can you possibly watch this trailer without blurting out, “I want one in every color?”

More questions, actually: Is it, like, wrong to get totally baked and watch Babies, like watching Planet Earth while going munchy in couchlock? It’s not like the babies in the movie can see you. Or that you have to keep ‘em out of drawers or support their neck or anything.

[Trailer Addict: Babies]
[Film In Focus: Press - Domestic Rights To Unique Documentary Baby(ies) Acquired By Focus Features From Studiocanal]

Thanks, jRu!

Filed under: Amazian Jr., Asian Babies, Awwwwwww, Babies, Babies: The Documentary, Beautiful Babies, Cuteness, Documentaries, Focus Features, Little People, Movie Trailers, Why Didn't Somebody Think Of This Before?, Womb Rumblers

President Obama’s Half-Brother May Be An Opportunist… But He’s Also, Like, Chinese!

Does it make us squirm a little to learn that President Obama’s half-brother has conveniently adopted his father’s last name, just in time to promote his semi-autobiographical book about the dad he shares with our President? Yes.

Mark Obama Ndesandjo, President Obama's half-brother, promoting his new book in China

[AFP: Obama's Half-brother Speaks Of Their Abusive Father]

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Filed under: Amazian Jr., Authors, Conveniently Breaking Silence, Emerging From Obscurity, Half-Brothers, Mark Obama Ndesandjo, Munchkins, Nairobi to Shenzhen, Obamas, President Barack Obama, Savita Ng, The First Family, the President, Uncle, Uncles