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If somebody cuts me off on the freeway, I get hit with a sudden adrenaline rush–racing heart, wild eyes. My tongue gets mean, road rage kicks in, I’m either honking or braking or hitting the gas. After it’s all said and done my heart rate might return to normal, maybe in about fifteen minutes. But for the rest of the drive–if not the day–I’m rarely the same. The incident shocks my core a little bit, and that’s a hard sensation to shake. Don’t trust me with heavy machinery or fine Japanese knives after that. Don’t even hand me the remote control! I’m useless!
So how does barber Heng Song, of Alaska, witness an SUV blowing through the front window of his shop (narrowly missing his cutting station)–and resume his job to completion? (After taking a moment to confirm everyone was safe and the police were being called, of course.)
I HAVE NO IDEA.
Song is one Badass Asian Barber, that’s for sure. And a cooler cuke than I could ever dream to be.
Man, I’m so curious to know how that haircut turned out.
Blame the Sarah Palin Media Blitz (2010 Edition), but the former governor of Alaska is a big ticket item in the news today. And not just because she’s peddling that new book or officially declaring a run for presidency (President Palin? That event would be so cataclysmic and shameful that just posting the words could implode the DISGRASIAN server). Thank goodness.
Instead, mills were a-buzzin’ when Dancing With The Stars judge Carrie Ann Inaba dished with Access Hollywood about meeting Ms. Palin at the Dancing finale:
“I did meet [Sarah] because, you know, my dad loves her,” Carrie Ann told Billy Bush and Kit Hoover, of Bristol’s mom. “So, I went and introduced myself. I was like, ‘My dad loves you, so, I have to say hello.’
“And you know what? She’s so charming!” Carrie Ann laughed. “I was like, ‘Girl crush!’”
The “crush” continued as Carrie Ann noticed a new glow emanating from “The Pistol’s” Mama Grizzly.
“She’s really nice. And I think she spray-tanned for the finale!” Carrie Ann exclaimed. “One of the crew guys came up and he goes, ‘Look at Sarah. Do you think she spray-tanned?’ And I looked at her and I’m like, ‘I think she did!’”
This is important because truth be told, Jen and I have always wondered how Palin maintains her warm and ruddy glow living all the way in gloomy Alaska! Like, totally, Carrie Ann! GIRL CRUSH! La dee dah!
In other news, Sarah Palin was on the Glenn Beck radio show today and, until corrected by Beck’s co-host, sputtered on a bunch of her usual policy nothings while criticizing the current White House stance on North Korea. Continue reading Palin’s Nailin’ It
Filed under: 2012, Alaska, All Those Asian Countries Look Alike, Carrie Ann Inaba, Carrie Ann Inaba 'Girl Crush' On Sarah Palin, Dancing With the Stars, God Help Us, North Korea, Nukes, President Palin--Like How That Sounds?, Sarah Palin, Sarah Palin Is Not Qualified To Be President, Sarah Palin Is Poison, South Korea, Spray-Tan, Third World War
Apparently, 5 million people watched the premiere of Sarah Palin’s 8-part reality series, her Alaska, last night.
I was one of them. Miraculously, I held down my vomit through every stinking minute of the TLC hour, mostly because I was hoping that Alaska’s former governor would get eaten by a bear (although I certainly would have settled for her falling off of a mountainside). She didn’t. But there are seven more episodes to go, so here’s hoping.
If you compare this pilot to other recent television hours, like Matt Lauer’s recent interview with the fact-slalom king, George W. Bush, then heck, the content wasn’t at all that infuriating. After all, one could maybe accept Alaska as simply a cloying, stagey, poorly-produced celebreality show (Really, Mark Burnett? You built how many scenes off of one blurred Joe McGinniss cutaway? Tsk!) along the lines of Keeping Up With The Kardashians (except the young, unmarried, unqualified new mom in this show isn’t old enough to drink yet). One could celebrate the soaring music cues, red-white-and-blue lower thirds and Christian-rock theme song of the show as just what the Middle American doctor ordered. One could argue that the vast mountain landscapes, endless skies, and extreme animal closeups legitimize this “travelogue,” excusing Palin’s thinly-if-at-all-veiled political rhetoric–sprinkled throughout each story beat–because she, like a Ken Burns that can’t pronounce “feel,” is just givin’ a much needed voice to the under-appreciated state she loves so darn much.
You could. But you’d be lying, just like anyone who defends the show as “completely non-political.”
Sarah Palin’s Alaska marks an American low, a political low, and HOLY CRAP a reality show low (which I wasn’t sure even existed). I really, REALLY hope there’s a hungry bear in episode two.
Filed under: Alaska, Ken Burns, Mark Burnett, Non-Political? Seriously?, Reality TV, Right Wing Nutjobs, Sarah Palin, Sarah Palin Is Poison, Sarah Palin's Alaska, Sarah Palin's Alaska Debuts To 5 Million Stupid Viewers, Shows That Liken A Shitty Yard Fence To Guarding Our Nation's Borders, Subversive Campaigning, The CW Blows, Thinly-veiled rhetoric, TLC, Vomit
A young Sarah Palin’s reason for spending only one semester at the Hawaii Pacific University is under debate after The New Yorker’s Sam Tanhauser revealed this gem of info in a comparison of Palin’s autobiography, Going Rogue: An American Life, and Scott Conroy and Shushannah Walshe’s career examination, Sarah From Alaska:
She is equally circumspect on the issue of ethnicity, pointing out that Todd, whom she met in high school, is “part Yupik Eskimo” and opened her to the “social diversity” of Alaska. (Wasilla is more than eighty per cent white.)Palin, though notoriously ill-travelled outside the United States, did journey far to the first of the four colleges she attended, in Hawaii. She and a friend who went with her lasted only one semester. “Hawaii was a little too perfect,” Palin writes. “Perpetual sunshine isn’t necessarily conducive to serious academics for eighteen-year-old Alaska girls.” Perhaps not. But Palin’s father, Chuck Heath, gave a different account to Conroy and Walshe. According to him, the presence of so many Asians and Pacific Islanders made her uncomfortable: “They were a minority type thing and it wasn’t glamorous, so she came home.” In any case, Palin reports that she much preferred her last stop, the University of Idaho, “because it was much like Alaska yet still ‘Outside.’ ”
Filed under: Alaska, Autobiographies, Chuck Heath, Conroy and Walshe, Discomfort, Going Rogue, Hawaii, Hawaii Isn't Glamorous? And Idaho Is??, Idiots, Minority "Things", New Yorker, Pacific Islanders, Sarah From Alaska, Sarah Palin, Sarah Palin Father, Sarah Palin Uncomfortable, Too Many Smart People, Toxic Humans
Sarah Palin FINALLY stepped down as Alaska governor Sunday, but not before she got in one last dig at the media that has, ah, loved her so.
“So how about in honor of the American soldier,” she said, “you quit making up things.“