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On this Valentine’s Day, we ponder the question: What’s the best way to say “I love you”?
(Not microwaves, obviously.)
Fuck that! This is the real way you show your significant other you’re in it for the long haul:
Filed under: Adoption, Adoption is the New Black, Asian Adoptees, Asian Babies, Asian babies are the cutest, Brangelina, Commitment, Diamonds Are Forever But Asian Babies Are Cuter, I Love Yous Are For White People Who Want to Adopt Asian Babies, Our Progeny Are Just Cuter--Deal With It, People as Accessories, Valentine's Day
Kate Middleton and Olivia Munn – separated at birth? Or do all hot brunettes just look alike? [TMZ]
The monologue of last night’s Conan went out the window when Coco became transfixed by a totally adorable (26-year-old) Asian Harry Potter fan. [TBS]
Dan Choi took to Twitter to call Barack Obama “the worst POTUS in #LGBT history.” [Joe My God]
Meanwhile, Kal Penn is back to work at the White House with the POTUS after filming A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas, likely bearing the best bag of munchies EVAR. [ABC News]
Fei Lam made $130,000 for selling the parts to make a white iPhone, aka the Moby Dick of smartphones. [Gawker]
If Kate Gosselin re-packs her kids’ uneaten school lunches the next day (waste not, want not!), does that make her a Hardass Asian Mama or just lazy? [MSNBC]
Privy helps you casually copy the dining habits of your favorite Asian celebs. “Oh yah, Kelly Hu and I dine here all the time.” [Privy.net]
This sad story of a six-year-old AIDS orphan living alone in China has a happy ending – he’s being adopted! [China Smack]
Baby panda! Baby panda! Baby panda! [Zoo Atlanta]
Filed under: Adoption, AIDS orphan A-Long, baby panda, Conan O'Brien, DADT, Dan Choi, Dianne Feinstein, DREAM Act, Fei Lam, Harry Potter, Intern Jasmine's Links of the Daysian, Kal Penn, Kalpen Modi, Kate Gosslin, Kate Middleton, Olivia Munn, Privy, Separated at Birth!, Steve Li, Twitter, white iPhone, Zoo Atlanta
A baby born on a Gulf Air flight from Bahrain to Manila who was found alive in an airplane trash bag Sunday “may be” up for adoption if authorities can’t track down his mother or declare the woman unfit, the AP reports.
The six-pound, nine-ounce baby boy, named George Francis after the plane’s flight code GF, is doing well, despite only being discovered when an airport security officer noticed something moving in one of the trash bags being removed from the plane. Inside the bag, baby George was covered in blood and tissue paper and still attached to the placenta. He was taken immediately to an airport clinic, where he was cleaned, clothed, and fed. Airport nurse Kate Calvo said, “After he was cleaned, he let off a soft cry.” Philippines Social Welfare Secretary Corazon Soliman told the AP the baby looks Filipino. (Also, judging by the picture above, totally adorbs with a gorgeous shock of hair.)
I’m no expert, but let’s assume that a woman who’d throw her baby away in the trash is unfit to parent and get George Francis adopted already, shall we? After enduring his first moments of life in the rubbish heap and being left to die, this kid deserves The World’s Most Awesomest Parents. He needs parents who are going to embarrass him with hugs and kisses. He needs parents who’ll spoil him with too many toys, carry him when he’s way too old to be carried, and let him sleep in their bed when he’s scared. He needs parents who’ll always be there for him and take him wherever they go.
Basically, he needs these people:
Filed under: Adoption, Baby Born on Plane Discovered in Trash Bag, Baby George Francis, Bahrain, Brangelina, Gulf Air Baby, I Want to be Adopted by Brad and Angelina, Philippines Baby Discovered in Airplane Trash, the Philippines, Unfit Mothers
In Touch caused quite a stir this week by releasing an exclusive interview with “Bill,” a man who claims to be a former bodyguard for Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. The “ugly truth?” Angie’s apparently a bad mother:
“In my opinion, the real Angelina is self-centered and a control freak. She has no patience at all. She doesn’t do things out of the kindness of her heart. And she’s totally psycho.” While Brad is laid-back and patient with his kids’ often wild behavior, Angelina is anything but. “She screams and yells a lot, then walks away,” Bill says, explaining that Angelina would often “disappear into her suite for hours,” leaving staffers — and Brad — to deal with her children. “She would punish them with silence,” says Bill, adding, “I think she could be abusive at times in a mental way.” If the children were to get upset by her withholding behavior, he says, Angelina didn’t seem to care. “She is not moved by tears,” he explains. Still more disturbing, he recalls, Angelina has a “quirky habit” of “giggling when one of her kids would start crying.”
Hmm. This passage actually makes me feel kinda nostalgic (Mommy? Mommy?)…
Here’s a theory: Perhaps Mama Jolie has just been trying her darndest to be an authentic Hardass Asian Mom for her boys! Has anybody ever stopped to think of that? If this guy speaks the truth*, she’s doing a damn good job of giving Maddox and Pax a slice of home!
*Sorry, “Bill”–I don’t believe this shit for a second.
Filed under: "Bill", Adoption, Amazian Jr., Angelina, Angelina Jolie, anonymity, Brad Pitt, Chinese Exclusion Act 1882, Hardass Asian Moms, I Call Bullshit, I Want to be Adopted by Brad and Angelina, In Touch Magazine, Maddox Jolie-Pitt, Mental Abuse, Pax Thien, The Almighty Jolie-Pitts, Yeah Yeah
This week, Katherine Heigl revealed to Entertainment Weekly that she’s leaving Grey’s Anatomy with 18 months left on her contract in order to spend more time with her family, husband Josh Kelley and recently-adopted daughter from Korea, Naleigh.
Do you believe her?
I don’t buy it. Here’s why:
Filed under: Adoptees, Adoption, Asian Babies, Family, Grey's Anatomy, Hollywood Adoptions, Josh Kelley, Katherine Heigl, Katherine Heigl Adopted Baby, Katherine Heigl Daughter, Korean Adoptees, Naleigh Kelley, Our Progeny Are Just Cuter--Deal With It
We talk about our Hardass Asian Parents a lot, and the ways in which they, um,
pushed us to succeed molded us into perfectionists put us into therapy for life raised us, but the truth is, you don’t have to be Asian to be a Hardass Asian Parent. Take, for example, Ben Morrison.
Morrison, a web developer, created an iPhone app called Langu, because he and his wife adopted a daughter from Taiwan, and they wanted her to grow up fluent in both Mandarin and English. Cute, right?
But wait. There’s more. In addition to the app, Morrison told Wired‘s GeekDad that he also uses these tools to help his daughter learn what would’ve been her native tongue:
We do our best to expose her to many different channels of learning the language, like Mandarin immersion preschool, Chinese picture books, even bootleg “Dora the Explorer” translated into Chinese.
Mandarin immersion preschool AND Chinese picture books AND bootleg “Dora the Explorer” videos translated into Chinese AND you write your own iPhone language app for toddlers that features a “Quiz” mode?!
Not content to sit on his laurels (or let his daughter sit on hers, either), Morrison has other educational iPhone apps in the works:
I’ve been kicking around some ideas for other iPhone apps, most of them center around something I want Violet to learn… probably reading or math next. And of course, if Langu’s well received, I’d like to make more versions… I’d want to tackle Arabic or Hindi next—I like typography, and am easily excited by non-Latin characters.
Good lord, this guy makes my own Hardass Asian Dad, who used to make me go to Chinese school occasionally, do math workbooks over summer vacation, and write up reports on what I’d read in Scientific American, look downright soft.
Hardass Parents of All Stripes: The Langu Mandarin iPhone app is available here.
Last week Katherine Heigl announced that she was adopting a special-needs baby from Korea, where Heigl’s older sister was also adopted. When I speculated that this might make Heigl less annoying-seeming, most of y’all were, like, “Hellz to the naw” and “Haaaaaaaaaaaaaate herrr.”
Heigl released photos Thursday of baby Naleigh (a nickname for Nancy Leigh, after Heigl’s mother Nancy and Heigl’s adopted sister Margaret “Meg” Leigh) on her foundation website. Can you look at these pics and honestly say you still hate her?
Damn, y’all are cold. Colder than us even!
Though the story broke in a barely-reliable “news” source, it took milliseconds for people to respond in shock and horror to British tab News of the World‘s claim that 9-year-old Slumdog Millionaire star Rubina Ali was being peddled for adoption by her father.
Let’s just say the odds were stacked against Ali’s father, Rafiq Qureshi: Ali’s biological mother publicly praised the paper for releasing the story, even duking it out over the matter with Qureshi’s wife (and Ali’s stepmother) in the streets. And people have been naturally suspect of the Slumdog showbiz dad after his name first emerged, amidst controversy–after the film was a raging success, he felt his daughter should have been paid more (despite the fact that filmmakers arranged the Jai Ho Trust to provide the young actors and their families with education and housing needs).
While speaking to CNN with the young Ali, Qureshi did in fact admit to meeting with a wealthy Dubai couple (who turned out to be News of the World journalists), with the rather dubious caveat that he actually never intended to accept money for his daughter, and that he was misunderstood because of his poor English.
“’I talked to them in the room,’ Ali told CNN of the meeting, conducted by undercover News of the World journalists. ‘My dad said I could meet people if I want to, ‘But I will never give my daughter away for any amount of money.’”
But here’s the rub: although the undercover reporters argue that they have seven hours of taped evidence showing Qureshi and his brother negotiating the sale, the video has no sound. And this week, Mumbai police dropped their investigation of the father, citing a lack of evidence. So perhaps Qureshi didn’t attempt this terrible thing, and maybe he did. As is often the case, the truth is difficult to discern amidst the chaos.
All we can say is that we feel deeply for poor Rubina, who really just can’t seem to catch a break. And to anyone who’s actually thinking about it, might we suggest following PETA’s advice (not something we’d often do), merely applying it to adorable, talented, potentially-up-for-grabs children:
Filed under: Adoption, Chaos, India, Jai Ho Trust, Mumbai, News of the World, PETA, Poor Kid, Rafiq Qureshi, Rubina Ali, rumors, Selling Children, Showbiz Moms and Dads, Slumdog Millionaire, Tabloids, The Truth
Listen, I’ll admit it. Every time I look at Angelina with her brood of cutest children ever, my uterus starts to quake a little. And I’m not really into kids, quite frankly–they seem way too easy to break, and they always need to be fed Cheerios or mac ‘n cheez, and they always ask questions like “Why? But why? But why? But why?”–and once they’re three, they’re only a decade away from being a teenager with a cell phone/belly ring/penchant for HATING YOU. Blegh.
But look at those little elbow patches on Pax! How can they be ignored? Just one glance at his soft little nose and Zahara’s cute lips and Maddox’s furrowed brow makes me want to start collecting children like Limoges boxes. I think it happens to us all, and I simply can’t fault us for it.
But sometimes these things take a downhill spiral. Take Lindsay Lohan, for instance, who recently told Marie Claire, “At some point … I want to adopt a kid … A child in need or a newborn from another country. I’m not sure yet.”
Um, BAD IDEA. HUGELY BAD IDEA. At the very least, I must warn all the little baby orphans in y’know, like, other countries–at least Vietnam–to cover their heads and RUN. By all assumptions, Lohan could be casting a very wide net.
Hails from: Oxnard, CA
Occupation: NFL outside linebacker
Known for: Being culturally hapa (adoptive father Rod Fujita is third-generasian Japanese-American) but biologically Caucasian; bowing after making spectacular defensive plays; being called the “Asian Assassin”; revering his grandmother Lillie, who gave birth to Scott’s father while interned in Arizona during WWII; helping to secure a Saints win yesterday in their season opener against Tampa Bay, 24-20, with a 4th quarter-interception; giving the people of New Orleans–who’ve just returned to the city after fleeing Gustav–something to look forward to for a change.
Victoria Jacoby is an 11 year-old American girl adopted from China. But there’s clearly something of the home country still left in her, um, bones. Her audition for America’s Got Talent aired last week and impressed the judges enough to send her on to the next round:
I can’t explain why I feel like puking after seeing that. I just do.
I just learned about the “Going Home Barbie,” a Mattel-produced doll that is not for sale and only available to guests at the White Swan Hotel in Guangzhou who are in China to adopt a child.
White picket fence? Check. Giant swarming butterflies? Check. Happy clouds without a hint of rain? Check. Itchy lurex sweater? Check. Scary polyester psychedelic pants? Check. Creepola dead-in-the-eyes expression? Affirmative!
Run, little Chinese baby, run!