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AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Mao Asada Gets Her Day

March 29th, 2010 | 5 comments | Posted by Jen

Ice Queens: First Loser Kim Yu-Na and Winner Mao Asada at the 2010 World Figure Skating Championship in Turin, Italy

Name: Mao Asada

Age: 19

Hails from: Japan

Occupation: Figure skater

Known for: Playing second-fiddle to Queen Yu-Na at this year’s Winter Olympics; looking woefully sad on the medal podium while collecting her silver; inspiring some crazy nationalism between Japan and Korea; being the first woman to land two triple-axels in the same program back in 2006; finally getting redemption a month after the Olympics at the World Championships by beating Yu-Na, who fell on a triple salchow during her free skate.

So the rivalry between Yu-Na and Mao? Yeah, it’s ON. Like Ali-Frazier, but with sequins and spangles and a shit-ton of makeup.

Meanwhile, you gotta love the headlines from some of the Korean news outlets, which aren’t reporting Mao’s triumph so much as Yu-Na’s failure. From the Korea Times: “Yu-Na Fails to Defend Title.” And from Chosun Ilbo: “Kim Yu-Na Loses World Title in Turin.”

Ouch!

[SF Chronicle: Japan's Asada tops rival Kim to capture world skating title]

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For A Good Time, Don’t Call Scotty Lago

March 2nd, 2010 | 16 comments | Posted by Diana


Snowboarder Scotty Lago went on Jimmy Kimmel this week to clear the air about those darned racy photos that got him kicked out of the Vancouver Olympics festivities before the closing ceremony.

Medal groupie!? In the interview, Lago says fellow Olympian Michael Phelps recognized the girl from the photos as someone who once posed as a reporter and tried to make out with him. Read: it was that skank’s fault.

Hunh. Lago’s story smacks of one that some cheesedick would tell in a locker room to all of his pimply-faced buddies, trashing the poor girl he convinced to blow him the night before. “Oh yeah, she was gagging for it!”

Continue reading For A Good Time, Don’t Call Scotty Lago

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HONORASIAN ALERT: Joannie Rochette

February 26th, 2010 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen

Thursday night, were there two Asians on the women’s figure skating medal podium…or three?

There was gold medal winner Kim Yu-na of South Korea, who skated perfectly, set a new scoring record, and was, according to the NY Times, “taken aback by her own crying” at the end of her performance; and there was silver medal winner Mao Asada of Japan, who failed to nail two of her jumps, looked stoically sad about being the first loser during the medal ceremony, and later described herself as “regretful”…and then there was Canada’s Joannie Rochette, who stayed in the competition and won the bronze only four days after her mother’s sudden death from a heart attack, who, after the competition, recounted how her mother was sometimes her biggest critic, how when Joannie would score a 98 on a test, she’d wonder, “What about those other two points?”

So let’s see…

We had perfection and an unexpected display of emotion, stoicism and regret, and memories of a Hardass Mama willing her child to succeed?

Sounds like an Asian sweep to me!

[CNN: Rochette earns bronze, thanks her late mother]

Source

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An Olympic Medal By Default Would Smell As Sweet

February 25th, 2010 | 1 comment | Posted by Diana

In the nail-biter Final of the women’s 3,000-meter speed skate relay last night, the South Korean anchor whizzed across the finish line in gold medal position–with Chinese rivals scowling at their tail, Canada scrambling just behind, and the U.S. over a half-lap away.

Minutes later, South Korea got disqualified for this bump, which happened during the last turn:

A little bump 'n' grind

And with the leaders out, et voilà, the lagging U.S. team instantly became a team of bronze medalists.

Luck be four ladies tonight!

Continue reading An Olympic Medal By Default Would Smell As Sweet

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Apolo Anton Oh-face

February 24th, 2010 | 3 comments | Posted by Jen

I realize this ad featuring AOTW Apolo Ohno is supposed to be selling you on that nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever, so you can rest medicine-induced sleep coma Nyquil is so famous for…

But all I see is a serious case of O-Face. You know what I’m talkin’ about…Oh!

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BABEWATCH: Miho Takagi

February 23rd, 2010 | 7 comments | Posted by Diana


Name: Miho Takagi

Age: 15 (please don’t perv out, pervs)

Occupation: Student, Olympic speed skater

Hails from: Japan

Why She’s A Babe: Though she hasn’t medaled in these Olympic games, Takagi catches our eye every time she’s on the ice. With a baby-sweet grin, bitchin’ lean muscles, and cute-as-hell pixie bob haircut, she always manages to look both athletic, slick and chic–even in a gold lamé racing suit.

And about that uniform… many netizens saw published practice photos of the teen and gleefully pointed out that her suit revealed a dainty G-string, but it turned out the Continue reading BABEWATCH: Miho Takagi

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Leave The Creepy Russian Ice Dancers Alone!

February 22nd, 2010 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Last night, controversial Russian Ice Dancers Oksana Domnina and Maxim Shabalin revealed their toned-down Aboriginal-themed costumes during the free skate performance that brought them to a current bronze medal position.

What a difference a few leaves make

Hmm. We’re still searching for the “interesting,” “respectful” and “Southeast Asian” nuances that this team keeps referring to regarding their costumes. Surely all of that “big research” they did to keep the performance authentic paid off somewhere.

Give us a few minutes days months years. This may take awhile.

[NBC Olympics: Russian Dancers Make Slight Changes To Costumes]

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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Mo Tae-Bum

February 18th, 2010 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

When I turned 21, I received a wealth of gifts. They included:


  • sixer of Smirnoff ice
  • knockoff version of Barbie’s little sister, Skipper
  • 3 “Your first time coming here legally?? It’s on the muzzafuzzin’ house!!!” shots seeminly comprised of sugar and scope
  • my first DVD porn
  • 13 unidentified flying cocktails
  • framed photo of me with a bunch of swell college chicks in dresses holding up cocktails
  • hickey
  • hangover

SIMILARLY, on Korean Olympic speed skater’s Mo Tae-Bum’s 21st birthday (February 15), he received…

Continue reading BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Mo Tae-Bum

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Huh? Meredith Vieira Calls Kristi Yamaguchi A “Hoochie”

February 16th, 2010 | 17 comments | Posted by Jen


Dear Meredith Vieira,

Kristi Yamaguchi is a lot of things. An Olympic gold medalist. A mother. The season 6 winner of perhaps the most squeaky-clean show on television this side of Lawrence Welk, Dancing With the Stars. The daughter of a dentist. She is, at once, both a paragon of achievement and of normalcy, which makes her, like, super-Asian. That is why, to many of us, Kristi Yamaguchi is something of a national treasure.

She is not, however, by any stretch of the imagination, a “hoochie.” As interesting as it might be to think of Kristi having some secret life as a slutty hot mess, that skate just doesn’t fit. That’s like calling you, I dunno, a “hard-hitting reporter”?

Peace Out,
Jen

[via The Daily Beast]

Thanks, Jasmine and Maeko!

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AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! J.R. Celski

February 15th, 2010 | 8 comments | Posted by Jen


Name: J.R. Celski

Age: 19

Ethnicity: Filipino and Polish

Hails from: Federal Way, WA

Occupation: Olympic short-track speed skater

Known for: Making an astonishing comeback at the 2010 Winter Games by winning bronze in the 1500, after crashing at the Olympic Trials five months before, cutting open his left leg to the bone with his skate, and missing his femoral artery by one inch. Having a Hardass Asian Mama who believed in him, who raced out onto the ice after his accident and told him when he thought his Olympic Dream was over: “No, it’s not over, J.R. You’re going to be fine.” Becoming the sport’s heir apparent to Apolo Anton Ohno, who took silver in the 1500 to tie Bonnie Blair’s record of most medals won (six) at a Winter Olympics.

On that note…

Continue reading AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! J.R. Celski

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