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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Mirai Nagasu

April 15th, 2010 | 3 comments | Posted by Jen

Happy birthday to Mirai Nagasu, who turns 17 tomorrow!

There really isn’t anything we don’t love about the figure skater, who placed fourth at the Winter Games. We love that she’s from our neck of the woods (SGV, Holla!). We love her face, her crazy-high cheekbones and the way her eyes crinkle when she smiles, which she does a lot. We love how devoted Mirai is to her mama, who’s been battling thyroid cancer. (Of her mother’s prognosis, she’s said, “They say there’s an 80 percent chance of her being cured. But that 20 percent is still something to think about. It’s like getting a B on a test. It’s good but not the best.” We love that, too, OBVS.) And we love that she’s accomplished so much at such a tender age.

Waitaminute. No we don’t.

Because going to your first Olympics, and–despite the naysayers (ahem, Sasha “Bitter Much” Cohen) and the nonstop Queen Yu-Na hype–performing quite beautifully while presenting yourself as the future of figure skating at SIXTEEN when you should be, like, getting wasted on Captain Morgan’s Rum outside a suburban 7-11 or having your thumbs fall off because you’re texting your stupid friends all day long…well, that just makes the rest of us who are much older, much less Olympic, and much more dependent on alcohol look really really baaaaaaaaad.

So maybe there’s one thing we don’t love about Mirai Nagasu. If she were just a little less perfect, she’d be um what’s the word oh right…perfect.

Would you consider working on that in your 17th year, Mirai?

In the meantime, happy birthday, you adorable little showoff!

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AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Mao Asada Gets Her Day

March 29th, 2010 | 5 comments | Posted by Jen

Ice Queens: First Loser Kim Yu-Na and Winner Mao Asada at the 2010 World Figure Skating Championship in Turin, Italy

Name: Mao Asada

Age: 19

Hails from: Japan

Occupation: Figure skater

Known for: Playing second-fiddle to Queen Yu-Na at this year’s Winter Olympics; looking woefully sad on the medal podium while collecting her silver; inspiring some crazy nationalism between Japan and Korea; being the first woman to land two triple-axels in the same program back in 2006; finally getting redemption a month after the Olympics at the World Championships by beating Yu-Na, who fell on a triple salchow during her free skate.

So the rivalry between Yu-Na and Mao? Yeah, it’s ON. Like Ali-Frazier, but with sequins and spangles and a shit-ton of makeup.

Meanwhile, you gotta love the headlines from some of the Korean news outlets, which aren’t reporting Mao’s triumph so much as Yu-Na’s failure. From the Korea Times: “Yu-Na Fails to Defend Title.” And from Chosun Ilbo: “Kim Yu-Na Loses World Title in Turin.”

Ouch!

[SF Chronicle: Japan's Asada tops rival Kim to capture world skating title]

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For A Good Time, Don’t Call Scotty Lago

March 2nd, 2010 | 16 comments | Posted by Diana


Snowboarder Scotty Lago went on Jimmy Kimmel this week to clear the air about those darned racy photos that got him kicked out of the Vancouver Olympics festivities before the closing ceremony.

Medal groupie!? In the interview, Lago says fellow Olympian Michael Phelps recognized the girl from the photos as someone who once posed as a reporter and tried to make out with him. Read: it was that skank’s fault.

Hunh. Lago’s story smacks of one that some cheesedick would tell in a locker room to all of his pimply-faced buddies, trashing the poor girl he convinced to blow him the night before. “Oh yeah, she was gagging for it!”

Continue reading For A Good Time, Don’t Call Scotty Lago

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AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Apolo Anton “What Seven Medals?” Ohno

February 22nd, 2010 | 2 comments | Posted by Diana


Name:

Age: 27

Hails from: Seattle, WA

Occupation: Olympic short-track speed skater

Known for: Championship bling. After winning his seventh Olympic medal on Saturday night, becoming the most decorated American Winter Olympic athlete of all time. Proving that the time-tested technique of Hardass Asian Parenting, via single father Yuki, can pay off in spades. Showcasing excellent hip control. Somehow being extremely hot despite a chronic case of chin pubes.

Apolo’s name was derived from the Greek words “Ap,” (“steer away from”) and “lo,” Continue reading AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Apolo Anton “What Seven Medals?” Ohno

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Heavy Stuff: DQ’d From The Olympics

February 17th, 2010 | 18 comments | Posted by Diana

Aya Yasuda, a Japanese athlete at her first Olympics, was disqualified on Monday from the Women’s Luge competition in Vancouver.





No, she didn’t get busted for juicing. And she wasn’t lying about her gender. She didn’t screw an Olympic judge. She didn’t put a hit on any of her opponents.

But she did accidentally bring too much weight with her to the Games.

Lemme ‘splain. From Yahoo! Sports:

“Yasuda, who tips the scales at a slender 60 kg (132 lbs), miscalculated the additional weight lugers are allowed to carry as ballast and failed the compulsory weigh-in after her first run at the Whistler Sliding Centre.

‘During a weight check at the finish of run one the athlete’s additional weight exceeded the maximum allowed which was 13.1 kilos,” race organisers said. “Her actual weight was 13.3 kilos.’”


Athletic disqualifiquasians don’t often shock me, but darn it all–this one does. I mean, an Asian busted for bad math? That’s like, UNTHINKABLE!

[Yahoo! Sports: Japan's Slender Slider Has Weighty Problem]

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