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There really isn’t anything we don’t love about the figure skater, who placed fourth at the Winter Games. We love that she’s from our neck of the woods (SGV, Holla!). We love her face, her crazy-high cheekbones and the way her eyes crinkle when she smiles, which she does a lot. We love how devoted Mirai is to her mama, who’s been battling thyroid cancer. (Of her mother’s prognosis, she’s said, “They say there’s an 80 percent chance of her being cured. But that 20 percent is still something to think about. It’s like getting a B on a test. It’s good but not the best.” We love that, too, OBVS.) And we love that she’s accomplished so much at such a tender age.
Waitaminute. No we don’t.
Because going to your first Olympics, and–despite the naysayers (ahem, Sasha “Bitter Much” Cohen) and the nonstop Queen Yu-Na hype–performing quite beautifully while presenting yourself as the future of figure skating at SIXTEEN when you should be, like, getting wasted on Captain Morgan’s Rum outside a suburban 7-11 or having your thumbs fall off because you’re texting your stupid friends all day long…well, that just makes the rest of us who are much older, much less Olympic, and much more dependent on alcohol look really really baaaaaaaaad.
So maybe there’s one thing we don’t love about Mirai Nagasu. If she were just a little less perfect, she’d be um what’s the word oh right…perfect.
Would you consider working on that in your 17th year, Mirai?
In the meantime, happy birthday, you adorable little showoff!
Filed under: 2010 Olympics, Adorableness On Skates, Arcadia CA, Birthdays, Californiasians, Figure Skaters, Gifted Teens, Ice Skating, Mirai Nagasu, Olympians, Overachievers, People Who Make Us Look Bad, San Gabriel Valley, Teenage Olympians, Teens, the Olympics, Vancouver Winter Olympics, Winter Olympics
Name: Mao Asada
Hails from: Japan
Occupation: Figure skater
Known for: Playing second-fiddle to Queen Yu-Na at this year’s Winter Olympics; looking woefully sad on the medal podium while collecting her silver; inspiring some crazy nationalism between Japan and Korea; being the first woman to land two triple-axels in the same program back in 2006; finally getting redemption a month after the Olympics at the World Championships by beating Yu-Na, who fell on a triple salchow during her free skate.
So the rivalry between Yu-Na and Mao? Yeah, it’s ON. Like Ali-Frazier, but with sequins and spangles and a shit-ton of makeup.
Meanwhile, you gotta love the headlines from some of the Korean news outlets, which aren’t reporting Mao’s triumph so much as Yu-Na’s failure. From the Korea Times: “Yu-Na Fails to Defend Title.” And from Chosun Ilbo: “Kim Yu-Na Loses World Title in Turin.”
Filed under: 2010 Figure Skating World Championships, 2010 Olympics, 2010 Winter Olympics, Amazians, Bitchfights, Figure Skating, Ice Queens, Ice Skating, Japan vs. Korea, Kim Yu-na, Mao Asada, Nationalism, Queen Yu-na, Rivalries
Snowboarder Scotty Lago went on Jimmy Kimmel this week to clear the air about those darned racy photos that got him kicked out of the Vancouver Olympics festivities before the closing ceremony.
Medal groupie!? In the interview, Lago says fellow Olympian Michael Phelps recognized the girl from the photos as someone who once posed as a reporter and tried to make out with him. Read: it was that skank’s fault.
Hunh. Lago’s story smacks of one that some cheesedick would tell in a locker room to all of his pimply-faced buddies, trashing the poor girl he convinced to blow him the night before. “Oh yeah, she was gagging for it!”
Filed under: 2010 Olympics, 2010 Winter Olympics, Air BJ, Blowjobs, Gagging For It, Jimmy Kimmel, Medal Groupie, Michael Phelps, Olympians, Scotty Lago, Scotty Lago On Jimmy Kimmel, Scotty Lago Racy Photos, Talking Shit, the Olympics, Trash Talk, Vancouver Olympics, Vancouver Winter Olympics
Hails from: Seattle, WA
Occupation: Olympic short-track speed skater
Known for: Championship bling. After winning his seventh Olympic medal on Saturday night, becoming the most decorated American Winter Olympic athlete of all time. Proving that the time-tested technique of Hardass Asian Parenting, via single father Yuki, can pay off in spades. Showcasing excellent hip control. Somehow being extremely hot despite a chronic case of chin pubes.
Apolo’s name was derived from the Greek words “Ap,” (“steer away from”) and “lo,” Continue reading AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Apolo Anton “What Seven Medals?” Ohno
Filed under: 2010 Olympics, 7 Olympic Medals, Apolo Anton Ohno, Apolo Anton Ohno Most Decorated Winter Olympian, Asians and Speed Skating, Awesomeness, Champions, Chin Pubes, Dancing With the Stars, Everybody Loves a Winner, Excellence, Hardass Asian Dads, Hardass Asian Parenting, Olympians, Seattle, Seven Olympic Medals, Speed Skating, the Olympics, Vancouver Olympics, Vancouver Winter Olympics, Winter Olympics, Yuki Ohno
Aya Yasuda, a Japanese athlete at her first Olympics, was disqualified on Monday from the Women’s Luge competition in Vancouver.
No, she didn’t get busted for juicing. And she wasn’t lying about her gender. She didn’t screw an Olympic judge. She didn’t put a hit on any of her opponents.
But she did accidentally bring too much weight with her to the Games.
Lemme ‘splain. From Yahoo! Sports:
“Yasuda, who tips the scales at a slender 60 kg (132 lbs), miscalculated the additional weight lugers are allowed to carry as ballast and failed the compulsory weigh-in after her first run at the Whistler Sliding Centre.
‘During a weight check at the finish of run one the athlete’s additional weight exceeded the maximum allowed which was 13.1 kilos,” race organisers said. “Her actual weight was 13.3 kilos.’”
Athletic disqualifiquasians don’t often shock me, but darn it all–this one does. I mean, an Asian busted for bad math? That’s like, UNTHINKABLE!
Filed under: 2010 Olympics, Aya Yasuda, Disqualificasian is Sucky, Female Athletes, Japan, Japanese Athletes, Japanese Luger Disqualified From Olympics, Luge, Math is Hard, the Olympics, Winter Olympics, Women's Luge