Dictionary

AMAZIAN –

Amazin’ Asian.

ANTI-ASIAN –

n. An Asian who’s aging well.  adj. Delaying or lessening the effects of aging by about 10 years, especially on the skin: an anti-asian cream.

Asiandroid –

Asian robot. Example: Julie Chen.

Blasian –

Black Asian. And badass.

CHINYSTERIA –

The alarmist fear that China is our new enemy and wants to poison our food, eat our dogs, take over the country and force us all to speak Ching-Chong.

Dental Disgrasian –

Disgraceful person with f-ed up, toothy teeth.

Discrazian –

Shameful member of the tribe who is also crazy.

DISGAYSIAN –

Shameful member of the tribe who also happens to be gay.

DISGRASIANMOBILES –

The Honda Element and the Toyota Scion; souped-up Acuras; a brand spankin’-new Infiniti.

EMANCIPASIAN –

Freedom.

EXPLOITASIAN –

Yellow exploitation.

FASHISM –

The oppressive, unassailable ideas handed down by the Fashion world.

GAYSIAN –

Fun.

GONGBANG –

An assault on the ears of gonging sounds that occurs in movies and television whenever someone or something Asian appears on screen. Example, Long Duk Dong in Sixteen Candles.

HARDASS ASIAN PARENTS –

Our mothers and fathers, whom we, despite our achievements and senses of familial duty, are usually disappointing.

HONORASIAN –

Honorary one of us.

KA-CHING CHONG –

Foreign language spoken by business-minded people who see dollar signs in the place of one billion slanty-eyes.

Lifestyle Asiaphile –

A person who fetishizes Asian dress, food, religion, and/or culture, often to the detriment of his/her own health and that of others. Example: Jeremy Piven.

MALAPROPASIAN –

Asian who uses sucky speech, or sucky speech used by Asians.

MISTASIAN IDENTITY –

Mistaking one of us for another; a result of believing that we all look alike.

Muslasian –

Muslim Asian.

Mutasian –

A recurring archetype in movies and television who does not have speaking lines. Also known as an Ornamental.

Nipple Slipple –

Peek-a-Boobie!!!

Nuddhism –

Religion practiced by Far Eastern nudists.

Panda-ring –

Pandering to our people.

Race Hustlers –

Michelle Malkin’s pet name for us!

Racial Dilettante –

A person who dabbles in the affect of another race or races (see Racial Drag), particularly when that race is “IN.”

Racial Drag –

Accoutrement and/or affect donned by one race to mimic another. Example: when a white girl wears chopsticks in her hair.

RICISM –

Racism against, among, and for rice eaters.

Samurite –

White Samurai who is typically the only person on Earth capable of saving innocent Japanese villagers from evil warlords and marauders.

Uncle Tam –

Yellow Uncle Tom.

Yellowface –

When a non-yellow person wears geisha make-up or slanty eyeliner while speaking mangled English. See also, Racial Drag.

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Cheaters (Jesse James, et al.)

March 19th, 2010 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Man, those hooker bitches must be some great lays.

Who Knew? Pilipinas Loves Animal Sounds And Bondage Gear And…

March 19th, 2010 | 0 comments | Posted by Diana

Big Bird Big Mouth Strikes Again!

Lindsay Lohan Potentially Banned From India, Glad To Still Be On List At All Major LA Hotspots

March 19th, 2010 | 1 comment | Posted by Diana

Lindsay Lohan blacklisted from India? She must be sad! Somebody line up 4 tequila shots and a speedball, please.

Dear Texas State Board of Education

March 18th, 2010 | 6 comments | Posted by Jen

Fuck education–Remember the Alamo!

BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Grace Park

March 18th, 2010 | 13 comments | Posted by Jen

On Grace Park’s birthday, everybody wins.

Yeah, no thanks.

Advice For Your St. Patrick’s Day Celebrasian

March 17th, 2010 | 7 comments | Posted by Diana

Irish car bombs and sloppy chicks? WOOOOOOOT!

HONORASIAN ALERT: Winnie Cooper

March 17th, 2010 | 8 comments | Posted by Jen

Winnie Cooper is sooo one of us. We’re hoping her little bun in the oven is too.

Pandargarten

March 17th, 2010 | 3 comments | Posted by Diana

Our parents would never have approved of this panda school.

ROCK OF ASIANS: The Slants Like Us, They Really Like Us!

March 17th, 2010 | 5 comments | Posted by Diana

We’re suckers for a shout-out!

How Quiet Is Rielle Hunter?

March 16th, 2010 | 3 comments | Posted by Diana

Rielle Hunter is taking the classy route.

BABEWATCH: The Calvin Klein X Underwear Campaign

March 16th, 2010 | 6 comments | Posted by Jen

“I’ll show you mine if you show me yours”? DEAL.

AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Annabel Park

March 15th, 2010 | 2 comments | Posted by Diana

Coffee Party founder Annabel Park on Obama: “I personally think that he may be a good driver and I see him trying, but the fact is we are asking him to drive a broken car.”