Dictionary

AMAZIAN –

Amazin’ Asian.

ANTI-ASIAN –

n. An Asian who’s aging well.  adj. Delaying or lessening the effects of aging by about 10 years, especially on the skin: an anti-asian cream.

Asiandroid –

Asian robot. Example: Julie Chen.

Blasian –

Black Asian. And badass.

CHINYSTERIA –

The alarmist fear that China is our new enemy and wants to poison our food, eat our dogs, take over the country and force us all to speak Ching-Chong.

Dental Disgrasian –

Disgraceful person with f-ed up, toothy teeth.

Discrazian –

Shameful member of the tribe who is also crazy.

DISGAYSIAN –

Shameful member of the tribe who also happens to be gay.

DISGRASIANMOBILES –

The Honda Element and the Toyota Scion; souped-up Acuras; a brand spankin’-new Infiniti.

EMANCIPASIAN –

Freedom.

EXPLOITASIAN –

Yellow exploitation.

FASHISM –

The oppressive, unassailable ideas handed down by the Fashion world.

GAYSIAN –

Fun.

GONGBANG –

An assault on the ears of gonging sounds that occurs in movies and television whenever someone or something Asian appears on screen. Example, Long Duk Dong in Sixteen Candles.

HARDASS ASIAN PARENTS –

Our mothers and fathers, whom we, despite our achievements and senses of familial duty, are usually disappointing.

HONORASIAN –

Honorary one of us.

KA-CHING CHONG –

Foreign language spoken by business-minded people who see dollar signs in the place of one billion slanty-eyes.

Lifestyle Asiaphile –

A person who fetishizes Asian dress, food, religion, and/or culture, often to the detriment of his/her own health and that of others. Example: Jeremy Piven.

MALAPROPASIAN –

Asian who uses sucky speech, or sucky speech used by Asians.

MISTASIAN IDENTITY –

Mistaking one of us for another; a result of believing that we all look alike.

Muslasian –

Muslim Asian.

Mutasian –

A recurring archetype in movies and television who does not have speaking lines. Also known as an Ornamental.

Nipple Slipple –

Peek-a-Boobie!!!

Nuddhism –

Religion practiced by Far Eastern nudists.

Panda-ring –

Pandering to our people.

Race Hustlers –

Michelle Malkin’s pet name for us!

Racial Dilettante –

A person who dabbles in the affect of another race or races (see Racial Drag), particularly when that race is “IN.”

Racial Drag –

Accoutrement and/or affect donned by one race to mimic another. Example: when a white girl wears chopsticks in her hair.

RICISM –

Racism against, among, and for rice eaters.

Samurite –

White Samurai who is typically the only person on Earth capable of saving innocent Japanese villagers from evil warlords and marauders.

Uncle Tam –

Yellow Uncle Tom.

Yellowface –

When a non-yellow person wears geisha make-up or slanty eyeliner while speaking mangled English. See also, Racial Drag.

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What’s Sexy In 2012? Not Asian, Black, Or Latina Women, According To Victoria’s Secret

May 12th, 2012 | 1 comment | Posted by Jen

Blondes have more…sexy.

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People Of Color Finally Appear On GIRLS And It’s The Same Ol’ Fucking Story

May 8th, 2012 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Ooo baby baby, it’s a white world.

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Student Survives DEA Ordeal That Would Make An Awesome Stoner Movie

May 3rd, 2012 | 1 comment | Posted by Jen

A 4/20 buzzkill to end all buzzkills.

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Popchips And Ashton Kutcher Make The Amazing Discovery That Brownface Doesn’t Sell

May 3rd, 2012 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Viral advertising FAIL.

Tomoko Ikeda Wheaton from the Remembrance Project

DISGRASIAN’s Extracurricular Activities: The Remembrance Project & Chinese American Cultural Night

April 30th, 2012 | 0 comments | Posted by jasmine

Get some culture.

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File Under “So What’s Your Excuse?”: Girl Without Hands Wins Penmanship Award

April 26th, 2012 | 4 comments | Posted by Jen

Admiring a 7 year-old’s hustle.

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New Study Shows Black Women Confront Racists, While Asian Women Just Feed Them Nasty Jellybeans

April 16th, 2012 | 7 comments | Posted by Jen

So…I’m black?

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Coca-Cola’s Launched An Insidious Campaign To Turn Asians Into A Hugging People

April 16th, 2012 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Hug it out.

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Vagina Whitening (That’s Right, You Heard Me)

April 13th, 2012 | 3 comments | Posted by Jen

Lightening up your lady parts.

Yu-Darvish

How To Make Friends With Asians, Part 1 Of (Hopefully) An Ongoing Educational Series

April 10th, 2012 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen

Life lessons.

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Marion Barry’s Yellow Peril

April 6th, 2012 | 4 comments | Posted by Jen

Community disorganizing.

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Asian Americans Marrying Other Asian Americans Is Fashionable And Stylish

April 2nd, 2012 | 4 comments | Posted by Jen

Hot trends for spring include polka dots, neon brights, and Asians marrying Asians.