I don’t know much about soccer, but I think we can all agree it’s an international sport. It’s the world’s most popular sport, for one thing. And the sport’s crowning event, the FIFA World Cup, is a tournament with over 200 participating nations, and, consequently, the world’s most-watched sporting event.
“Real football” is also a game governed by international rules. Rules Brazil’s Santos FC broke this week when an ad was revealed featuring some its top players “celebrating” the fact that the 2011 FIFA Club World Cup will be held in Japan later this year.
This is sort of astounding when you consider Brazil is home to the largest population of people of Japanese descent outside of Japan. And while apparently there are a number of Brazilians on the interwebz defending Santos FC’s use of the chink-eye as a gesture of affection–sound familiar?–this ad still gets a red card.
Even if the chink-eye isn’t considered offensive in Brazil–which I find hard to believe, Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Brazilian Soccer Team’s Chink-Eye Ad
Filed under: Brazil, Brazil Football Club Chink-Eye, Brazil Santos FC, Brazilasians, Chink, Chink Eye, Feigned Ignorance, FIFA, FIFA Club World Cup 2011, FIFA World Cup, Football, Football Clubs, Footie, International Rules, Japan, Laws of the Game, Racism, Racist Gestures, Racist Slurs, Soccer, Spanish Olympic Basketball Team Chink-Eye, Sports, The Other Football, Unacceptable, Weird Brazilian Behavior
The story of 36-year-old single mom Seemona Sumasar (detailed earlier this week by the NYT), pictured above, is a pretty sad one. A self-made Morgan Stanley analyst-turned-restaurateur, Sumasar had her life together when she met Jerry Ramrattan (pictured below), who, according to the Times, “said he was a police detective, but never seemed to go to work. He seemed obsessed with C.S.I., Law & Order and other television police dramas.” They started dating, and he ended up moving in. Over time she became suspicious about the fact that he lied constantly, and for the next year begged him to leave, though he refused.
In March of 2009, Ramrattan reportedly cornered her, taped her mouth, and raped her. After she pressed charges, he sent people to intimidate her. When she wouldn’t drop the charges, Ramrattan–free on bail–framed her.
Filed under: Armed Robbery, Cop Dramas, Crimes, CSI, Jerry Ramrattan, Liars, Massive Failings Of The American Justice System, Montages, Rape, Rebuilding, Seemona Sumasar, Unfunny Stuff, Woman Framed For False Crimes
For a Chinese American girl who grew up in Houston, had a dad who worked for NASA, and who watched basketball religiously–I first developed a taste for the game at church camp, in fact, the summer of ’86, when a big-screen TV got rolled out after evening services so we could watch the NBA Finals, Rockets versus Celtics–today’s a day of mourning.
In my grief, I recognize a weird symmetry to both of these events happening on the same day. The space shuttle Atlantis takes final flight, Yao’s grounded by injuries to his feet and ankles. It’s a perfect, Greek symmetry: Atlantis sank into the ocean, Achilles had a heel.
As a physicist’s daughter, I suppose I should know that gravity always wins, but it’s easy to forget about the physics of things when you witness something happen in your lifetime that you’d wished for and dreamed of but never thought would come true.
Filed under: A Dark Day, Achilles' Heel, Atlantis, Childhood Dreams, Farewells, Final Space Shuttle Flight, Goodbyes, Houston Rockets, NASA, NASA Space Shuttle Program, Rockets, Space Exploration, Space Shuttle Atlantis Final Flight, The Death of Dreams, Yao Ming Retires
Renowned satirical artist and Chinese dissident Ai Weiwei, who disappeared in early April and has been detained under shaky allusions to “economic crimes” by the Chinese government for over two months, has finally been released. After admitting to tax evasian, promising to pay fines, and showing a good attitude in detainment, the outspoken trailblazer is FREE AT LAST.
Free to move freely around Beijing, that is, as long as he notifies authorities every time he leaves the house.
Free, despite the fact that he can’t give interviews, make a peep on social media outlets (with 90k followers, Twitter was a major tool for Ai, who tweeted about disappearing activists, human rights violations, etc. prior to his detainment), or step outside of the city without permission. Though he cheerfully emerged to say hello to reporters and the International community this week, Ai has made it clear that he cannot speak publicly about his investigation or life situation, for “at least a year,” intimating a gag order that authorities won’t confirm.
An activist without a voice? That’s a prison unto itself. Let’s not pretend Ai Weiwei is free when he isn’t.
In December, American Vogue decreed that Asian models are all the rage. Six months later, British Vogue is saying the same thing in its June 2011 issue with Alexa Chung on the cover. (See what they did there? Asians, Asians, everywhere!) This is great and all–that Asians have become the new It Bag–but in hailing the so-called “rise of the Asian model,” British Vogue incorrectly identified Liu Wen, first Asian model to walk in a Victoria’s Secret show and be a face for Estee Lauder, as her Chinese compatriot Du Juan, first Asian model to appear on the cover of French Vogue.
Jezebel pointed out that this case of Mistasian Identity was uncovered the same day that Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! British Vogue Isn’t Racist, It Just Thinks We All Look Alike
Filed under: Alexandra Shulman, American Vogue, Anna Wintour, Asian Models, Asian Models On the Rise, Asian supermodels, British Vogue, British Vogue Editor Alexandra Shulman, Chinese Models, Du Juan, En Vogue, Fact Checkers, Fact Checking, Fashion Trends, Fashism, Laziness, Liu Wen, Mistasian Identity, People as Accessories, People As Trends, Race and Ethnicity as a Trend, Racism and the Fashion Industry, Trends, Vogue Magazine
Well, we gotta give Rep. Weiner credit for one thing…
…even his penis (X-rated pic-of-pic for the pervs here) leans to the left.
However, everything else about Weiner’s overexposed weiner (har-dee-har) is pretty damn annoying. Even the fact that we’re still talking about it is annoying. Sorry, guys!
The thing is, we can’t ignore the fact that “Weinergate” and all that it has inspired (like another fifteen minutes for Andrew Breitbart) had no competition this week in terms of disgrace. After all, it’s hard to beat the trifecta of indignant dishonesty/poor social media skills/betrayal of family, agreed?
All we know is that Weiner has one hell of an apology to prepare for his forthcoming first child. We can only imagine that he’ll deliver it the classy way that the publicly shamed do in this day and age–Twitter! Something like:
Although IOHO, he and his fellow public officials should reeeeeally think twice about EVER hitting that “Tweet” button. EVER.
Filed under: Andrew Breitbart, Anthony Weiner, Anthony Weiner Lying To The Press, Anthony Weiner Pregnant Wife, Anthony Weiner's Weiner, Anthony Weiner's wife is way too hot for this, Anthony Weiner'sPenis, Congressmen, Dick Pics, Humiliati, Lying, New York, Rep. Anthony Weiner, Scandals that are more stupid than sexy, Social Media, Weinergate
Don’t fuck with Australian Finance Minister Penny Wong. She’s the first openly-gay member of the Australian cabinet and the first Asian-born federal minister, not to mention the first person who’ll cut your dick off if you meow at her like a pussy during a parliamentary hearing.
Watch below as Wong takes Senator David Bushby to school Wednesday for sexist behavior:
Meow? More like RAWR.
Filed under: Australia, Australian Finance Minister Penny Wong, Australian Parliament, Australian Politics, Australian Senator Penny Wong, Catfights, Cattiness, Cutting Your Dick Off, LGBT, Liberal Senator David Bushby, Meow, Openly-Gay Politicians, Penny Wong, Pussies, Rawr, Tough Asian Bitches, Weird Australian Behavior
Brown People, take note. In the future heretofore, you will be required to submit your birth certificate when seeking or holding public office in the United States of America. Only long-form birth certificates will be considered valid. In addition to providing the necessary documents when seeking public office, you will be required to submit your driver’s licenses when operating a motor vehicle, even lawfully (known colloquially as “Driving While Brown”), and two forms of identification when attempting to buy flat-screen TV’s larger than 48″, fireworks where the sale of fireworks is legal, Sudafed, short-haired cats, luxury aquariums, foreign-made cigarettes, and ice cream in gallon-sized tubs as opposed to pints.
Why, you ask, Brown People? Because you WANT so many things. You want the feeling of belonging in this country, the feeling that you aren’t alien or foreign, that you’re a native son and not some brother from another planet.
And everyone knows these are things that traditionally belong to White People.
Moving forward, Brown People, please take a page from the book of Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal. While Governor Jindal is, in fact, a Brown Person like you, he still recently supported legislation that casts suspicion on the belongingness of Brown People. Why, you ask, Brown People? Especially when it boomeranged back to Governor Jindal and cast suspicion on Jindal himself, resulting in the governor having to produce his own birth certificate to prove that he’s a citizen?
Because Bobby Jindal believes that being asked to produce your birth certificate to prove you’re a U.S. citizen when you hold public office and you are Brown isn’t racist.
Why, you ask? My goodness, you People have so many questions. If you ask any more, I’ll be forced to ask for your papers. Besides, I think the answer is very, very simple.
Filed under: Birther Movement, Birthers, Birthers Are Racist, Bobby Jindal Produces Birth Certificate, Brown People, Disgrasians, Disgrindians, Governor Bobby Jindal, Louisiana, Sellouts, Weird Louisianan Behavior
A new psych study examining the role of happiness on the mental well-being of Asians, Asian Americans, and European Americans has been published in the aptly-named journal, Emotion. Led by University of Washington psychologist Janxin Leu and co-authored by UW grad students Jennifer Wang (my name doppelganger) and Kelly Koo, the study interviewed 633 college students–a mix of Asian immigrants, Asian Americans and European Americans–and asked them to rate how much stress and depression they felt as well as the intensity of their positive emotions, like serenity, joy, confidence and attentiveness.
Their research concluded that among European-American participants “there was a strong correlation showing that the more positive emotions they expressed, the less depression or stress they reported.”
For Asians born outside of the U.S. “there was no correlation between positive emotions and depression and stress” found, because Asians seemed to interpret and respond to positive emotions differently. Leu discovered that happiness led to a kind of paranoia among Asians. “Happiness signals that something bad will happen next; happiness is fleeting,” she said.
As for the third group, Asians born in the U.S., i.e. people like me–and many of you reading this–the study’s results weren’t so clear.
The University of Washington news release for the study states “the correlation [between positive emotions and depression and stress] was more subtle among Asian-Americans” than among European Americans. The TIME magazine report on the study says “results for U.S.-born Asian Americans were mixed.”
Which sounds like a polite way of saying that Asian Americans are in emotional limbo, Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! New Study Suggests Asian Americans Are In Emotional Limbo
Filed under: Asian Americans and Depression, Asian Americans and Psychology, Depression, Emotional Limbo, Happiness, Happy Thoughts, Meh, Mental Health, Neither Here nor There, Positive Emotions, Psychology Studies, Research Studies, So This Is Why I'm Fucked Up, University of Washington
TMZ, which operates under the auspices of AOL News, definitely serves a purpose. In life, there’s always somebody that has to reside in the murkiest layer–the person that denies insurance benefits to cancer patients, the defense attorney that attacks victims in order to save her guilty defendant, the jerk that has to tell little kids that there is no Santa Claus. TMZ is like that person. The supergossip team’s shamelessness allows them to dig deep into the wounds of Hollywood to tell us who’s crazy, who’s dead, who has anal sex with prostitutes instead of their wife, who’s suing their ex, who’s blown all of their money on 8 balls. Without them, we wouldn’t know such things, at least not so quickly and with no tactful filter. It’s questionable whether or not we’d ever want to, but that’s not the point. Bottom line, as I said before: TMZ has a purpose, I guess.
Yesterday, the site posted a segment featuring an on-the-fly “interview” with Sung Kang, one of Jen’s many hot boyfriends and familiar sexyface from the Fast & Furious franchise (You can see him alive again in the upcoming sequel, Fast Five). See below:
Filed under: AOL, April Fools, Ask The Asian Dude, Clowning, Fast Five, Georgia, Harvey Levin, Jackie Chan, Karaoke, Racist Shit, Stupid Ideas, Sung Kang, The Fast And the Furious Sequels, This is Bullshit, TMZ, TMZ Racist, TMZ Racist Video, Toyota, Translation
As you all know, a week ago, an 8.9 earthquake hit off the eastern coast of Japan, unleashing a 23-foot tsunami that so far has claimed 7,000 lives, with another 10,000 still missing (and feared dead). Nearly 400,000 people–a good number of them elderly–have been displaced and are living in shelters. Meanwhile, the damaged Fukushima nuclear plant raised its crisis level from level 4 to 5 out of 7, which, according to CNN, “indicates the likelihood of a release of radioactive material, several deaths from radiation and severe damage to a reactor core.”
In the outpouring of sympathy and support for Japan that came from all quarters, there were those who thought what was happening in Japan was…HILARZ.
There were those who thought what was happening in Japan was from God.
There were those who seemed more concerned with the fate of the Japanese Yen than the Japanese people, and then there were those who felt very strongly that Japan finally got what was coming to them. They took to Twitter with their talk of “payback” and “karma” for Pearl Harbor, atrocities committed against other Asian countries during WWII, the killing of whales and dolphins.
And the people expressing these sorts of sentiments haven’t just been randos with too much time on their hands, they’ve been well-known and famous, with huge followings on Twitter, radio, and TV.
Below is a list of the last week’s most notable offenders:
Tweeted last Friday by the rapper to his 4 million+ followers:
Filed under: 50 Cent, AFLAC, AFLAC Duck Gilbert Gottfried, Allen Sulkin, Cappie Poindexter, Celebrity Twitterer, CNBC Larry Kudlow, Dan Turner, Deplorable Comments, Family Guy Allen Sulkin, Gaffes, Gilbert Gottfried, GIlbert Gottfried Fired, Glenn Beck, Haley Barbour Press Secretary Dan Turner, Japan, Japan Earthquake, Japan Nuclear Crisis, Japan Tsunami, Larry Kudlow, Natural Disasters, Rush Limbaugh, The Sulk, Twitter, Unfunny Stuff, WNBA Cappie Poindexter
So, there’s this Facebook app called “Asianate Yourself,” where you can make yourself Asian, which some people find offensive, especially since the app was created by a Hong Kong-based soy sauce company that should know better, but as people who came into this world already “Asianated,” can we just say that we totally get it?
I mean, if people wanna be us, I can’t blame them. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em, right?
That said, the Asianate app sucks balls. For one thing, there’s nothing “Urban Asian” about sumo. Actually I have to admit that I don’t even know what “Urban Asian” means. Is that, like, as opposed to “Jungle Asian,” like Diana (yes, I know this is a slur but Diana’s owning it so maybe you should too)? Or is “Urban” the roundabout way of saying “Morbidly Obese” when applied to Asians, the way it’s the roundabout way of saying “Black” when applied to African-Americans?
And that’s the other thing. Why would you Asianate yourself right into Body Dysmorphic Disorder? Asianated people can’t deal with that shit. None of our Asianated aunties–who’d be the first to tell us at our family reunions we’ve gotten fat–would approve.
What they would approve of, however, is Asianating yourself into…
Our boyfriend Daniel Dae Kim!
Filed under: Advertising, Amoy Asianate Yourself Facebook App, Amoy Food Limited, Asianasian, Asianate Yourself Facebook App, Asianation, Bad Advertising, Bad Marketing Campaigns, Be Like Us, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Daniel Dae Kim, Daniel Henney, Daniel Liu, DDK, Disgrasian Social Media, Disgrasian Technology, Facebook Apps, Hot Asian Men, Racial Drag, Sumo Wrestlers, Sumo Wrestling