DISGRASIAN™

DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! The Oil Spill Only Gets Worse

Well, everybody, it’s been 100 Days since the BP Oil Spill and apparently there’s good news!


Apparently, BPs oil dispersants have so effectively caused oil to disappear from the surface of the Gulf that even the cleanup jobs are drying up! Hooray! Great job, BP!!!

But wait. Oh wait.

It looks like a group of scientists (hired by the lawyers suing BP) have analyzed the results from their testing of the waters. And apparently the dispersants (which include the chemical Corexit) being used to clear the water’s surface are ACTUALLY EVEN MORE TOXIC THAN THE OIL.

From today’s NYT:

“This is a management decision, to use dispersants,” College of William and Mary marine science professor Robert Diaz said yesterday. “It doesn’t make the oil go away, it just puts it from one part of the ecosystem to another.”

That dispersed oil now hovers, diluted in the water column, posing a challenge for scientists to track and measure the subsea plumes. Mapping the long-term effects of the nearly 2 million gallons of dispersant used by BP PLC may well be Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! The Oil Spill Only Gets Worse

Filed under: BP, BP Dispersant Toxic, Dispersants, Environmental Disasters, Environmentalists, EPIC FAIL, Getting Worse All The Time, Gulf Coast Oil Spill, Gulf of Mexico, Scientists, Shameful Events, Unfuck the Gulf, We're All Fucked, Who Are These Idiot Assholes?

DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! The Sherrod Charade

Shirley Sherrod

Back in March, Andrew Breitbart wrote a post called “2010: A Race Odyssey — Disproving a Negative for Cash Prizes or, How the Civil Rights Movement Jumped the Shark” for Big Journalism, one of his five websites, in which he claimed that accusations of racism are merely a “trick” of the Left:

As I have said over and over and over, the left has one trick that it will use again and again when its back is in the corner: shout ‘racist’ in a crowded country.

Which is funny, given how Breitbart was the first to post that heavily-edited and manipulated video of USDA employee Shirley Sherrod giving a speech at an NAACP event, and the first to call Sherrod’s speech racist:

“In this piece you will see video evidence of racism coming from a federal appointee and NAACP award recipient and in another clip from the same event a perfect rationalization for why the Tea Party needs to exist.”

That video, which appeared on July 19, touched off a two day-orgy on the part of the right wing-media, in which not only Sherrod, but the NAACP, civil rights activists, the so-called mainstream media, the Obama administration, and pretty much anyone who’s ever been engaged or concerned with race issues was labeled racist. Media Matters For America has a full timeline, but here are a few highlights:

“The—this woman on tape saying these racially charged things that she didn’t want to help farmers, in particular white farmer. That she said she wanted him to go out and deal with one of his own and she put him in touch with a white lawyer. Just the latest in a series of racial incidents.”–Sean Hannity, Hannity, July 19

“The former civil rights group known as the NAACP does not just invite anti-Semite Louis Farrakhan and radical America-hating Marxist Jeremiah Wright to speak at their events…They also invite government officials who hate whitey Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! The Sherrod Charade

Filed under: Andrew Breitbart, Barack Obama, Civil Rights, FOX News is a Joke, Liars, Lies, MSM, NAACP, Obama, President Barack Obama, Racism, Racists, Right Wing Nutjobs, Right Wingnuts, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Shirley Sherrod, Shirley Sherrod Smear Campaign, Shirley Sherrod Speech, Tea Party Movement, Tea Party Racist, Teabaggers, USDA

DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Mark Williams, The Tea Party Express’ Non-Racist Racist

Having read and re-read and re-read and re-read the “parody letter” that Tea Party Express talking head Mark Williams wrote to Abe Lincoln in the voice of NAACP President Ben Jealous, speaking for “The Coloreds,” I’ve got to say:

I DON’T GET IT.

In an effort to defend the Tea Party’s position that it isn’t racist, Williams cleverly decided this week to turn the tables on an, uh, obvious target: the NAACP. He called them out for being “racist” (Naturally!) due to the fact that the 99-year-old organization’s name still includes the word “colored.”

In case you aren’t familiar with the NAACP, I’ve included their mission and vision statements below:

We at DISGRASIAN hate to lend any more attention to the Tea Party–they’re a fringe Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Mark Williams, The Tea Party Express’ Non-Racist Racist

Filed under: Abraham Lincoln, Bad Jokes, Ben Jealous, Mark Williams, Missing the Point, NAACP, NAACP President Ben Jealous, Parody Letter, Racist Jokes, Really Stupid Americans, Talking Heads, Tea Party, Unfunny People, Unfunny Stuff, Why Does The Tea Party Get So Much Press?

DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! David Eng

When I was in school, the one tome that edged out Didion’s The White Album for the top spot in my personal college reading canon was one penned by many authors. It was the English Department’s compendium of plagiarism offenses, replete with red marks, documentation of original sources (Who would recognize the words of Norman Mailer at a University, after all?), and my favorite part: the huge, garish, circled question marks aggressively clawed onto the last page of the incriminating papers, like scratched profanity on dive bar bathroom stalls. They were the professorial equivalent of “WTF?!?!?!?!?!? WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DOES THIS!?!??” and spoke a thousand words.

I was always amused by the busting of plagiarists, probably because, as a writer, I’ve always found cribbing somebody else’s words to be the lowest form of both cheating and stealing. My soaring ego, then unchecked, also made me so confident in my writing “voice” that I remember thinking it incredibly tacky to be able to substitute someone else’s words for your own. If I didn’t get busted for plagiarizing, I would often say far-too-smugly, it would be a day of mourning for my pen. God, college students are obnoxious.

I think I’m hardly in the minority by turning up my nose at those who lift the work another writer has sweat and bled for. For chrissake, plagiarism just isn’t ASIAN. Yes, it’s important to us to be the best; we’ll do almost anything to achieve that honor in any situation. But we also need to know we’re actually the best. We don’t like knowing that somebody else is out there that can do it better, no matter what “it’ is, even if we’re taking credit for “it.”

When Intern Jasmine posted a link to Cinematical’s story about longtime movie review plagiarist David Eng yesterday, she emphasized how insanely long he’d been stealing from other no-name critics like, ah, Roger Ebert and EW’s Lisa Schwarzbaum (Who would recognize the words of Ebert on the Internet, after all?): Five years. That’s actually kind of amazing, even in a world where most blog opinion serves as packing peanuts for the Internet, filling up space and getting tossed away by the general population without being given a second look.

But I would argue that Eng’s true offense is actually how BAD his plagiarism actually was, before he was called out by Cinematical this week and his movie review blog taken down (It still lives on, unfortunately, in the Google cache). The work was sloppy, sad, and lazy. He barely took the effort to compose poorly-worded opening and closing lines to mask articles pirated in full.

See how he took on Ebert: Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! David Eng

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Barry Wong

A Republican candidate running for the Arizona Corporation Commission, which regulates public utility companies (among other responsibilities), has proposed a change in policy in the event of his election:

He wants to cut off utilities for residences of illegal immigrants.

From The Arizona Republic:

Serving a growing number of people with power, he said, raises utility rates because it requires building new power plants. He said asking utilities not to serve illegal immigrants could protect other ratepayers from utility hikes…

“…I’m sure there will be criticism about human-rights violations,” Wong said of his utility proposal. “Is power or natural gas or any type of utility we regulate, is that a right that people have? It is not a right. It is a service.”

Declaring oneself  anti-immigrant seems to be increasingly en vogue in Arizona, and critics have accused Wong of making these controversial remarks, targeting illegal immigrants, in order to win votes. (It should be noted that Arizona’s commission is one of the few in the United States to employ elected officials.) Funnily enough, even the most vocal anti-immigrant politicians in the state have shied away from Wong’s ideas. Wong of course denies making his claims purely for election buzz, saying, “”I don’t need to take on these issues for election purposes. I served on the Corporation Commission.”

Perhaps the most shameful part of such accusations is that they’re even plausible. When did a lack of humanity become a pathway to power?

OH WAIT. SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME.

Source
Thanks, Jasmine and Henri!

Filed under: Anti-Immigrant, Arizona, Arizona Corporation Commission, Arizona SB 1070, Barry Wong, Denying Illegal Immigrants Utilities, Humanity, Republicans, Stupid Proposals, This is Bullshit, Utilities

DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! The McChrystal Method

An entire military career down in flames in a little under 48 hours. Looks like a little diarrhea of the mouth goes a long way.





The real shame about this whole McChrystal takedown is that the fallout is sad and bad for basically everyone.

Except maybe Rolling Stone.

[Rolling Stone: The Runaway General]
[NPR: Afghan Shift - McChrystal Out, Petraeus In]

Source
Thanks, Micah!

Filed under: Afghanistan, Afghanistan War, America Needs Help, Gen. McChrystal, General McChrystal Resigns, General Patraeus, General Stanley McChrystal, Michael Hastings, President Obama, Rolling Stone, Sad and Bad, Shameful Events, Vice President Joe Biden

DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Rep. Joseph Barton (R-TX)

Oh, how that sneaky Rep. Joseph Cao (R-LA) toys with our emotions! We never know how we’re gonna feel about him (okay, pretty sure we love the guy–but he sure can bum us out) on any given day. He’s always so full of surprises!

Earlier this week, during BP America President Lamar McKay’s public shaming congressional testimony regarding the Gulf oil spill, Cao said what we’re sure lots of people are thinking, but would never say aloud:

From HuffPo:

“Mr. Stearn asked Mr. McKay to resign. In the Asian culture we do things differently. During the Samurai days, we would just give you a knife and ask you to commit Hari-Kari [sic]. My constituents are still debating on what they want me to ask you to do, but that being said, the cleaning up process has been a disgrace and the claims process has been dismal…”

Of course the comments were extreme and Cao has since stated that they were meant only to convey his level of frustration with BP, but dayum! We couldn’t have scripted his words better if we tried ( okay, we did try, but it wasn’t any better).


Rep. Joseph Barton (R-TX), on the other hand, did the opposite this week. When it was his turn to speak during BP CEO Tony Hayward’s public shaming congressional testimony, he said what nobody else would say aloud, and uh, NOBODY ELSE WAS THINKING:

Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Rep. Joseph Barton (R-TX)

Filed under: Apologies, BP, BP America President, BP CEO, Congressional Testimony, Culf Coast, Culf of Mexico, Gulf Coast Oil Spill, Gulf Coast Oil Spill Clean-up, Hardass Asian Politicians, Harikiri, Investigation, Joseph Barton Apologizes for Apologizing to BP, Joseph Barton Apologizes to BP, Joseph Cao, Lack of Preparasian, Lamar McKay, Louisiana, Political Suicide, Politicians, Public Apologies, Rep. Joseph Barton, Rep. Joseph Cao, Republicans, Ritual Suicide, Texas, Tony Hayward

DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Liveblogging The Karate Kid Remake With Jen’s Hardass Asian Mama

Any use of inappropriate cultural terms or conflation with the original movie is entirely intentional:

The Karate Kid (Jaden Smith) and his Mom (Taraji Henson) are leaving Detroit. Lest you think this is a single black mom/deadbeat dad scenario, we’re told upfront that the Karate Kid’s Dad is dead…period. Detroit is portrayed as a gray, dismal city full of shuttered storefronts. This is America in our continued state of joblessness, America in the 21st century, America on the decline. But China, where they’re headed for Mom’s work, is the land of opportunity, the land of now, the land on the up-and-up, or, as the Karate Kid’s Mom puts it, “a magical new land,” like unicorns live there or something.

The Karate Kid tries out his Mandarin on the Asian dude sitting across the aisle from him on the plane. “Dude, I’m from Detroit,” the Asian dude says. Light laughs from the audience, which is mostly made up of families with tween children and some creepy older loners who probably wanted to be Daniel-san back in the day. My Hardass Asian Mom (HAM) approves of this joke: “Not all Chinese or Asian looking guy speaks Chinese, this is true.”

Meanwhile: Where is my Bananarama remix???

When the Karate Kid and his Mom arrive at the airport, their lady driver is holding a sign Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Liveblogging The Karate Kid Remake With Jen’s Hardass Asian Mama

Filed under: Bananarama, China, Gong Fu, Hardass Asian Moms, Hardass Asian Mothers, Hardass Asian Parents, Inappropriate Crushes, Jackie Chan, Jaden Smith, Kung Fu, Nerds, Tamlyn Tomita, The Karate Kid, The Karate Kid Remake, Unicorns, Wax On Wax Off

DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! The Karate Kid And Red Dawn: Two Movie Remake-Wrongs Don’t Make A Right

NEWSFLASH: China is America’s enemy.

Okay, so this is not news exactly. But it’s a meme that’s getting some pop cultural attention this year with the release of two 80’s movie remakes that promote the idea–two of my favorite movies growing up, as it so happens–The Karate Kid, which opens in a week, and Red Dawn, which will debut in November.

The new Karate Kid is set in Beijing, where those oversized, sandy-haired thugs, aka Cobra Kai, have been updated into a gang of oversized, slanty-eyed thugs.

Say what you will about bad guys, but they always know how to rock a uniform, even when it’s dorky as hell

There are good Chinese people to balance out this “I am extremely terrified of Chinese Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! The Karate Kid And Red Dawn: Two Movie Remake-Wrongs Don’t Make A Right

Filed under: 80's Movie Remakes, 80's Movies, Bullies, China, China the New Superpower, Chinysteria, Cobra Kai, I Am Extremely Terrified of Chinese People, Jackie Chan, Karate Kid Remake, Red Dawn, Red Dawn Remake, Remakes Always Suck, The Chinese Are Coming The Chinese Are Coming, The Karate Kid, Underdogs, Wolverines, Xenophobia, Yellow Peril

DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Softass Asian Parents

By now you may have seen the Internet-famous photos of Ardi Rizal, a 2-year-old Indonesian boy with a 2-pack-a-day habit.

Bad parenting blows

Although we will admit he’s got a pretty cool smoking style (very Goodfellas! Oh I kid, I kid), photos of the tot on a little truck actually reveal a really frightening fact–Rizal’s smoking has affected his health so much that he can barely move himself without those plastic wheels.

Homeboy is a smoker. And his parents apparently can’t–or won’t–do anything about it.

From Daily Mail:

“[D]espite local officials’ offer to buy the Rizal family a new car if the boy quits, his parents feel unable to stop him because he throws massive tantrums if they don’t indulge him.

His mother, Diana, 26, wept: ‘He’s totally addicted. If he doesn’t get cigarettes, he gets angry and screams and batters his head against the wall. He tells me he feels dizzy and sick.’

Ardi will smoke only one brand and his habit costs his parents £3.78 a day in Musi Banyuasin, in Indonesia’s South Sumatra province.”

So waaaaaaaitaminute. This TODDLER has no degrees, no job, no promise of athletic glory or public office. He costs his parents £4 a day because he’s picky about his pack and his dad doesn’t see a problem? Who’s the boss here? If my late Hardass Asian Grandma read about this situation, she’d probably smack me just to make sure I didn’t get any wild ideas!

But anyway, here’s a solution: Let’s get Cesar Millan over to Indonesia to rehabilitate this little smoke fiend and train those parents! Sheesh.

[Daily Mail: Too Unfit To Run - Two-Year-Old Who Smokes 40 Cigarettes A Day Puffs Away On A Toy Truck]

Source
Thanks, Heather!

Filed under: 2 packs a day, 2-year-old Indonesian boy smokes, 40 cigarettes a day, Ardi Rizal, Bad Parenting, child smoker, Childhood smoking habits, Diana Rizal, Hardass Asian Parenting, Hardass Asian Parents, Hardass Asian Siblings, Health, Indonesia, Indonesians, Mohammed Rizal, Not Cool, Softass Asian Parents, Weird Indonesian Behavior

DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Is Swinging Criminal?

A lot of people find swinging couples to be reeeeeally ewwwwwwwwwwy. I don’t mind ‘em so much. After all, what do I care? If a couple likes to screw lots of other couples, that’s their thing. And certainly, gettin’ busy is fun—why wouldn’t doubling, tripling, quadrupling up on the busy be even more fun? I imagine those great ’70s pornos where everybody’s scattered around a snow cabin, playing Boggle in their bellbottoms and tight sweaters, then suddenly everyone is naked and muffdiving and moaning like crazy on the floor in front of the fireplace–that shit is AWESOME.

Okay, swinging is probably not good for monogomy (at least according to Dr. Drew), but hey, neither is extended business travel. Or social networking.

My only real problem with swingers is that the only real-life swingers I’ve ever met have been criminally ugly and/or kinda creepy. When I was in college, a person invited me with a cheap business card and a latte order to attend a swingers night, and I swear he was Golum.

So wait. Does this guy look criminally ugly to you?

Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Is Swinging Criminal?

Filed under: Hardass Asian Mothers, Ma Yaohai, Man Imprisoned For Orgies, Orgies, Sex Dens, Swingers, Swinging Couples, Weird Chinese Behavior

DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Tony Hayward, BP CEO

My mom would say that stupidity is the first step towards disgrace, and thusly, saying stupid things one of the world’s most disgraceful acts.

I wonder if Tony Hayward, BP’s CEO, thought about that before he spit up this drivel during an idiotic interview with the UK’s Guardian:

“The Gulf of Mexico is a very big ocean. The amount of volume of oil and dispersant we are putting into it is tiny in relation to the total water volume,” he said.

Okay, before somebody explains this guy how an oil spill that’s already bigger than the state of Maryland can never be dismissed as “tiny,” can we please tell him what a fuckin’ ocean is? And how the Gulf of Mexico–which is actually an ocean basin–ISN’T ONE?

View HuffPo’s gallery of the “tiny” oil damage here.

[via HuffPo]
[Guardian UK: BP Boss Tony Hayward Admits Job Is On The Line Over Deepwater Oil Spill]

Source
Thanks, Eliza!

Filed under: Atlantic Ocean, BP, BP CEO, BP Oil Spill Relatively "Tiny?", Deepwater Oil Spill, Gulf Coast, Gulf Coast Oil Spill, Gulf of Mexico, Gulf of Mexico Oil Spill, Ocean Basin, Oceans, Really Dumb People, Somebody's Gonna Get Fired, Stupid Things That People Say, The Gulf of Mexico Isn't An Ocean You Nit, Tony Hayward