DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! The Hump
Last night, I had a dream that I was sitting at a sushi bar, watching the chef work with his knife before me. He sliced two slim pieces of soft, red flesh and placed them gently on balls of warm sushi rice. He leaned over the bar and laid the two sushi pieces on the wooden platform in my reach, an inch away from a small pat of wasabi and wet pile of dusty-pink pickled ginger.
“This is whale,” he said, looking me in the eye. “No soy sauce.”
Taken aback, I said, “No. Thank you, no whale please.”
“Whale,” he said, now stern. “You eat it. Chef’s special Omakase.” He tightened the grip on his Shun knife.
“No. I can’t. I can’t,” I whimpered, overwhelmed suddenly by fear.
“EAT IT,” he said. And suddenly we were no longer at a sushi bar but in a cavernous black room, with him pinning me against a chair while shoving large, bloody pieces of whale meat into my mouth. “EEEEEEAT IIIIIT!”
The nightmare, of course, stemmed from a week of reading about the recent bust of Santa Monica sushi resto The Hump, an eatery known for serving exotic sushi. The place was busted after two undercover females with a lipstick camera ordered the $600 Omakase menu and requested whale, then were awarded eight pieces. They pocketed samples of the meat and later had them analyzed, identifying the meat as that from the endangered sei whale.
LAT describes the resulting charge:
Named in the complaint, filed in U.S. District Court in Los Angeles, were Typhoon Restaurant Inc., owner of the Hump, and chef Kiyoshiro Yamamoto, 45, of Culver City.
Filed under: Busts, Charges, Endangered Species, Illegal Sale of Marine Mammal Products, Illegally Selling Whale Meat, Kiyoshiro Yamamoto, Los Angeles, Ocean Brethren, Omakase, Santa Monica, Sei Whale, Sushi, Sushi Chef, The Hump, This is Bullshit, Typhoon Restaurant Inc., Whale Meat, White Mercedes, WTF?
DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Scotty Lago, Michael Phelps And The Olympic-Sized Case Of Mistasian Identity
Earlier in the week, we told you about how snowboarder Scotty Lago went on Kimmel and, with the help of a friend who’d spoken to fellow Olympian Michael Phelps, identified the woman who blew his bronze and got him bounced from the Games as a reporter who had also tried to “make out” with Phelps.
Good thing our friends are smarter than Scotty and Michael’s friends, because ours quickly pointed us to this post by Canadiasian gossip blogger Elaine “Lainey” Lui, the reporter in question, who runs the site Lainey Gossip. Lainey not only refutes that she’s the same woman who gave Lago the bronzejob, but she also tells her side of the story behind the “alleged” Phelps make-out attempt.
Lainey Lui on the left, The Bronze Blower on the right
She writes in “For Michael Phelps: Distinguishing Asians 101″:
Filed under: Blowjobs, Broheems, Bronzejobs, Butterfaces, Douche-nozzles, Douchebags, Lainey Gossip, Lainey Lui, Michael Phelps, Mistasian Identity, Olympians, Scott Lago, Scotty Lago, Scotty Lago Bronze Medal Blowjob, Scotty Lago On Jimmy Kimmel, Scotty Lago Racy Photos, White Boys
DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Stop The Deportation Of Qing Hong Wu [UPDATE]
The bootstraps tale of Qing Wu, 29 (pictured), is, by nearly all accounts, a success story. As the NY Times reported last week, his family legally immigrates from China when Qing is five, settling in New York’s Chinatown. His mother finds work in a garment factory, his father cooks in Chinese restaurants out of state, but they can still barely make ends meet. As a result, they have little time to look after Qing, who starts getting into trouble as a teen, despite being a gifted student and scoring in the 98th percentile in math (of course). At 15, Qing commits a series of muggings with his delinquent friends and gets sent to juvey.
photo by Todd Heisler/NY Times
It is then that Qing begins to turn his life around. He gets out after 3 years for being a model inmate, receives his GED, works his way up from data entry clerk to corporate vice president of IT operations at a national firm, supports his mother with his earnings, gets engaged, and at age 29, decides to apply for U.S. citizenship. Future’s so bright, you gotta wear shades, right?
Wrong.
Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Stop The Deportation Of Qing Hong Wu [UPDATE]
Filed under: Applying for Citizenship, Deportation of Qing Wu, Free Qing Wu, Immigrant Stories, Nightmare Stories, Petitions, Qing Hong Wu, Qing Wu
DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Viet Dinh
You may remember Viet Dinh as George W. Bush’s Assistant Attorney General from 2001 to 2003, and the man hailed as the main author of The Patriot Act (for a memory refresher, download his opus here).
Dinh made a speaking appearance on a panel today at CPAC, the Conservative Political Action Conference, and used the mic to defend the Patriot act as well as call out President Obama for killing too many terrorists.
From HuffPo:
“Why have executions increased?” asked Viet Dinh, a professor at Georgetown University Law Center and one of the authors of the USA Patriot Act. Citing a recent Washington Post article on the increased targeted killing of terrorists, Dinh complained that “the president and vice president expound this fact as a fact that they are actually successful in war.”
“That doesn’t mean I think they are not illegitimate,” he added. “No, we have every right to kill the other side’s warriors. But at what cost? When we do not have an effective detention policy the only option we have is to kill them before we can detain them. And if we don’t detain them, we don’t know what they know and what they are up to.”
Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Viet Dinh
Filed under: Bush Administration, Detaining Terrorists Has Worked Really Well For Us In The Past, Detainment, Enough Already, Former Assistant Attorney General, George W. Bush, Idiots, Obama Kills Too Many Terrorists, Partisan Bullshit, Partisanship, Pinko Commies, Right Wing Nutjobs, Terror, Terrorism, Terrorist Attacks, Terrorists, Terrorysteria, The Patriot Act, The Patriot Act is Unpatriotic, Viet Dinh, You Can't Win With These People
DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Yeh Ling-Ling, Immigrant-Hater
Last week, during his kickoff speech at the first National Teabagger Tea Party Convention, former congressman Tom Tancredo called for voters to take civics literacy tests and suggested President Obama only got elected because the U.S. doesn’t require them.
“People who could not even spell the word ‘vote,’ or say it in English, put a committed socialist idealogue in the White House, name is Barack Hussein Obama,” Tancredo said.
Tancredo, a one-note anti-immigration advocate, got a partner-in-hysteria this week when Yeh Ling-Ling, executive director of the creepy-sounding Alliance for a Sustainable USA–a non-profit that champions an outright immigration moratorium and couches its anti-immigration agenda in more palatable terms such as “environmentalism” and being for “social coherence”–came out in support of the idea.
Ms. Yeh, wouldn’t you know, is herself an immigrant several times over. From a 2004 Sierra magazine–as in The Sierra Club–profile:
Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Yeh Ling-Ling, Immigrant-Hater
Filed under: Anti-Immigration, Beans and Ricism, Civics Literacy Test, Conservatards, Haters, Immigrant Haters, Immigrants, Immigration Reform, National Tea Party Convention, Ricism, Tea Party Conventions, Tom Tancredo
DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Toyota
Often when we award the distinctive honor of DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK, the offender’s biggest problem is that they are shameless about whatever shitty thing they’ve done.
This week, however, we recognize disgrace that has been acknowledged and loaded with a truckful of shame. As you may know, Toyota recently recalled eight auto models with brake pedal sticking problems, after a widely-publicized car crash took the lives of a CHP officer and his family.
Today, Toyota CEO of three months Akio Toyoda stood before the Japan National Press Club to deliver a most ashamed, sprawling, grief-laden public apology.
All Apologies
NYT reports:
A little more than three months after assuming his post, the president of Toyota, the world’s biggest automaker, recited a long list of mea culpas to astonished reporters at the Japan National Press Club.
Filed under: Absolute Shame, Apologies, Economic Crisis, Fatal Car Crash CHP Officer, Global Economics, Japan National Press Club, Lexus, Public Apologies, Salvasian, Shame, Toyota, Toyota CEO Akio Toyoda, Toyota President Apologizes, Toyota Recall
DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! That Nerdy Little O’Keefe Gang
Early twenty-something boys don’t catch a lot of breaks, it’s true. Sure, they’ve started wearing ties to work–but they’re still making coffee. They spend dinner on the couch with $5 footlongs, a bong, the roommate who shits twice as much and never buys toilet paper. They have unexplainable indoor furniture (1980s rolling desk, black entertainment stand, armless teal fabric La-Z-Boy knockoff) on their outdoor balcony. Their early twenty-something ex-girlfriend is now (joyfully) screwing a thirty-something with a tastefully furnished starter house and an Audi.
Ah, dude life after college.
So there’s a part of me that understands why the four guys in the “O’Keefe Gang” (that little nickname is just so adowwable) dressed up as telephone company workers to tap Democratic Senator Mary Landrieu’s federal building phones (no, they did not crib this saucy ploy from a Martin Lawrence film), in hopes of embarassing her and taking widespread Conservatard credit for it–typically the kind of instant notariety that only causing a public smear of a non-profit fighting institutionalized disenfranchisement or creating the world’s biggest timesuck can earn you. They wanted to be important! They wanted to count for something! AWW!
Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! That Nerdy Little O’Keefe Gang
Filed under: ACORN, Anti-Feminists, Conservatards, Flogging, Illegal Activities, James O'Keefe, Mary Landrieu, Penis Monologues, Pimp Costume, Sen. Mary Landrieu, The O'Keefe Gang, Whoopsieeee, William Flanagan Son, Wiretapping
DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Hak-Shing William Tam
Hak-Shing William Tam, secretary of the Christian Evangelical Group called American Return to God Prayer Movement and official California Prop 8 Backer, testified as a hostile witness yesterday in the lawsuit to overturn the ban on same-sex marriage.
Hak-Shing William Tam
In a piece published today on the galvanizasian of Bay Area Chinese evangelicals in opposition to same-sex marriage, the NYT discussed Tam’s testimony,which was solicited by plaintiff’s attorneys to prove the success in passing Prop 8 was “born of virulent homophobia.” Though Tam refused multiple requests for an interview, the Times highlighted a selection from one of his widely-distributed Web essays, which basically argues that “acceptance” of homosexuality kicks off multiple slippery slopes to mass destruction.
From NYT:
“In a macro environment in which homosexuality is gradually accepted as being normal, child molesting by gays is gradually being viewed as normal in academia. Children who were subjected to sexual abuse only know to socialize with other men through sex. When they grow up, they would do the same to other children by molesting children of the same sex. Therefore, gay people grow in numbers even as most of them do not have children of their own.”
On the stand, his tone did not waver. HuffPo commented on some of his testimony:
Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Hak-Shing William Tam
Filed under: Always Do Your Homework, American Return To God Prayer Movement, Chinese Christians, Envangelical Groups, Hak-Shing William Tam, Hostile Witness, Ignorant Fools, Lawsuit To Overturn Prop 8, Lawsuits, Pedophilia, Prop 8, Prostitution, Same-Sex Marriage, Stupid People, Testimony, The Internet Is A Strange Place, This is Bullshit
DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Taylor Momsen
We know the bar is low for both teenagers and actresses when it comes to awareness of global events and having brains larger than peas and all, but we were still stunned when we read little Taylor Momsen’s response to OK! Magazine’s inquiry about her thoughts on the Haiti earthquake fallout.
Yeah, she's 16.
From OK!
“Um, right now I’m trying to just finish my record and getting through the last season of Gossip Girl for right now. So not so much thinking about that.”
Added Taylor, “But it’s awesome that everyone is ya know working towards a good cause.”
Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Taylor Momsen
Filed under: 7.0 Earthquake In Haiti, Actresses, Haiti, Haiti Earthquake, Huh?, Idiots, Nonsense, People That Must Live In A Fucking Cave, People That Should Never Be Considered Role Models, Resenting the Young, Shock, Taylor Momsen, Teenagers, Wacktresses, WTF?, Young Hollywood
DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! 2009
If you are one of the people that thought last year was UH-MAZING, and was sad to see it go as the clock ticked down to midnight on December 31, you are a very special human being. You should also go kick yourself in the shins–2009 was a stinker for most of us, and your joy just makes people mad.
Okay, look. At least this happened:
Goodbye to the Aughts, or "Era of Shame"
But so did this:
Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! 2009
Filed under: 2009, 2010, Barack Obama, Disgrasian of the Weak, Going Rogue, Looking Back, President Barack Obama, Sarah Palin, Tiger Woods
DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Joe Lieberman
Dear Joe Lieberman,
Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Joe Lieberman
Filed under: Bad People, Dicks, Filibuster, Health Care, Health Care Bill, If Only It had Been Joe Francis' Arm, Joe Liberman, Joe Lieberman Is A Douchebag, Senator Joe Lieberman, This Is Bull Shit, Traitors, Watch It All Burn
DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Tiger Woods
Did too many of Tiger’s low-rent mistresses rise up to tell their tales? Did enough of his sponsors threaten to drop him? We’ll never know. But one of the world’s greatest atheletes has decided to step away from professional golf to focus, finally, on the shit circus that is his life:
Time to think about who counts.
From Tiger Wood’s official site:
I am deeply aware of the disappointment and hurt that my infidelity has caused to so many people, most of all my wife and children. I want to say again to everyone that I am profoundly sorry and that I ask forgiveness. It may not be possible to repair the damage I’ve done, but I want to do my best to try.
I would like to ask everyone, including my fans, the good people at my foundation, business partners, the PGA Tour, and my fellow competitors, for their understanding. What’s most important now is that my family has the time, privacy, and safe haven we will need for personal healing.
After much soul searching, I have decided to take an indefinite break from professional golf. I need to focus my attention on being a better husband, father, and person.
Again, I ask for privacy for my family and I am especially grateful for all those who have offered compassion and concern during this difficult period.
Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Tiger Woods
Filed under: Affairs, Apologies, Dayum, Detroying Your Family, Disrespecting Your Wife, Fucking Around, Fuckups, Golf, Hiatus, Homewrecks, Indefinite Hiatus, Infidelity, Life As A Circus, Low-rentitude, Mistresses, Never the Same, Professional Athletes, Sadness, Tiger Woods, Whoopsieeee
