Reigning breaststroke gold medalist Kosuke Kitajima of Japan showed up at the U.S. Olympic Trials this week, presumably because he’s training in the US and wants to scout his rivals. But this is how I’m picturing things really went down:
Bob Costas appears at Kosuke Kitajima’s pad, dressed as a tiny valet-slash-baby penguin. He’s holding an overstuffed envelope of cash, a list of instructions and a hat box. Inside the hat box is a trucker cap–yes, a trucker cap–bedazzled with a number “1″ in gold sequins.
The instructions, which Costas goes over with Kitajima in flawless Japanese, are as follows:
- Show up at the 100 M Breaststroke Final wearing the hat.
- Keep the hat on at all times.
- Sit in the nosebleed seats like you’re just there to chill with your bros. (Hence the trucker cap.)
- Clap at the appropriate times. If you’re confused as to what constitutes “appropriate” exactly, look around and obtain cues from the crowd.
- Smile inscrutably and somewhat diabolically when the camera’s trained on you.
- Nod your head when Brendan Hansen wins the race to commence his unlikely comeback, as if to say, “Oh yeah, bitch, it’s on.”
- Remember: everyone loves an Asian villain.
Thanks, Jasmine for the gif!!!
Filed under: 2004 Olympics Games, 2008 Olympic Games, Asian Villains, Bob Costas, Breaststroke, breaststrokers, Brendan Hansen, eric shanteau, Everyone Loves An Asian Villain, Kosuke Kitajima, Kosuke Kitajima Shows At US Olympic Trials, Losers, male breaststrokers, NBC, NBC Olympics, olympic rivals, Olympic Trials, The Thrill of Victory The Agony of Defeat, US Swimming, US Swimming Olympic Trials, Winners
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