I am a masochist.
For one, I work in television, and a little too much lately at that (hence the recent lack of blogging), which is an industry clearly suffering from a dearth of powerful Asians. In the Golden People’s absence, idiots reign supreme, and proliferate (Remember the idiot assistant of that other ignoramus that couldn’t coordinate your last conference call? He’s now your executive) like zombies.
I also watched last night’s CNN/Tea Party
Debacle Debate, when I clearly should have been watching Miss Philippines get robbed of the Miss Universe crown instead. What can I say? I love watching that she-devil Michele Bachmann’s hair shimmer in the light.
After all, Bachmann certainly made her mark, making sure to answer as few direct questions as possible and assuring that audiences got a real sense of how Rick Perry has violated hordes of little Texan girls with a “dangerous” HPV vaccine. You’ve gotta hand it to Rick “Lovya Dubya” Perry–he may not know his foot from his head, but he sure knows how to get people scratching their heads… which could, amazingly, get him elected.
Fact is, the show was more a display of theatrics than politics, from the gaudy CNN set to Wolf Blitzer’s ridiculous face, to the candidates’ introductions, to the Perry dogpile, to the overuse of “Obamacare” (like one of Pee-Wee’s secret words), to the sports championship tone of the whole bonanza. I found myself watching the mess as a witness, as if all the loons on the stage were talking about some theoretical country instead of the one I live in, dismissing the needs of this country and cheering for the deaths of uninsured sick people as if such people didn’t exist.
The candidates didn’t say much of anything last night, certainly not about what they might DO if they were to run this country, and the only people I could watch with both eyes were Ron Paul (who always ends up seeming like “the sane one” in a scene of right-wing nutjobs), Jon Huntsman (whose terrible, awkward jokes were a reprieve amidst the madness), and Herman Cain, who I wish had made just a couple of tomato pie references: “Y’know what, Michele, if you were a pizza, you would be cold and coagulated. But saucy!”
Eventually, I just had to turn it off, because I realized that there’s nothing amusing about people making a mockery of leadership in a country you love. Ringing through my head after watching those goobers lie and punch and sidestep and backpedal and bash and burp up whatever desperate ideas they could muster, anything to get elected, were four words of my own: SHAME ON YOU ALL. Well, almost all (see pizza reference above).
AND I’VE LEFT OUT THE MOST SHAMEFUL PART OF ALL, but it must be said: The National Anthem was DEFILED at last night’s CNN/Tea Party Debate. DEFILED.
I mean, honestly. Why do I hurt myself like this?
Filed under: Brutalizing the National Anthem, CNN, CNN Tea Party Debate, CNN's Desperation Makes Me Sad, Election 2012, Godfather's Pizza, Goobers, Herman Cain, HPV Vaccine, I Love Pizza, Jon Huntsman, Lunatics, Michele Bachmann, Miss Philippines, Miss Universe, Mitt Romney, National Anthem, Newt Gingrich, Obamacare, Politics, Presidential Election 2012, Rick Perry, Rick Santorum, Right Wing Nutjobs, Ron Paul, Theatrics, Wolf Blitzer
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