But What Does ‘Japanime Britney’ DO?

June 21st, 2011 | 3 comments | Posted by Diana

Britney Spears at Thursday's Sacramento debut of her North American "Femme Fatale" tour

BRITNEY: Y’all, I can’t believe that opening night of this tour has gone on without an itch! I’m so excited, ladies, I wanna poop my pants!

DANCER (LEFT): Brit, I think what you mean is “off without a hitch.”

DANCER (RIGHT): Yeah, it’s definitely “hitch.”

BRITNEY: Wait, y’all sure? My mama always said without an “itch,” and that makes sense to me ’cause I would never want to get all itchy durin’ a show! Y’know?

DANCER (LEFT): Oh yeah! That makes sense. Maybe we’re wrong.

DANCER (RIGHT): Yeah, maybe we’re wrong. We’ll Wikipedia it later.

BRITNEY: Focus, ladies! We’re rocking “Japanime Britney” right now!!! Can y’all believe that Goco pulled this costume off in a HALF HOUR?

DANCER (RIGHT): Yeeeeeeeeup.

DANCER (LEFT): [cautiously] Girrrl!

BRITNEY: No, like the WHOLE THING.

DANCER (RIGHT): Hunh. I would’ve figured something more along the lines of fifteen minutes.

BRITNEY: Mmm. Well he works REALLY fast.

DANCER (LEFT): What makes it “Japanime?”

BRITNEY: Oh, you know, the kimono… and like, the colors I think? Those are like real umbrellas from Japan or whatever!

DANCER (RIGHT): ARE they now?

DANCER (LEFT): They’re really pretty, Brit.

BRITNEY: Yeah, I was like, “I leave it to you, Goco! You are like a full-on expert in cool Asian-looking stuff!” He designed for L.A.M.B., you know.

DANCER (RIGHT): Oh yeah, we know.

BRITNEY: Maybe we should get you guys to dress up like those heart of juku girls that Gwen owns, next tour!

DANCER (LEFT): Mmm. Maybe.

DANCER (RIGHT): Ooh, I think I have to pick someone up from the airport that day.

BRITNEY: Oh, that’s too bad!

DANCER (LEFT): So wait, why are we dressed up in these kimonos?

DANCER (RIGHT): [rolling eyes] Because we did something bad once.

BRITNEY: Well see, this song we’re dancing to, “Scary,” was a bonus single only released in Japan. So I thought it would be really cute to pay tribune to the Japanese people with this number when we close down the show!

DANCER (LEFT): Oh, paying tribute is awesome!

DANCER (RIGHT): Oh yeah! Like for the earthquake and tsunami victims?

BRITNEY: Yeah, the… wait, the who?

DANCER (RIGHT): [horrified] OH MY GOD.

DANCER (LEFT): [changing the subject] Y’know, I only wish these boots were just a leeeeetle more flattering.

BRITNEY: [sighing] Yeah…

[Extra: First Look At Britney Spears' 'Femme Fatale' Looks]

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3 Responses to “But What Does ‘Japanime Britney’ DO?”

  1. mamazilla says:

    To add another layer of wtf*ckery, former harajuku girl, rino nakasone, choreographed one (maybe more) off the songs for the tour. I LOVE rino. Too bad she has to work w/ some really clueless people.

  2. Jen says:

    @mamazilla I really like Rino too. Girl is gorge and has so much charisma when she dances. It makes me sad that she was a Harajuku Girl.

  3. [...] And by “modernized kimono,” I mean a kimono without a skirt. (Britney Spears wears a similar costume on her Femme Fatale tour.) I was surprised that there weren’t any ninjas included for good [...]

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