BRITNEY: Y’all, I can’t believe that opening night of this tour has gone on without an itch! I’m so excited, ladies, I wanna poop my pants!
DANCER (LEFT): Brit, I think what you mean is “off without a hitch.”
DANCER (RIGHT): Yeah, it’s definitely “hitch.”
BRITNEY: Wait, y’all sure? My mama always said without an “itch,” and that makes sense to me ’cause I would never want to get all itchy durin’ a show! Y’know?
DANCER (LEFT): Oh yeah! That makes sense. Maybe we’re wrong.
DANCER (RIGHT): Yeah, maybe we’re wrong. We’ll Wikipedia it later.
DANCER (RIGHT): Yeeeeeeeeup.
DANCER (LEFT): [cautiously] Girrrl!
BRITNEY: No, like the WHOLE THING.
DANCER (RIGHT): Hunh. I would’ve figured something more along the lines of fifteen minutes.
BRITNEY: Mmm. Well he works REALLY fast.
DANCER (LEFT): What makes it “Japanime?”
BRITNEY: Oh, you know, the kimono… and like, the colors I think? Those are like real umbrellas from Japan or whatever!
DANCER (RIGHT): ARE they now?
DANCER (LEFT): They’re really pretty, Brit.
BRITNEY: Yeah, I was like, “I leave it to you, Goco! You are like a full-on expert in cool Asian-looking stuff!” He designed for L.A.M.B., you know.
DANCER (RIGHT): Oh yeah, we know.
BRITNEY: Maybe we should get you guys to dress up like those heart of juku girls that Gwen owns, next tour!
DANCER (LEFT): Mmm. Maybe.
DANCER (RIGHT): Ooh, I think I have to pick someone up from the airport that day.
BRITNEY: Oh, that’s too bad!
DANCER (LEFT): So wait, why are we dressed up in these kimonos?
DANCER (RIGHT): [rolling eyes] Because we did something bad once.
BRITNEY: Well see, this song we’re dancing to, “Scary,” was a bonus single only released in Japan. So I thought it would be really cute to pay tribune to the Japanese people with this number when we close down the show!
DANCER (LEFT): Oh, paying tribute is awesome!
DANCER (RIGHT): Oh yeah! Like for the earthquake and tsunami victims?
BRITNEY: Yeah, the… wait, the who?
DANCER (RIGHT): [horrified] OH MY GOD.
DANCER (LEFT): [changing the subject] Y’know, I only wish these boots were just a leeeeetle more flattering.
BRITNEY: [sighing] Yeah…
Filed under: Britney Spears, Britney Spears Comeback, Britney Spears Femme Fatale Tour, Britney Spears Scary, Gwen Stefani, Harajuku Girls, Japan, L.A.M.E., Racial Drag, Racial Drag That's Boring, Tsunami, Unflattering Footwear, World's Ugliest Kimono Minis, Zaldy Goco
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