You are currently browsing the archives for June, 2011

Gimme An F! Gimme An I! Gimme An E! Gimme An R! Gimme A C…


As many of you know, I was a cheerleader in high school, and naturally have a soft spot for all things cheerleading. It’s dance, performance and sport in one package, guys. Can’t hate!

But I’ve always been pretty meh when it comes to male cheerleaders. No, I don’t think they’re weenies–quite the opposite. I fully appreciate how instrumental they are in taking cheer stunting and performance to the next level–their strength and athleticism as bases and tumblers totally change the whole game.

But that’s also my issue with cheer dudes. Typically male cheerleaders are extra tough and robot-stiff on the dance floor/field/court/stage… perhaps to prove that, although they do hold megaphones and point a perky “number one” in the air, they’re still swinging big dicks or whatever. They never use pom poms, which are quite possibly my FAVORITE thing cheer has to offer (I challenge you to think of anything happier than a silvery, sassy pom pom!). They wear completely different outfits from their female counterparts, usually primary-hued polyester pants (which is respectable and kind of unavoidable but also violates the uniformity of a squad’s overall look, a result that irks me on an endemic level. I mean, cheer pants?! Whatever!) that suck.

Male cheerleaders can make the argument that they are cheerleaders solely to put their strength and athleticism to work, while getting to shove their hands into the shadowy crevices of the world’s most perfect thighs. But few are on cheer squads to dance and cheer for cheer‘s sake. Not all, but most. And by golly, if somebody’s leading me to cheer, I want it to be for CHEER’S SAKE!

Anyway. The context of my opinion on male cheerleaders is only the tip of the iceberg Continue reading Gimme An F! Gimme An I! Gimme An E! Gimme An R! Gimme A C…

Filed under: , , , , , , , , ,

DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Ai Weiwei’s Pseudo-Sentence Of Silence



Renowned satirical artist and Chinese dissident Ai Weiwei, who disappeared in early April and has been detained under shaky allusions to “economic crimes” by the Chinese government for over two months, has finally been released. After admitting to tax evasian, promising to pay fines, and showing a good attitude in detainment, the outspoken trailblazer is FREE AT LAST.

Free to move freely around Beijing, that is, as long as he notifies authorities every time he leaves the house.

Free, despite the fact that he can’t give interviews, make a peep on social media outlets (with 90k followers, Twitter was a major tool for Ai, who tweeted about disappearing activists, human rights violations, etc. prior to his detainment), or step outside of the city without permission. Though he cheerfully emerged to say hello to reporters and the International community this week, Ai has made it clear that he cannot speak publicly about his investigation or life situation, for “at least a year,” intimating a gag order that authorities won’t confirm.

An activist without a voice? That’s a prison unto itself. Let’s not pretend Ai Weiwei is free when he isn’t.

[via TDB]
[CBS News: Chinese dissident Ai Weiwei free, but silenced]

Source

Filed under: , , , , , , , ,

DISGRASIAN’s Extracurricular Activities

What to do when you’re not studying, calculating your taxes on an abacus, or practicing piano:

Wanna rub elbows with Lisa Lee (formerly of Hyphen), Dawen, Shin-B, Sam Kang and more TONIGHT? Join creative arts production company Bluebook Productions as they celebrate the launch of their web site with a party in Los Angeles. Tickets cost $10, and can be purchased in advance via this link. 21+. [Bluebook Productions - thanks, Lisa!]

To mark the 29th anniversary of the death of Vincent Chin on June 23, 2011, a Chinese American man who was beaten to death in Detroit in 1982, Asian Pacific Americans for Progress are sponsoring the free streaming of Vincent Who? until the end of July 2011 at vincentwhomovie.com. [vincentwhomovie.com - thanks, Curtis!]

 

Filed under: , , ,

Intern Jasmine’s Links Of The Daysian



Apparently, the Sad Keanu meme made Keanu Reeves so happy that he wrote a book about it. [The Guardian]

Quite the Casual Friday: Shanghai man goes to work in his Iron Man suit, which is actually REALLY impressive. [Laughing Squid]

Teen Vogue’s Eva Chen’s personal Tumblr blog is stylish, charming, and totally follow-worthy. [whatever eva wants]

Starlet Tila Tequila recently revealed that she suffers from an eating disorder. [Radaronline.com via Thick Dumpling Skin]

An Aussie newsman attempted to tell the Dalai Lama a joke, which happened to not be funny. But the video is. [Boing Boing]

Pretty B-list, even for B-listers: the wedding of former boy bander Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo will be televised. [PopSugar - thanks, Diana!]

I “dye”! Folks in China are dyeing their pets to look like wild animals, and it’s kinda freakin’ adorable. [CNN - Global Public Square]

Filed under: , , , , , , , , , ,

But What Does ‘Japanime Britney’ DO?

Britney Spears at Thursday's Sacramento debut of her North American "Femme Fatale" tour

BRITNEY: Y’all, I can’t believe that opening night of this tour has gone on without an itch! I’m so excited, ladies, I wanna poop my pants!

DANCER (LEFT): Brit, I think what you mean is “off without a hitch.”

DANCER (RIGHT): Yeah, it’s definitely “hitch.”

BRITNEY: Wait, y’all sure? My mama always said without an “itch,” and that makes sense to me ’cause I would never want to get all itchy durin’ a show! Y’know?

DANCER (LEFT): Oh yeah! That makes sense. Maybe we’re wrong.

DANCER (RIGHT): Yeah, maybe we’re wrong. We’ll Wikipedia it later.

BRITNEY: Focus, ladies! We’re rocking “Japanime Britney” right now!!! Can y’all believe that Goco pulled this costume off in a HALF HOUR?

DANCER (RIGHT): Yeeeeeeeeup.

DANCER (LEFT): [cautiously] Girrrl!

BRITNEY: No, like the WHOLE THING.

DANCER (RIGHT): Hunh. I would’ve figured something more along the lines of fifteen minutes.

BRITNEY: Mmm. Well he works REALLY fast.

Continue reading But What Does ‘Japanime Britney’ DO?

Filed under: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Post-Father’s Day: The Truth About My Hardass Asian Father

Forget Tiger Moms. Growing up, it was my Hardass Asian Dad who was the scary one with all of the obscure rules. No comedies. No cheerleading. No shirts down to there or skirts up to here. Math workbooks and book reports over the summer. Scientific American as required reading–in the 3rd grade. Awkward hugs, if you were lucky, but mostly firm patting on the shoulder and back to show affection.

He could cut you with a look. He could give you the silent treatment for days, weeks even.

And yet, over time, he’s the one who’s gone soft. He’s the one who sends the corny e-cards. He’s the one who cries when my parents watch Korean soap operas together while my Mom gently pokes fun at him. He’s the one who melts at the sight of babies. Even as I write this, he’s downstairs in my house having a Downton Abbey viewing marathon, I shit you not.

Who knew that my Hardass Asian Dad would become this guy?

Cuddly, gentle, hooked on Masterpiece Classics.

The hugs, though, they’re still awkward, so at least I know aliens didn’t snatch his body.

Happy Father’s Day, Dad, you Hardass-Turned-Softie! And to all of you other daddies out there–hardass or no!

Like my Dad’s shirt? It’s from the brilliant and talented Martin Hsu. Buy it HERE.

Filed under: , , , , , , , , , ,

Would You Order From Ching Chong Ling Long Gourmet Takeout?

There’s a new Chinese food delivery service in Westwood–home to the UCLA campus–called Ching Chong Ling Long Gourmet Takeout. It’s a collab between The Palace Restaurant in Brentwood and UCLA Munchies, and it’s an Asian-run business. Ching Chong Ling Long Gourmet Takeout’s name, of course, references ex-UCLA student Alexandra Wallace’s YouTube video “Asians in the Library”–wherein she complained about Asian students talking loudly on their cell phones–and the delivery service indirectly addresses the name choice with this statement on its website:

We believe that the best way to combat intolerance is through a positive cultural experience mixed in with a healthy serving of humor, and hope that after you try us, you too will feel that way.

Lord knows we couldn’t argue with that mission statement. And we did love us some of Continue reading Would You Order From Ching Chong Ling Long Gourmet Takeout?

Filed under: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! British Vogue Isn’t Racist, It Just Thinks We All Look Alike

In December, American Vogue decreed that Asian models are all the rage. Six months later, British Vogue is saying the same thing in its June 2011 issue with Alexa Chung on the cover. (See what they did there? Asians, Asians, everywhere!) This is great and all–that Asians have become the new It Bag–but in hailing the so-called “rise of the Asian model,” British Vogue incorrectly identified Liu Wen, first Asian model to walk in a Victoria’s Secret show and be a face for Estee Lauder, as her Chinese compatriot Du Juan, first Asian model to appear on the cover of French Vogue.

Jezebel pointed out that this case of Mistasian Identity was uncovered the same day that Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! British Vogue Isn’t Racist, It Just Thinks We All Look Alike

Filed under: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

This Guy Loves Hockey Almost As Much As He Loves F*cking Shit Up

We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming to bring you news of hockey. Yes, hockey! A sport that people still watch, care about, and even majorly fuck shit up over!

To wit: After the Vancouver Canucks lost the Stanley Cup to the Boston Bruins Wednesday, hundreds of angry fans in the city of Vancouver went Vancuckoo, rioting, setting cars on fire, and sending 150 people to the hospital for treatment. Nine police officers were injured in the melee, and some officers, according to police chief Jim Chu, suffered “bite marks.” Eesh.

Who knew Canadians even rioted?

For that matter, who knew Asian Canadians rioted?

Sometimes, I prefer when stereotypes go unchallenged.

[via @YourChineseMom]

Source
Thanks, Eukadanz!

Filed under: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Gawker Reports Mark Zuckerberg’s Engaged, Which Leads To A Discussion Of What’s Wrong With Asian Women, Naturally

Mark Zuckerberg is engaged! Maybe. Bill Gates seems to think so anyway, calling Zuckerberg’s longtime girlfriend, med student Priscilla Chan, Zuck’s “fiancee” in a recent interview. Gawker picked up on this, and naturally, naturally, a conversation ensued in the comments section concerning why someone like Cilla would be with someone like Zuck.

THEORY #1: ASIAN WOMEN LOVE UGLY WHITE GUYS


THEORY #2: Continue reading Gawker Reports Mark Zuckerberg’s Engaged, Which Leads To A Discussion Of What’s Wrong With Asian Women, Naturally

Filed under: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Rep. Anthony Weiner’s Dick Pics [NSFW-ish]

Well, we gotta give Rep. Weiner credit for one thing…

…even his penis (X-rated pic-of-pic for the pervs here) leans to the left.

Ba-dum-bum!

However, everything else about Weiner’s overexposed weiner (har-dee-har) is pretty damn annoying. Even the fact that we’re still talking about it is annoying. Sorry, guys!

The thing is, we can’t ignore the fact that “Weinergate” and all that it has inspired (like another fifteen minutes for Andrew Breitbart) had no competition this week in terms of disgrace. After all, it’s hard to beat the trifecta of indignant dishonesty/poor social media skills/betrayal of family, agreed?

All we know is that Weiner has one hell of an apology to prepare for his forthcoming first child. We can only imagine that he’ll deliver it the classy way that the publicly shamed do in this day and age–Twitter! Something like:

Although IOHO, he and his fellow public officials should reeeeeally think twice about EVER hitting that “Tweet” button. EVER.

[HuffPo: Anthony Weiner Press Conference: Admits Sending Racy Pictures, Refuses To Resign]

Source

Filed under: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Asians In Stock Photos: Worst Pillow Fight Ever

CAMISOLE: Tee-hee!

HAIR ELASTIC ON WRIST: Tee-hee!

CAMISOLE: Don’t mess up my hair!

HAIR ELASTIC ON WRIST: You didn’t bring a hair elastic to this pillow fight? That’s like bringing a knife to a…um…I forgot. It’s like…something. Tee-hee!

CAMISOLE: You hit like a girl!

HAIR ELASTIC ON WRIST: You said “don’t mess up my hair”! Make up your mind! Besides, I am a girl!

CAMISOLE: So true! What does that expression even mean? I mean, if you are a girl, you’re supposed to hit like a girl, right? I’m confused!

HAIR ELASTIC ON WRIST: God, I hate it when you get deep! This is supposed to be fun! It’s a pillow fight, remember?

CAMISOLE: You’re right! Thank you for reminding me of what’s important in life!

HAIR ELASTIC ON WRIST: That’s what friends are for! Tee-hee!

CAMISOLE: Tee-hee!

[photo via shutterstock]

Filed under: , , , , , , , , , ,