Step 1: SMILE. Smile when you’re mad, smile when you’re sad, smile when you’re pissed, smile when you’ve been kissed.
Step 2: Always think of the children.
Step 3: Love yo’ mama.
Step 5: Be light on your feet and smooth in your hips.
Step 6: Win whenever possible.
Step 7: If you and a friend are held up at gunpoint by NoHo police due to a mix-up regarding said friend’s Honda Civic, which was mistakenly reported stolen, cooperate like a stand-up citizen. Never devolve into a self-aggrandized asshole jerk that says, “Do you know who I am? Do you know who I am? You wanna how many Super Bowl rings I got, ya fuckin’ pig?? I’m gonna go all James Harrison on your ass!” AND after the incident is cleared up, say nice things to the media about how everything was just a big misunderstanding and the officers involved were just trying to do their job. AW. AWWWWW.
Filed under: Ben Roethlisberger, Blasians, Charity, Dancing With the Stars, DWTS, Hines Ward Is The Adorablest, Hines Ward Korean Mother, James Harrison, Nice Guys, Non-Profits, Pittsburgh Steelers, Smiley Guys, The Fuzz
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