Dan Adler Is The Key-Raziest Congressional Candidate The World Has Ever Seen

May 13th, 2011 | 1 comment | Posted by Jen

What you’re about to see is real. Dan Adler is not a troll. Dan Adler is a Democratic candidate running for a seat in California’s 36th congressional district. Apropos of nothing, Dan Adler’s wife is Korean.

This message was not paid for by Dan Adler for Congress.

So, apparently when you have a hobbit running your congressional campaign, magical things happen.


Gosh, I’m glad you asked, Korean Immigrant Dry Cleaning Lady With Issues! You see, a mensch is a stand-up guy, a person of great integrity. Kinda like a hobbit with less hairy feet.

Oh, and also: a mensch is someone who “gets shit done.” Just ask any Old White Weight Lifting Lady Surrounded by Brown Men in Banana Hammocks!

A mensch produces extremely gifted children. Adler’s mini-mensch may not be able to vote yet, but this little dude is already Half-Man, Half-Amazian!

But there’s perhaps no endorsement more ringing than the one from the hobbit himself, who also, apparently, played football and went by the name “Rudy! Rudy! Rudy!”?

I used to live in the 36th district of California, and I’m sad I don’t anymore, not because I would vote for Dan Adler necessarily, but because its constituents, based on Adler’s ads and the demo he seems to try to be reaching–Korean ladies with issues, Asian dudes with crazy chest tattoos, white ladies pumping iron at Muscle Beach, brown dudes in banana hammocks, Judasian Air Jordans and their nerd herd friends, and football-playing hobbits–are a fucking radtastic, shit-getting-done kinda bunch, aren’t they?

"My Wife Is Korean. My Friends Are Black, White, Latino, and Hobbit."

[Dan Adler for Congress]

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One Response to “Dan Adler Is The Key-Raziest Congressional Candidate The World Has Ever Seen”

  1. TruePhillyCheeseSteak says:

    I read about Mensk in a book called Living your Legacy. They’re hard to find in this world, but you should never let them go.

    I love the video of the Asian American kid in the ad. Despite the obvious lifting animation, it’s nice to see an Asian American uplifted for a change.

    Still, I would suggest that Dan hire a Rahm Emmanuel type to run his campaign. It would run smoother and more efficiently, hitting a broader target than the ones Jen (sorry about misspelling earlier) pointed out.

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