A Hardass Asian Mother’s Day Isn’t Quite Like Other Mother’s Days

May 9th, 2011 | 3 comments | Posted by Jen

I got my mom a nice flower arrangement for Mother’s Day this year, but I didn’t get it together until the last minute, so I paid through the nose for it. I didn’t FTD that shit either–not that I’m judging if you did–because, to me, their arrangements all look like hospital flowers. (Also, I am stupid and like doing things the hard way.) So I found a florist in a fancy schmancy part of Houston who 1) actually picked up the phone late Saturday and 2) would deliver to where my parents live in the middle of nowhere. I also specified that peonies be in the arrangement, because roses are so boring. The delivery to BFN was almost half the cost of the arrangement, and they charged me extra for the peonies, because non-boring flowers don’t come cheap, apparently. Like I said, I like doing things the hard way.

But who cares? It was Mother’s Day. And I love my mama, and she loves flowers.

The Mother's Day Bouquet I Sent: Are those ROSES I see in my GD peony arrangement?

And sure enough, when she received them, she immediately sent me an email to let me know how much she liked them. The subject heading was “Flower of Love” (cue the Huey Lewis song if you’re old like me):

She got them on time! And they were beautiful! And I was thrilled that my mother could feel loved and celebrated without a worry in the world on her special day, which is how all mothers should feel on Mother’s Day.

But clearly, I underestimated my Hardass Asian Mom. Here’s what followed in her email:

See, what I’d almost forgotten is that, unlike the Lord, a HAM never rests, not even on her special day. And if she can get her daughter a discount on something, anything–even the gift her daughter gives her on Mother’s Day–because she has a sixth sense that her daughter paid too much and because, frankly, all Hardass Asian Moms love a discount, then, by golly, she will. Which is just one of the many reasons I love her so.

Happy Hardass Asian Mother’s Day to my mama and all of you other tireless ladies out there!

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3 Responses to “A Hardass Asian Mother’s Day Isn’t Quite Like Other Mother’s Days”

  1. Diana says:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    My sister Phuong and I once got my mama a ridiculous, big-as-a-car arrangement for HAM’s day. I couldn’t stop laughing. It was truly larger than my mom, who is fully a bigger-is-better (as opposed to small quantity, high quality) lady. She pretended she loved it, but apparently spent the next three days hiding from them—she thought it looked like a funeral arrangement!

    Lesson learned. This year, sis and I just took our crazy lady to the casino to be with her ilk, all of the other Gambling Asian Moms. She loved it.

  2. Keith says:

    Diana,

    Were you and the rest of your GAMs out by Pala? My family and the rest of the gambling Asian Mommy horde were out there and when I was entering I thought I saw someone I recognized and I couldn’t figure out where! Were you guys out there on Sunday?

  3. TruePhillyCheeseSteak says:

    I love my HAM. I sent her a card with the word “Mom” in all caps with different attributes interwoven in each of the letters.

    My mom is deeper than the Grand Canyon, broader than the mouth of the Mississippi, and can go farther than an Ethiopian on performance enhancers.

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