You are currently browsing the archives for April, 2011

SELF-VLOGELLASIAN: 5:55 To Get Psyched For Fast Five

Perhaps you noticed–we haven’t blogged much in the last couple of weeks. Why? Because we’ve been key-razy busy counting down the days to today: the theatrical release of the newest Fast And Furious franchise installment: FAST FIVE!*

Thing is, Jen’s like a freakin’ Fast And Furious (Read: hot F&F cast members) expert and I… am not. So she decided to get me up to, ehrm, speed, in just five minutes and fifty-five seconds. Perhaps you, too, need a refresher course before you get Fast tonight? Then see below:

*We have no official connection to Fast Five or the Fast And Furious franchise**
**But oh, how we wish we did!

Thanks, Thomas!

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DISGRASIAN’s Extracurricular Activities

What to do when you’re not studying, calculating your taxes on an abacus, or practicing piano:

Hyphen Magazine is now accepting entries for the fourth annual Asian American Short Story Contest. Judges Yiyun Li and Porochista Khakpour will select ten finalists, and the first prize winner will get $1,000. Submissions are due May 16, 2011. [Hyphen - thanks, Cat!]

Pacific Citizen News Magazine just announced the the winners of their “Extraordinary APA of the Year” Award. The honorees will be featured in the May 6 issue and include such leaders as Senator Daniel Inouye of Hawaii, actress Tamlyn Tomita, and California Chief Justice Tani Cantil-Sakauye. [Pacific Citizen News]

Yoshiki of legendary heavy metal band X Japan will be auctioning off his favorite crystal piano to raise money for Japanese earthquake/tsunami victims. [Yoshiki Foundation America]

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Burger King’s Japanese Meat Monstrosity

Burger King just launched a new sandwich (using the term loosely here) for sale in Japan only:

The MEAT MONSTER: two hamburgers patties, two slices of cheese, a chicken breast, three pieces of bacon, mayo, lettuce, tomato and onion. For those who really want it “their way,” a fish patty, fried egg and teriyaki sauce are all additional options.

Okay, so I’m not even going to talk about the calories in this thing (1160, twice a Whopper’s) or whether anything that is processed, transported, and preserved as much as the items in this kind of fast food can even truly be called “food.” Whether you’re a gelatin-eschewing vegan or a proud meat-on-bone-eater, conscious eating is good eating, from both a moral and pragmatic (Howdy Earth, we’re killing you!) standpoint.

Continue reading Burger King’s Japanese Meat Monstrosity

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This “Bad Mom” Doesn’t Seem So Bad To Us

Last month, single mom and TV producer Winnie Chaffee left her 13 year-old daughter home alone for a week in NY’s Westchester County while she took a job in Taiwan, supplying the girl with pre-made meals, cash, and credit cards. According to her lawyer, Chaffee had wanted to bring her daughter to Taiwan but couldn’t get permission from her daughter’s school to take her out for that amount of time.

After two days in which Chaffee’s daughter was on her own, a friend of the girl’s found out about her situation, told his family, who then took her in and called the cops. When Chaffee returned from her work trip, she was arrested and charged with child endangerment.

The official DISGRASIAN response to this story is that this is terrible, just terrible. What kind of mom does that? What if something bad had happened? What kind of meals did Chaffee leave? Were they delicious? Kidding! This is seriously very serious, and none of this is funny. At all. Thank goodness nothing happened to the girl, and she, as well as her bad mom, will be in our prayers.

Our unofficial response?

Continue reading This “Bad Mom” Doesn’t Seem So Bad To Us

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In Spite Of Everything, Baseball Season Begins In Japan

One month and a day after an earthquake and tsunami devastated northeastern Japan, and even as the nuclear threat level at the Fukushima Daiichi plant was raised to the highest level, baseball season got underway in the beleaguered country Tuesday.

Chiba fans observe a moment of silence before Tuesday's season opener

While one team, the Tohoku Rakuten Golden Eagles, who are based in hard-hit Sendai, won’t return to their home stadium until the end of this month, and teams shift games to daytime and try to drum up enough diesel generators for later in the season to minimize the use of electricity, Nippon Professional Baseball is carrying on for the fans and the country. The AFP reports:

“At a time of national crisis, the role that sports can play is far from small,” the mass-circulation newspaper Yomiuri Shimbun said in an editorial, recalling the terror attacks in the United States of September 11, 2001.

US major leagues resumed play six days after the tragedy, with New York Mets Continue reading In Spite Of Everything, Baseball Season Begins In Japan

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And You Thought Today Was Bad

I once had a coworker that never actually read any books. She did, however, always read the NYT book review section before all social engagements, so that she’d be prepared to converse semi-knowledgeably about the newly released texts creating conversation among reader folks (aka pathologically pretended to be reader folk). I’ve always found this trick to be pretty abhorrent–HOWEVER, we all have our bad days. So I’m gonna hop on the hypocrisy train for just a minute!

Soooooooooo… I haven’t actually read physicist/string field theorist Michio Kaku‘s book, Physics of the Future, which pulls together conclusions about what the world will be like in a century based on interviews with 300 of the world’s top scientists. And maybe that’s a good thing, since NYT’s Dwight Garner found all that science talk to be “dull” and “charmless.” (<– See how I did that there? You’d like, never even know!) I did, however, read Kaku’s essay about 10 of his most fascinating conclusions, which was originally published in the NY Post.

Here are the headlines, via excerpt: Continue reading And You Thought Today Was Bad

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BABEWATCH: Polyester Grandpa

When Intern Jasmine sent us a link to the gent that fashion blogger Mister Mort refers to only as “The Man In The Polyester Suits,” I immediately knew he was this week’s Babewatch babe. For one, I have a weakness for polyester suits, and have owned many in my life (none of which have surfaced in the years that I’ve known Jen, because I’ve secretly believed she would disapprove of my love for synthetic fabrics)–they’re nearly impossible to destroy, always maintain a sharp pleat, are perfect for soul dancing, and always remind me of my grandpa.

But come on, it’s easy to see this grandpa’s multitude of babe-worthy qualities: attention to style and detail, gleeful eyes, ageless skin, lean build, cleanliness, neatness, willingness to play with color, an overall playful vibe and–the best looking thing of all–a good book. After all, a good book in hand is a good look on a man!

Gloves, hat, smile--AMAZIAN!

Continue reading BABEWATCH: Polyester Grandpa

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Thought You And “Ask The Asian Dude” Could Wiggle Out Of This One, TMZ?

TMZ Managing Editor, Harvey Levin

TMZ, which operates under the auspices of AOL News, definitely serves a purpose. In life, there’s always somebody that has to reside in the murkiest layer–the person that denies insurance benefits to cancer patients, the defense attorney that attacks victims in order to save her guilty defendant, the jerk that has to tell little kids that there is no Santa Claus. TMZ is like that person. The supergossip team’s shamelessness allows them to dig deep into the wounds of Hollywood to tell us who’s crazy, who’s dead, who has anal sex with prostitutes instead of their wife, who’s suing their ex, who’s blown all of their money on 8 balls. Without them, we wouldn’t know such things, at least not so quickly and with no tactful filter. It’s questionable whether or not we’d ever want to, but that’s not the point. Bottom line, as I said before: TMZ has a purpose, I guess.

Yesterday, the site posted a segment featuring an on-the-fly “interview” with Sung Kang, one of Jen’s many hot boyfriends and familiar sexyface from the Fast & Furious franchise (You can see him alive again in the upcoming sequel, Fast Five). See below:

Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Thought You And “Ask The Asian Dude” Could Wiggle Out Of This One, TMZ?

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Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior: Because Their Daughters Get Into Harvard, That’s Why

For those of you eagerly awaiting a very public failure from one of Tiger Mom Amy Chua’s prodigy offspring–like a crack cocaine bender or half-naked photos leaked onto the Internet–so that you can feel better about your own parenting-style/feel better about the lax way in which you were parented/feel better about the strict way in which you were parented that weirdly didn’t yield the same sort of results/feel better about the fact that “the Chinese way” isn’t better therefore you don’t have to confront your diminishing place in the global power structure/oh hell, just feel better about yourself in general…

Um, better luck next year?

Because this year, Chua’s Number One Daughter, Sophia (pictured), has been accepted to Harvard–Chua’s alma mater and where she and her invisible husband, Jed Rubenfeld, received their law degrees–despite the fact that the university took only 6.2 percent of its undergraduate applicants for the Class of 2015, which was the lowest admissions rate of all the Ivies. And according to Above the Law, Sophia has already decided to matriculate there as well.

But hey, there’s still time for Lulu–Chua’s Number Two Daughter who teaches her Tiger Continue reading Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior: Because Their Daughters Get Into Harvard, That’s Why

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