12 Reasons To Watch Season 12 Of Dancing With The Stars

March 22nd, 2011 | 3 comments | Posted by Diana

Sure, Dancing With The Stars has lost a few viewers in its old age. Apparently, last night’s Season 12 premiere pulled a smaller audience than expected (by that, I mean 22.3 million viewers), 20% down from the last season.

But it actually gained one viewer: ME (Yes, I’ve tried once before, but couldn’t stick to my guns). Now, for the first time, I watched the first performances live on TV (which I couldn’t even do for the Kate Gosselin and Bristol Palin trainwrecks)–and I think I’m in for the whole season. Why? Because there are SO MANY REASONS to watch this season. Twelve, in fact, right off the top of my head:

Reason #1: Turns out that my football boyfriend and Steelers #86 Hines Ward is light as a feather on his feet, as evidenced by his much-lauded performance with Kym Johnson. I knew it, I knew it, I knew that man could dance! And dear me, is he better to look at without all that football gear. Ward is as smooth a mover as he is fast a runner. He’s as smiley on the dance floor as he is on astroturf. And I know I’m not the first person to make the “Mmn!” sound while looking at his perfect Hines-dquarters, underdig?

Reason #2: Kirstie Alley may huff and puff afterwards, but lady can DANCE. She killed it last night, all the while being hilarious, gregarious, gorgeous AND lovable. Expect comedy gems and stunning performances galore from her.

Reason #3: Cheryl Burke finally has a haircut that doesn’t make us weep.

Reason #4: Judge Len Goodman is SO AWESOMELY BITCHY!

Reason #5: RALPH MACCHIO LOOKS (AND SPEAKS) EXACTLY THE SAME AT AGE 49 AS HE DID DURING THE KARATE KID ERA. We have no idea how that’s possible–perhaps his anti-Agin’ has something to with a decades-long connection to the wonderful magical mystery of Pat Morita. More importantly, he picked up the foxtrot even faster than Daniel-san learned the Crane! Keep an eye on this one. He’s back in a big way.

Reason #6: Sugar Ray Leonard goes by “Ray” and gets visibly nervous before he performs, which is almost too sweet to bear.

Reason #7: “Psycho” Mike Catherwood, currently the non-Dr. Drew half of the Loveline advice team, is hardly a “star”–but hell, he’s way better looking than expected (the guy’s a radio personality, after all), so… yay!

Reason #8: TV Host Wendy Williams cries a lot, which is both amusing and confusing.

Reason #9: It seems likely that the bosoms of either Williams (see Reason #8) or Kendra Wilkinson will pop out during at least one episode. They’re big racks.

Reason #10: Judge Carrie Ann Inaba just gets better and better looking. How does she do that? Somebody tell us now!

Reason #11: The dancing is great.

Reason #12: My Hardass Asian Mom actually requested that I commit to watching DWTS all season long–because she does–and she a) thinks the show is the perfect thing for me to blog about (for reasons she doesn’t quite understand) and b) wants to start making wagers on who will get eliminated, because she’s Asian and Asians are freaks for gambling!!!

[ABC: Dancing With The Stars - Official Site]

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Thanks, Phuong!

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3 Responses to “12 Reasons To Watch Season 12 Of Dancing With The Stars

  1. Cindy says:

    Surely Hine’s Hiney deserves a tag.

    …and my favorite Ralph Macchio spoof of himself:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAtd2r49wFw

  2. anna says:

    Wasn’t Ralph Macchio in a Broadway musical several (many) years back? That might account for his dancing skills.

  3. TruePhillyCheeseSteak says:

    I’m in Hiney heaven :)

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