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To The Person Who Yelled “Konnichiwa, Bitches” During A Moment Of Silence For Japan [WARNING: GRAPHIC PHOTOS]

If there’s a hell, I’d like to imagine there’s a special ring for the American soccer fan who yelled “Konnichiwa, Bitches!” during a moment of silence held before a friendly match between the U.S. and Argentina.

There that soccer fan will be exposed Clockwork Orange-style to the most horrific images from the Japanese quake and tsunami that’s left over 10,000 dead at present count–or, if we’re being realistic, 28,000–to better understand who exactly he is saying hello to:

[WARNING: GRAPHIC]

Continue reading To The Person Who Yelled “Konnichiwa, Bitches” During A Moment Of Silence For Japan [WARNING: GRAPHIC PHOTOS]

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“Like” This: That Asian Boy Chillin’…In Rebecca Black’s “Friday”

He’s only in the video for a split second (at the 1:39 mark), but That Asian Boy Chillin’ With Older Girls In Rebecca Black’s “Friday”–as he’s known on his Facebook page–already has his own burgeoning fan base.

In the About section, he’s described simply as a “Pimp Daddy.” Do his pimp qualities owe Continue reading “Like” This: That Asian Boy Chillin’…In Rebecca Black’s “Friday”

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The Leaked K-Town Sizzle Reel: Mystery Revealed

After all the press, the protests, the heated discussions, the murmurs and the speculasian foisted upon the K-Town reality show since its Craigslist casting notice went out a year ago… there better be some seriously effed up ess when the show finally airs. Like, seriously effed up ess.

But who knows when or where that will be? Although producer Tyrese Gibson and some cast members Twittered about a broadcast deal just before the holidays, there is no confirmation of what net will dare air the wonderful atrocities committed by these golden-skinned hot messes. Thusly, we’re all left hanging until there’s something to set to record on our DVRs.

Or are we? Because apparently, the sizzle reel–a piece of video cut for the purpose of selling the show–has been leaked. And hell, if it’s one iota as juicy as cast member Peter Le’s personal site, we’re, ehrm, pretty interested. So much talk has been talked, so much filming filmed, so much hype hyped—WHAT DIRRTY ANTICS did they shoot to sell this bitch?! Sky’s the limit!

Here it is, from Angry Asian Man:


Continue reading The Leaked K-Town Sizzle Reel: Mystery Revealed

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Intern Jasmine’s Links Of The Daysian



Warner Bros./Legendary Pictures’ live action film adaptation of Akira is on the hunt for actors to play lead roles Tetsuo and Kaneda–apparently, Asian actors need not apply. [Deadline]

Foreign gentlemen must now be 50 years old or younger in order to marry Cambodian women. Oddly, no ban is in effect for foreign women and Cambodian men. [BBC News]

Tiger Woods‘s new girlfriend is rumored to be 22- year-old Alyse Lahti Johnson–an Ohio native with a past Florida DUI conviction. Upgrade!  [Huffington Post]

Censorship or just the Chinese version of AT&T? Apparently, saying the word “protest” twice during a cell phone convo in China will result in a dropped call.  [Mediaite]

ZOMG!!!! PUPPY CONGA LINE! [Urlesque]

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12 Reasons To Watch Season 12 Of Dancing With The Stars

Sure, Dancing With The Stars has lost a few viewers in its old age. Apparently, last night’s Season 12 premiere pulled a smaller audience than expected (by that, I mean 22.3 million viewers), 20% down from the last season.

But it actually gained one viewer: ME (Yes, I’ve tried once before, but couldn’t stick to my guns). Now, for the first time, I watched the first performances live on TV (which I couldn’t even do for the Kate Gosselin and Bristol Palin trainwrecks)–and I think I’m in for the whole season. Why? Because there are SO MANY REASONS to watch this season. Twelve, in fact, right off the top of my head:

Reason #1: Turns out that my football boyfriend and Steelers #86 Hines Ward is light as a feather on his feet, as evidenced by his much-lauded performance with Kym Johnson. I knew it, I knew it, I knew that man could dance! And dear me, is he better to look at without all that football gear. Ward is as smooth a mover as he is fast a runner. He’s as smiley on the dance floor as he is on astroturf. And I know I’m not the first person to make the “Mmn!” sound while looking at his perfect Hines-dquarters, underdig?

Continue reading 12 Reasons To Watch Season 12 Of Dancing With The Stars

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DISGRASIAN’s Extracurricular Activities

What to do when you’re not studying, calculating your taxes on an abacus, or practicing piano:



The Patient Protection and and Affordable Care Act turns one on March 23. Join the Asian & Pacific Islander American Health Forum in showing your appreciation for health care reform, and sign the birthday card they’re sending to Congress. [APIAHF]

Calling all Asians who can “sang” – Simon Cowell’s singing competition that is not “American Idol” is finally coming to the US. Auditions for “The X Factor” begin Saturday, March 26. [FOX]

The Han Benefit Concert takes place in NYC on Friday, March 25. The show is a fundraiser to fight hunger in North Korea, where 1 in 3 children under the age of 5 show signs of malnutrition. Tickets are $18 in advance, $25 at the door. [Han Benefit Concert: Rock to Fight Hunger in North Korea]

Gamers are auctioning off rare video game parapharnalia for the Play For Japan campaign, which is raising money to provide relief for victims of the tsunami in Japan. [Play For Japan]

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Thanks to Andrew, Jack and Minki!

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Bigotry ‘n’ Japan, Post-Tsunami

As you all know, a week ago, an 8.9 earthquake hit off the eastern coast of Japan, unleashing a 23-foot tsunami that so far has claimed 7,000 lives, with another 10,000 still missing (and feared dead). Nearly 400,000 people–a good number of them elderly–have been displaced and are living in shelters. Meanwhile, the damaged Fukushima nuclear plant raised its crisis level from level 4 to 5 out of 7, which, according to CNN, “indicates the likelihood of a release of radioactive material, several deaths from radiation and severe damage to a reactor core.”

In the outpouring of sympathy and support for Japan that came from all quarters, there were those who thought what was happening in Japan was…HILARZ.

There were those who thought what was happening in Japan was from God.

There were those who seemed more concerned with the fate of the Japanese Yen than the Japanese people, and then there were those who felt very strongly that Japan finally got what was coming to them. They took to Twitter with their talk of “payback” and “karma” for Pearl Harbor, atrocities committed against other Asian countries during WWII, the killing of whales and dolphins.

And the people expressing these sorts of sentiments haven’t just been randos with too much time on their hands, they’ve been well-known and famous, with huge followings on Twitter, radio, and TV.

Below is a list of the last week’s most notable offenders:

50 CENT

Tweeted last Friday by the rapper to his 4 million+ followers:

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BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Sometimes You Just Don’t Feel Like Partyin’, Partyin’ (Yeah!)

DISGRASIAN turned 4 earlier this month, and we didn’t celebrate it with Sichuan food and bowling (like our first birthday), a fine old bottle of Scotch (like our second), or a post in which we admitted–for possibly the first and probably the last time–that we are sometimes wrong about stuff (like our third). We didn’t even mention it to each other!

There’s always a teeny bit of discomfort that comes with a birthday–a heart sigh from being another step closer to the end, whatever “the end” may be. Some bewilderment about where you are, what you’re doing, disbelief that you’re only this far (or already too far). A bit of grief for the way things aren’t anymore, for the people that aren’t anymore, for the dreams that you have put to bed.

And that applies to a blog birthday, too. After all, four years is a long-ass time on the Internetz (Reading this, 10-year-old Angry Asian Man will likely roll his eyes and flip us the bird). But seriously, in 2011, who the eff is Sanjaya Malakar? And when was the last time we wrote about crazypants Tila Tequila? And have we run out of things to say about Gwen Stefani? (Probably, as her DISGRASIAN solo singing career seems to have stalled.)

While it’s certainly a relief to move on to more au courant items like, say, Rebecca Black’s awferful “Friday” song that we can’t stop fucking singing aloud (hence, the title of this post) and the inscrutable spelling habits of the Tea Party, it’s hard to think that we’ll never, for example, write about a new Guitar Hero edition (we were actually too sad to write about the death of our favorite all-ages pasttime on the blog) ever again. Maybe it makes just makes us feel old. Holy fudge, we ARE old!

Let me restate: This whole birthday thing makes us feel old, because we are.

And the reason I’m saying all of this? Because I love this Japanese YouTube cat, who seems about as stoked to be birthdaying it up as we are.

Continue reading BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Sometimes You Just Don’t Feel Like Partyin’, Partyin’ (Yeah!)

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Alexandra Wallace Knows Jack About The Internet

But you already knew that, right? Because if Ms. Wallace had any understanding of how the Interwebz works, she might have anticipated the overwhelming and overwhelmingly negative response her video “Asians In The Library” would receive and nipped–no pun intended–the idea in the bud, continuing her college career instead in the usual quiet, polite, epiphanic-manner in which she’s clearly always conducted herself.

Further evidence of her ignorance–web-related and otherwise–surfaced today in Wallace’s hometown paper, The Sacramento Bee, in which it was revealed that Wallace’s father had written on his Facebook page last Friday morning, around the time Wallace posted the video:

“My daughter wants to start a blog. She’s asking for domain suggestions for ‘Asians on their cellphones in the library!’ She’s shooting videos as I write.”

“ASKING FOR DOMAIN SUGGESTIONS”???

Okay, look. I’m not even taking issue with the fact that she at some point thought making “Asians In The Library” into some kind of serial thing was a good idea or that she thought her dad would be the most appropriate counsel for matters pertaining to the youngs or even that her dad didn’t judge her blog idea to be totally racist and wack and think to intervene with a little fatherly advice–but, while we’re on the subject, what up with that?–I’m taking issue with the fact that THE DOMAIN SUGGESTION WAS RIGHT UNDER HER GODDAMN NOSE AND SHE COULDN’T SEE IT.

Continue reading Alexandra Wallace Knows Jack About The Internet

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ROCK OF ASIAN: Jimmy Wong’s Response to Alexandra Wallace Is Even Catchier Than Rebecca Black’s “Friday”

There will, heaven willing, be a million and one video responses to Alexandra Wallace’s now-infamous rant about Asians in the library. The racism, ignorance, and overall stupidity of the video have been–due to the rapidfire responses of whip-smart netizens–in many ways reclaimed or reappropriated. Also, like it or not, “Ching chong ling long ting tong” has (rather ironically) been cemented in the Asian American vernacular (and we have the t-shirts to prove it).

But I must say that the best counterattack of Ms. Wallace’s awfulness isn’t an attack at all. It’s a love song.





I literally have not stopped singing this chorus for over 24 hours, and I have to admit I kinda don’t feel so angry anymore. All I wanna do is hug on Jimmy Wong.

Jimmy Wong*, FTW. ForThefuckingWin.

*Did you know: This is AMAZIAN Freddie Wong‘s bro? Coolest, funniest, awesomest, rockingest family EVAR.

[YouTube: Jimmy Wong's Channel]

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Thanks, everybody (lots of you love this video)!

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‘Asians In The Library’ And ‘God Is So Good,’ DISGRASIAN-style

As some of you know, our site was down yesterday.

And unlike most Monday mornings, where the most disturbing thing greeting us first thing is our weekend hangovers, there was so much bad shit going on in the world.

In other words, so much bad shit to blog about.

There was the ongoing tragedy taking place in post-earthquake, post-tsunami Japan.

There was the ongoing tragedy taking place on Twitter, enacted by randos and well-known players alike–50 Cent, Gilbert Gottfried, the WNBA’s Cappie Poindexter, Family Guy writer Alec Sulkin–that made fun of the ongoing tragedy in Japan.

And, of course, there were also those two viral videos. The one about Asians in the library from UCLA student Alexandra Wallace, and the one about God punishing Japan with the earthquake because it’s a country of atheists (which has since been revealed as a hoax and the work of a troll).

Like we said: SO MUCH BAD SHIT.

So how, in a moment like this, could the Internet betray us and leave us without a forum to air out our grievances? Normally, we’d blame evil gnomes–which a friend suggested look exactly like Arcade Fire–but this was different. This was bigger.

Continue reading ‘Asians In The Library’ And ‘God Is So Good,’ DISGRASIAN-style

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! The ‘Asianate Yourself’ Facebook App

So, there’s this Facebook app called “Asianate Yourself,” where you can make yourself Asian, which some people find offensive, especially since the app was created by a Hong Kong-based soy sauce company that should know better, but as people who came into this world already “Asianated,” can we just say that we totally get it?

I mean, if people wanna be us, I can’t blame them. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em, right?

That said, the Asianate app sucks balls. For one thing, there’s nothing “Urban Asian” about sumo. Actually I have to admit that I don’t even know what “Urban Asian” means. Is that, like, as opposed to “Jungle Asian,” like Diana (yes, I know this is a slur but Diana’s owning it so maybe you should too)? Or is “Urban” the roundabout way of saying “Morbidly Obese” when applied to Asians, the way it’s the roundabout way of saying “Black” when applied to African-Americans?

And that’s the other thing. Why would you Asianate yourself right into Body Dysmorphic Disorder? Asianated people can’t deal with that shit. None of our Asianated aunties–who’d be the first to tell us at our family reunions we’ve gotten fat–would approve.

What they would approve of, however, is Asianating yourself into…

Our boyfriend Daniel Dae Kim!

Continue reading DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! The ‘Asianate Yourself’ Facebook App

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