An advisory warning for our younger readers…
If you’ve got Hardass Asian Parents, keep them away from this article:
Why? Because it makes the case that your guardians’ two great loves–a good school and a saved buck–can live in perfect harmony. There’s a reason why Mom has us Xerox the guide to winning scholarships at the library (she sure as heck won’t let you order it on Amazon), why Dad buys us a dozen extra math workbooks but no new school clothes, why they won’t pony up $70 bucks for prom tickets but somehow find a way to shell out a grand on science camp.
They’re cheapasses. Smart cheapasses. Smart cheapasses that only care about one thing–that we get into a good school and become wildly successful so they can brag about us at parties to their friends (although, if one becomes too wildly successful, and tries to share some rewards with Mom and Dad via a salon cut ‘n’ color or nice appliances to replace their shitty/old/patched-up appliances or an expensive bottle of wine at a nice dinner or a weekly cleaning lady to save their aching backs, they’ll call out their wildly sucessful progeny for being wasteful, arrogant, condescending and ungrateful. Just something to keep in mind).
If your Cheapass Asian Parents get a peek at this article, you may find yourself milling around upstate New York with a major in naval architecture at the Webb Institute, simply because your mom found out you could go there for free. Never you mind that fantasy you’ve always had of studying “Comparisons between Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales and 1970s Blaxploitation horror films” at the NYU Gallatin School of Individualized Study.
Seriously. Forget it.
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