ROCK OF ASIAN: David Choi’s “Please Don’t Touch My Junk” TSA Song

November 23rd, 2010 | 5 comments | Posted by Jen

For all of you unlucky bastards who have to fly this Thanksgiving, here are a few tips to make your travel less painful:

  1. The new full-body scanners are safe, according to experts.
  2. If you opt out of the full-body scan, you will be subjected to an “enhanced” pat-down procedure.
  3. Every TSA officer has received 8 to 12 hours of training on the enhanced pat-down.
  4. If PDA freaks you out, you can choose to have the enhanced pat-down in private.
  5. Snow globes are not allowed on the plane.
  6. You can download David Choi’s “Please Don’t Touch My Junk” for free to listen to while you’re stuck in that horrible, junk-touching airport security line:

[CNN: A primer on the new airport security procedures]
[David Choi Music]

Source

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5 Responses to “ROCK OF ASIAN: David Choi’s “Please Don’t Touch My Junk” TSA Song”

  1. prometheus says:

    Hrmm, guess I’ll opt for the pat-down unless it’s the radio scanner. Wikipedia seeds some fear of the radio scanner because supposedly some studies had shown that ‘tetra-hertz radiation’ could be bad for DNA, but at the same time says that millimeter radio wave scanners are sub-tetra-hertz.

  2. Cindy says:

    I waiting for the “gay panic” defense to be used by some guy freaking during the same gender pat down.

  3. johnminh says:

    I was thinking about booking a flight to anywhere just so I could get a patdown–that would have been the closest I would have come to sexual contact in a looong time. :p

  4. [...] ROCK OF ASIAN: David Choi's “Please Don't Touch My Junk” TSA Song … [...]

  5. Liu Jing says:

    #6 would only make it worse. If you want something a little less listless but still by-the-numbers go with an ol standby like the Fixin to Fly Rag.

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