Harvard Sucks

November 19th, 2010 | 5 comments | Posted by Jen

A prank Yale pulled at the 2004 Harvard-Yale game

Harvard sucks.

Yes, I went to Yale, so I’m supposed to say that. But, no, really, Harvard sucks. Because, in advance of the Harvard-Yale game this weekend–aka “The Game”–Harvard comedy group, On Harvard Time, put out a video spoofing “Why I Chose Yale,” that singing-and-dancing Yale admissions video that made the rounds earlier in the year, only instead of just targeting the university, the Harvard spoof made fun of poor people in New Haven–which has the second-highest poverty level in CT and where 1 in 4 families live below the line–and mocked poverty’s attendant issues, like crime and homelessness.

Watch here:

Now, it doesn’t take a Harvard education to know that poverty really fucking sucks. But apparently it takes a Harvard education to think it’s hilarious!

(Sidenote: The majority of New Haven’s poor also happen to be people of color. Make of that what you will.)

Also hilarious: murder! The On Harvard Time video originally included a joke about the murder of Yale grad student, Annie Le–”What happened to that girl that got murdered and stuffed in a wall?” went the line around the :55 mark–which was subsequently changed after Yale students publicly expressed outrage.

Don’t get me wrong. Yale sucks too. Its admission video that On Harvard Time was spoofing is like this 17 minute black hole of nonstop suckitude. It’s corny and embarrassingly earnest and I don’t believe for a second that it was intended as “camp.”

Watch here:

The worst thing about it is that Yale is, in part, not so different from what you see in this admissions video, with people singing and jazz-handing all over the place. I know this firsthand, because I was in a singing group as an undergrad. So, yes, that means I, too, majored in suckology.

So this whole Harvard-Yale rivalry thingy? It sucks like an electrolux. It’s funny that the On Harvard Time spoof was posted to stir up school pride before “The Game,” not because “The Game” is “just a football game,” but because it’s precisely not a football game, but, instead, four quarters of overblown jocksucking. If you’ve ever been to a real tailgate or watched any real football, you know how much “The Game” sucks cocksicle by comparison. (I’m from Texas, which we can all agree sucks Tex-ass, no argument from me there, but I do know from football.) “The Game” is cold, sloppy, and not particularly memorable, kind of like a bad date where you decide midway through that you should get drunk during to try and salvage the night when, in fact, that only makes it suck worse than smooth jazz.

My point is: Harvard, Yale, whatever, we all suck, people.  If we get over these fake perceived differences between us, I’m pretty sure we can find common ground.

Like, for example, how most of all, Princeton sucks hairy balls?

[HuffPo: Harvard Parodies "That's Why I Chose Yale," Makes Annie Le Barb (WATCH)]

Thanks, Jasmine!

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5 Responses to “Harvard Sucks”

  1. mellowyel says:

    “Like, for example, how most of all, Princeton sucks hairy balls?” LOLZ TRUTH! (Yeah, I went to Yale too… *slinks away quietly*)

  2. farleyk says:

    Now, now. If it wasn’t for Harvard, we in the area would not have a convenient school name to insert into conversation when we are performing a satirical upper-crusty diatribe against someone or something. And, their campus does provide a nice place to walk the dog. The Hasty Pudding is kinda interesting every year, too.

    But, for awesome and self-deprecating pranks, no one beats MIT. Their hacks are famous (http://hacks.mit.edu/) in the area, and rightly so. Amazingly, they do this without resorting to douchebaggery.

  3. [...] Horrible on? Why, jokes about poor people and murder, of course! As Disgrasian’s Jen Wang noted a few days ago, this video by On Harvard Time set out to poke fun at a music video released by the [...]

  4. BusyDad says:

    Our common ground? Being introduced my your grandmother to every one she knows as “this is ___. S/he went to ____”

  5. Jen says:

    @BusyDad And you forgot: “S/he sucks at ___, ___, and ___.”

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