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Network TV, The Great White Hope

CONGRATULASIANS TO MAGGIE Q!!!

Lovely, leggy Q

Her show, Nikita, is now the only scripted network show starring a person of color who isn’t in an ensemble! She’s made it through the great white gauntlet! Phhhhhhhheeww.

Well that’s pretty fuckin’ sad, now isn’t it?

[Charlotte Observer: It's Still Pretty Pale At The Top]

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AMAZIANS OF THE WEEK! The Tran Family USA

The story could’ve seemed a little sketchy. An Aussie named James West was cc’d on an American Tran family’s emails for three years (there is, in fact, an American “Jimmy” West related to the family). And though he generally trashed the emails as SPAM, this year, he got interested. He read through a thread as it built up to the Thanksgiving holiday–intrigued by talk of famous deviled eggs, “hoppy” beer and cheese broccoli casserole–and realized something: he wanted to attend the Tran family Thanksgiving. More importantly, he had to track down the Trans, and fast.

But he couldn’t just creepily stalk the family, he had to come clean first. If you’re going to pursue a strange family, you have to do it out in the open. So he took to YouTube:

In one of the most interesting social experiments of recent times, West documented his search for the family as he raced against the clock in order to hop on a plane to Florida in time for Turkey Day, if only to figure out what “Stove Top” was–all while building a supportive groundswell among the YouTube community.

Not only did he find them, but they welcomed him into their home for what seemed like a truly lovely Thanksgiving dinner. A happy ending indeed!

Continue reading AMAZIANS OF THE WEEK! The Tran Family USA

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Singapore’s Water Polo Team Raises The Banana Hammock Game To A New Level

At the Asian Games in Guangzhou last week, the Singapore water polo team revealed a new swim trunk design based on its country’s flag that had people back home crying desecrasian.

The government deemed the banana hammocks “inappropriate,” and some of its citizens found them “disgusting,” “nauseating,” and “disgraceful.”

Continue reading Singapore’s Water Polo Team Raises The Banana Hammock Game To A New Level

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Thank You For Being Our Friends



There’s the kind of gratitude that takes awhile to set in: “Hardass Asian Family, thank you so much for decades of judging me harshly, undercutting my achievements, and scoffing at my pursuit of the liberal arts so that one day, my friend and I might bond over such upbringings, commiserate loudly, and start a pale yellow website barking about shit.”

But some thankfulness takes no time to realize. And when it comes to you, dear friends and readers, please know that we appreciate you every single day. Thank you for your eyeballs. Thank you also for the endless support, tech help, injections of energy, tips, comments, tweets, retweets, Diggs, shares, stories, tears, empathy, hookups, handouts, action items, fightin’ words, witty epiphanies, challenging questions, care packages, moments of clarity, rad tunes, cute tees, utter brilliance, complete excellence, and total awesomeness.

WE ARE SO GRATEFUL FOR YOU ALL! HAPPY THANKSGIVING, DISGRASIAN NATION.

xoxo
Diana and Jen

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And thanks for another great year, Jasmine!

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Palin’s Nailin’ It

Blame the Sarah Palin Media Blitz (2010 Edition), but the former governor of Alaska is a big ticket item in the news today. And not just because she’s peddling that new book or officially declaring a run for presidency (President Palin? That event would be so cataclysmic and shameful that just posting the words could implode the DISGRASIAN server). Thank goodness.

Instead, mills were a-buzzin’ when Dancing With The Stars judge Carrie Ann Inaba dished with Access Hollywood about meeting Ms. Palin at the Dancing finale:

I did meet [Sarah] because, you know, my dad loves her,” Carrie Ann told Billy Bush and Kit Hoover, of Bristol’s mom. “So, I went and introduced myself. I was like, ‘My dad loves you, so, I have to say hello.’

“And you know what? She’s so charming!” Carrie Ann laughed. “I was like, ‘Girl crush!’”

The “crush” continued as Carrie Ann noticed a new glow emanating from “The Pistol’s” Mama Grizzly.

“She’s really nice. And I think she spray-tanned for the finale!” Carrie Ann exclaimed. “One of the crew guys came up and he goes, ‘Look at Sarah. Do you think she spray-tanned?’ And I looked at her and I’m like, ‘I think she did!’

This is important because truth be told, Jen and I have always wondered how Palin maintains her warm and ruddy glow living all the way in gloomy Alaska! Like, totally, Carrie Ann! GIRL CRUSH! La dee dah!

In other news, Sarah Palin was on the Glenn Beck radio show today and, until corrected by Beck’s co-host, sputtered on a bunch of her usual policy nothings while criticizing the current White House stance on North Korea. Continue reading Palin’s Nailin’ It

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Something To Be Thankful For: Kamala Harris Wins CA Attorney General’s Race

So what if police-endorsed Steve Cooley declared victory in California’s race for Attorney General on November 2? The ballots kept coming in and continued to be counted, revealing that the person who most Californians punched in for was in fact Kamala Harris.

This morning, Cooley called Harris to concede and congratulate her on her victory. Campaign consultant Kevin Spillane told LAT:

“Frankly the margin is just too great to be made up with the votes that remain to be counted.”

Which means that the state has elected both a Governor and Attorney General who stand fully behind LGBT equality and will refuse to defend Prop 8 in court. Perhaps now, California has a shot at shedding its reputation as one of this country’s most shametarded states. Perhaps.

[via LAT]

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ROCK OF ASIAN: David Choi’s “Please Don’t Touch My Junk” TSA Song

For all of you unlucky bastards who have to fly this Thanksgiving, here are a few tips to make your travel less painful:

  1. The new full-body scanners are safe, according to experts.
  2. If you opt out of the full-body scan, you will be subjected to an “enhanced” pat-down procedure.
  3. Every TSA officer has received 8 to 12 hours of training on the enhanced pat-down.
  4. If PDA freaks you out, you can choose to have the enhanced pat-down in private.
  5. Snow globes are not allowed on the plane.
  6. You can download David Choi’s “Please Don’t Touch My Junk” for free to listen to while you’re stuck in that horrible, junk-touching airport security line:

[CNN: A primer on the new airport security procedures]
[David Choi Music]

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What It Means When North Korea Is Performing ‘Maintenance’ On Its Server

This is what currently comes up on your screen when you visit “The Official Webpage of The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea”:

TRANSLATION: “The server is currently unable to handle the request due to a temporary unloading of ‘maintenance’ on the South Korean puppet group’s island territory. The implication is that this is a temporary condition that will be alleviated after our enrichment of enough uranium to bomb a bitch’s ass if we feel like it is completed.”

[Reuters: North Korea shells South in fiercest attack in decades]
[Official Website of North Korea]
[AP: Scientist: NKorea has 'stunning' new nuke facility]

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What Bristol Palin’s Success On DWTS Forecasts For 2012

As Bristol Palin heads into the finals of Dancing With the Stars tonight, everyone wants to know what her being in the top 3, despite consistently receiving the worst scores from the judges–and the fact that she could, like, OMG, “totally win”–means in the big picture. You know, the big picture of Tea Parties, Mama Grizzlies, and unseating a Socialist President in 2012?

Does it mean the Tea Party is more organized than non-wackjob political, er, establishments?

Does it mean there will be more voter fraud in 2012?

Does it mean Sarah Palin will be our next Mama Grizzly-in-Chief???

Continue reading What Bristol Palin’s Success On DWTS Forecasts For 2012

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AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Dianne Feinstein

Name: Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-CA)

Hails from: The Golden State

Occupation: Senior U.S. Senator

Known for: Being effective. After forty-one years in elected public office, Feinstein can be recognized for countless benchmark events in her career. But this week in particular, Feinstein should be lauded for her role in preventing student Steve Li’s deportation to Peru with a private bill introduced on Friday.

A quick refresher on Steve Li: The 20-year-old nursing student’s parents, Chinese nationals, fled their home country to Peru in the 1980s to avoid the country’s 1-child policy.  Steve was born in Peru, but at age 12, brought to live on a visa with his parents in the United States. Li’s parents sought political asylum, which was denied in 2003. The family continued to live in the United States illegally, although Steve was unaware of his illegal status. As a result, Steve and his parents were all arrested earlier this year, held for two months in detention facilities, and set up to be deported–his mother and father to China, and him to Peru where he no longer has any family. Steve’s parents were not allowed to accompany him to Peru. Notably, Li, a model citizen and scholar, would qualify for a green card to stay in the U.S. if the DREAM Act were to pass–and with this in mind, Feinstein intervened.

From the Senator’s private bill:

Continue reading AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Dianne Feinstein

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DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Tony Chan, Sometimes Ya Gotta BS The BSer

This man’s limo driver apparently overcharged him by 800 grand:

Too rich to notice: it took months for Tony Chan to notice the $800k missing from his pocket

…so why are we looking at his toothy mug instead of the guy at the wheel?

Well, there’s no denying that the crime allegedly committed by Chan’s driver, Peter Rahhaoui, was wrong. Stealing from anybody, no matter how wealthy, is definitely not okay. So if Rahhauoi is found guilty, it’s slammertime.

But is it possible that this driver, currently pleading not guilty to the offense, is in fact a kind of shadowy, uncelebrated hero–like a less bloodthirsty, NYC version of Dexter, and was simply doing his part as a vigilante scam artist in order to keep the world in balance?

From NY Mag:

“…back in Hong Kong, Chan’s own credibility has been called seriously into question. Chan is accused of faking the will of his mistress, late Hong Kong property magnate Nina Wang, who was reportedly worth $4.2 billion at the time of her death in 2007. She was then the richest woman in Asia. A self-proclaimed feng shui master, Chan began his relationship with Wang as a design consultant and soon became her lover — despite a two-decade age difference. He carried on his affair with her even as his own wife became pregnant and bore a son (who Chan named, wonderfully, “Wealthee”). After Wang’s death, Hong Kong authorities allege Chan forged a will naming him the sole heir to her fortune.”

Not saying Chan deserved to be swindled, or that he’s guilty of anything that hasn’t been proven. Okay, maybe if guilty of all things above, he deserved it a liiiiittle bit.

And if he’s this careless with dough and hiring, maybe Jen and I should be working for him.

[via NYMag]
[BBC News: Appeal In Hong Kong Over Nina Wang's fortune]

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Harvard Sucks

A prank Yale pulled at the 2004 Harvard-Yale game

Harvard sucks.

Yes, I went to Yale, so I’m supposed to say that. But, no, really, Harvard sucks. Because, in advance of the Harvard-Yale game this weekend–aka “The Game”–Harvard comedy group, On Harvard Time, put out a video spoofing “Why I Chose Yale,” that singing-and-dancing Yale admissions video that made the rounds earlier in the year, only instead of just targeting the university, the Harvard spoof made fun of poor people in New Haven–which has the second-highest poverty level in CT and where 1 in 4 families live below the line–and mocked poverty’s attendant issues, like crime and homelessness.

Watch here:

Now, it doesn’t take a Harvard education to know that poverty really fucking sucks. But apparently it takes a Harvard education to think it’s hilarious!

(Sidenote: The majority of New Haven’s poor also happen to be people of color. Make of that what you will.)

Also hilarious: murder! The On Harvard Time video originally included a joke about the murder of Yale grad student, Annie Le–”What happened to that girl that got murdered and stuffed in a wall?” went the line around the :55 mark–which was subsequently changed after Yale students publicly expressed outrage.

Don’t get me wrong. Yale sucks too. Its admission video that On Harvard Time was Continue reading Harvard Sucks

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