YOKO ONO: And today, ladies and gentlemen, a very special guest. We recently made acquaint–
LADY GAGA: LADY GAGA IS HERE!
YOKO ONO: Yes, a remarkable young woman with a very, ah, artistic–
LADY GAGA: ARE YOU LISTENING TO US, LA???
YOKO ONO: I am so very pleased to meet her, the work this performer has done to make a statement about real issues, like–
LADY GAGA: ARE YOU LISTENING?!?!?!?!
YOKO ONO: We are going to take a short break I think.
LADY GAGA: We are?
YOKO ONO: Step to the side of the stage.
LADY GAGA: (Quietly) Um. I really like your hat, Yoko.
YOKO ONO: As do I. It has an anchor on it, of course.
LADY GAGA: Today, my look is all about–
YOKO ONO: Your getup is Cher, yes? You are Cher? But with a dog collar for your forehead?
LADY GAGA: Well, um, the bedazzles go all the way to my fingertips.
YOKO ONO: You are Cher or Madonna today, right?
LADY GAGA: Well, I like to think of myself as an individual.
YOKO ONO: Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!
LADY GAGA: I do.
YOKO ONO: Oh, you kids today. I was saying that to, oh what was it, Katy Perry, the other night…
LADY GAGA: I am NOT the same as Katy Perry!!
YOKO ONO: Oh, of course you aren’t dear. She’s very tall.
LADY GAGA: She’s like, nowhere NEAR–
YOKO ONO: I mean, added up all together, you and I are probably five feet tall.
LADY GAGA: That is–
YOKO ONO: Actually, now that I’m looking at you, you seem shorter than I thought. Like a fluffy dog that becomes very small in a bath. Perhaps together we are four feet tall. Your shoes are 3 feet high but you are the size of a human thumb.
LADY GAGA: These are McQueen.
YOKO ONO: Fabulous, fabulous. These shoes are made from the recycled tires of UN vehicles.
LADY GAGA: I…
YOKO ONO: Hmm…
LADY GAGA: Would you like to sing a song?
YOKO ONO: Yes, I have been working on my screeches all morning!
LADY GAGA: Ok great. Ok, great.
YOKO ONO: Seriously, how tall are you, really?
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