I have two male cousins that were born to and raised by the most intense woman I’ve ever met–my mom’s oldest sister. She’s my tough-as-nails, crazy-as-a-chicken, Hardass Asian Aunt and one Meanass Asian Mom. She probably thinks General McChrystal is a total pussy. Lady is intense.
In my aunt’s house, no drinks were consumed by children before their entire dinner (like a two-gallon bowl of Pho) was completely finished. Football games were not attended. Slumber parties were off limits. Piano was practiced at least two hours a day. The icing on the cake? No birthdays were celebrated, either. No parties, no presents, nothin’.
I always imagined that if I had grown up in that house, I would have spent most of my time huddled in my bedroom, pretending to study or folding my clothes. In my alone time I would’ve thrown myself countless imaginary birthday parties, given myself infinite imaginary gifts, blown out hundreds of imaginary birthday candles. Why? Because sometimes it’s nice to celebrate being alive.
Anyway, the moral of this story is… well, there is no moral. And, to be perfectly honest, my parents threw me lots of nice birthday parties, and as a result I have blown out A LOT of trick candles in my day. I didn’t have to throw myself imaginary parties. But that doesn’t mean I can’t give myself a birthday present, because dammit, it’s my birthday today! Woohoo!
And I give myself… LANCE:
Oh, I love him! Thank you, thank you, thank you, Diana!
Filed under: 4-year-old Lance plays 'What A Wonderful World' On Ukelele, Amazian Jr., Awesome Gifts, Birthday Presents, Birthdays, Celebrasians, Gen. McChrystal, Hardass Asian Aunts, Hardass Asian Moms, Imaginasian, Meanass Asian People, ukelele, What A Wonderful World
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