A Literary Situation

October 21st, 2010 | 7 comments | Posted by Diana

For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to write a book. At age three, in cursive on construction paper, I wrote tables of contents for imaginary novel chapters. From fifth to eighth grade, I created dozens of terrible young adult fiction book outlines that inspired too-long scribbled “Chapter Ones” in loose leaf notebooks. During high school, I attempted to write poetry collections about my non-existent love life and glamorized ideals of solitude. In college, I would study in the University library and take my breaks strolling through my favorite aisles–particularly the 20th century non-fiction texts, running my fingers over the books’ textured spines and gazing with love over the letters that spelled out titles and author names horizontally, like vertebrae.

As a grown-up writer, I think differently about the idea of publishing a book. I would still love to write one (perhaps with Jen, who is a far better scribe than I), but I now unfortunately know all the other stuff that goes along with the endeavor: book proposals and agents and publishers and politics and big-selling Christmas seasons and the word “niche” and writing from the inside and redundancy and timeliness and nervous breakdowns and writer’s block and what-about-my-other-projects and maybe-I-just-can’t-fucking-do-this and wouldn’t-it-just-be-easier–and-faster-to-have-our-twitterfeed-optioned-as-a-lame-William-Shatner-sitcom. I mean, hell, real writers are miserable for a reason.

That said…

Whenever somebody I know publishes a book, particularly a second or third (God help me if I ever befriend Mr. Chopra), my chest heaves a little. I’m jealous. I’m really, really jealous. I’m obviously proud and happy for them, I probably love their book and can’t wait to get my copy signed–but I’m also cringing inside, mad at myself for not realizing such an important dream, even though I arguably write thousands of words every week. Bloggers publish words on a virtual page that isn’t really a page; it doesn’t smell of ink and paper, you can’t dogear it, you can’t lend it to a friend and ask for it back. There’s just something about a book.

That said…

When I see something like this:






…I start to wonder if I need to re-think everything. EVERYTHING.

[via Dlisted]
[The Superficial: The Situation Has A Book Cover]

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7 Responses to “A Literary Situation”

  1. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by DISGRASIAN™, Asian Angel and jasminedavila, Mon. Mon said: Books,Book and Books A Literary Situation | DISGRASIAN™: In college, I would study in the Universit… http://bit.ly/dDvLHT mybookstop.info [...]

  2. Nicotone says:

    Ugh, this is so aggravating. All you have to be is some low-grade celebrity and you get published. Publishers shovel shit out to the masses meanwhile true talent is left unnoticed. Megan McCain is a published writer. The reviews aren’t great http://newledger.com/2010/09/review-meghan-mccains-dirty-sexy-politics/ but I’d like to be published; even to shitty reviews.

    I too get jealous when anyone I know gets published. If that anyone happens to be younger than me, I want to drown puppies and then go hang myself Michael Hutchence style. Seeing these fucks get book deals causes me to die on the inside.

  3. dalianmoon says:

    I have no idea who that guy is.
    Having said that, two words come to mind when I see that book cover. Peen fail.

  4. msmargie says:

    Dear God! Flipping to that photo was like those email pranks that have you look at a picture until a screaming hag pops up at you. Made me want to throw up a little.

  5. BusyDad says:

    What? I didn’t read this post. I’m busy doing sit ups.

  6. noneinaye says:

    I don’t really think traditional book publishing is inherently better than blogging. I kind of think blogs are like memoirs or autobiographies in progress that are really accessible to everyone.

    Also, I think it just takes a different type of writer to be a good blogger. For example: good Scifi writers(ursala leguin, Frank Herbert) wouldn’t be a good bloggers. But if Deen Koontz ever started a one it would be unintentional comedic gold.

  7. Apryl says:

    OMG! This show is now on the air here in Japan…title changed to “Macaroni Rascals!” I fear the day when girls/boys here start using it for fashion tips and relationship advice. Or even worse, think ALL Americans are like this.

    Truth to tell, I didn’t realize The Situation could write?! Or read for that matter…

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