‘The Last Airbender’ May Be The Worst Movie Of All Time Which Means There May Be Such A Thing As Karma
Did I invoke “karma” in the title of this post because M. Night Shyamalan, director of The Last Airbender, is Indian? Sure. But given how, in the 24 hours since the movie’s opened, it’s already being heralded as quite possibly The Worst Movie Ever, he may not be for long, as soon people will be forming long lines not to see his latest cinematic debacle but, instead, to take away his Indian card, his Asian card, his DGA card, his WGA card, his AmEx card, and– why stop there?–even his SUBWAY® card, if he’s into that sort of thing, and something tells me that if white bread’s involved, he is.
Having already pissed off his brethren by casting white actors in the movie’s lead Asian roles, not getting why that was such a big deal, and hiding behind terms like “culturally diverse” and “multicultural” without understanding how his casting decisions actually ran contrary to those principles, Shyamalan’s now managed to get himself disowned by pretty much the rest of universe. Here are a few excerpts from the public drubbing The Last Airbender‘s received so far:
“The dearth of racially appropriate casting in the U.S. simply means that fewer Asians were humiliated by appearing in what is surely the worst botch of a fantasy epic since Ralph Bakshi’s animated desecration of The Lord of the Rings back in 1978. The actors who didn’t get to be in The Last Airbender are like the passengers who arrived too late to catch the final flight of the Hindenburg.”–Richard Corliss, TIME, ‘The Last Airbender: Worst Movie Epic Ever?’
“…the best way to watch ‘The Last Airbender’ is probably with your eyes closed.”–A.O. Scott, NY Times, ‘Mastering the Elements’
“‘The Last Airbender’ is an agonizing experience in every category I can think of and others still waiting to be invented. The laws of chance suggest that something should have gone right. Not here. It puts a nail in the coffin of low-rent 3D, but it will need a lot more coffins than that.”–Roger Ebert, ‘The Last Airbender’
“Eleven years ago, Shyamalan’s ‘The Sixth Sense’ looked like the beginning of a brilliant career. Today it looks like a fantastic anomaly, like a flowerbed in an arid wasteland or some eighth wonder of the world.”–Mick LaSalle, SF Chronicle, ‘Airbender gulping for breath’
“M. Night Shyamalan peers over the edge and into the abyss with The Last Airbender. Yes, that’s water ahead of him, water all around him. And it’s swirling. This colossal folly, the fiasco of the summer of 2010 — gives us all a ringside seat at the sight of Mr. ‘I See Dead People’s’ career gurgling down the drain.”–Roger Moore, Movie Review: ‘The Last Airbender’
DA. YUM. Even if Asians weren’t thinking about kicking Manoj out of the tribe before this epic pile of shit arrived in theaters, we are now. Because, as everybody knows, failure, and particularly failure of this sort–absolute, abject, complete, total, and utter–simply can’t be tolerated by people like us.
Filed under: Avatar: The Last Airbender, Bringing Shame to Your Family, Cultural Diversity, Desis, Disownment, Dubious Distinctions, FAIL, Failure, Indian-Americans, Last Airbender Worst Movie Ever, M. Night Shyamalan, Multiculturalism Can Be More Than Lip Service, Public Drubbings, The Last Airbender, The Racial Draft, Whitewashing, Worsts, Yellowface
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