NASA Stands For ‘No Astronaut Sex Allowed’

June 29th, 2010 | 8 comments | Posted by Jen

I KNEW there was a good reason why I didn’t become an astronaut after boldly announcing that I would back in 7th grade, in an effort to impress my dad, who consulted for NASA.

(I mean, besides not being all that inclined towards math and science, not being a jock, and developing a fear of flying that dogged me through most of my twenties, which is to say, not possessing any of the qualities, really, of your typical astronaut.)

But I digress. Here’s the real reason:

This flies in the face, no pun intended, of science. They’re doing studies on the ISS of the effects of microgravity on blood pressure and the effects of spaceflight on sleep cycles, and they’re tending a VEGETABLE GARDEN up there so that those astronauts can have some fresh produce, but they’re too “professional” to figure out what sex in space is like??? (My guess: awesome. And if not awesome, at the very least, tricky, in an intriguing, mind-bendy–not to mention body-bendy–sorta way that’s definitely worth investigating.)

It’s no wonder Obama wants to cut back on this shit.

[HuffPo: Sex Banned Aboard International Space Station: NASA Commander]

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8 Responses to “NASA Stands For ‘No Astronaut Sex Allowed’”

  1. BlasianBytch says:

    well, babies born in space will have severe development problems…so sex in space would be bad but only for heterosexuals. There should be all the sapphic and gay sex allowed.

    well maybe not guys, we don’t need spermies gunking up something important.

  2. Jen says:

    That’s why we’ve got birth control!

  3. Cindy says:

    I think a zero gravity romp could be a worthwhile experiment…or incredibly frustrating.

  4. Jen says:

    @Cindy What great discoveries haven’t been incredibly frustrating???

  5. Cindy says:

    Well that hammock chair was fun right up until the hook pulled out of the ceiling. :P

  6. Wiggles says:

    How would you know if babies born in space have developmental problems?
    You can bet other nations w/their own space programs are or will be soon enough doing it in space. Our space program’s kinda square and just recently retired the Johnny Unitas buzz cut that was de rigueur for most NASA’s history. LOL

    Squares, man!

  7. johnminh says:

    Jen, since you’re not an astronaut, and I’m not an astronaut, the logical conclusion would be that there is nothing to keep us from having sex!

    “I put on my robe and wizard hat …” :p

  8. Jen says:

    @johnminh What a pickup line!

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