NASA Stands For ‘No Astronaut Sex Allowed’

June 29th, 2010 | 8 comments | Posted by Jen

I KNEW there was a good reason why I didn’t become an astronaut after boldly announcing that I would back in 7th grade, in an effort to impress my dad, who consulted for NASA.

(I mean, besides not being all that inclined towards math and science, not being a jock, and developing a fear of flying that dogged me through most of my twenties, which is to say, not possessing any of the qualities, really, of your typical astronaut.)

But I digress. Here’s the real reason:

This flies in the face, no pun intended, of science. They’re doing studies on the ISS of the effects of microgravity on blood pressure and the effects of spaceflight on sleep cycles, and they’re tending a VEGETABLE GARDEN up there so that those astronauts can have some fresh produce, but they’re too “professional” to figure out what sex in space is like??? (My guess: awesome. And if not awesome, at the very least, tricky, in an intriguing, mind-bendy–not to mention body-bendy–sorta way that’s definitely worth investigating.)

It’s no wonder Obama wants to cut back on this shit.

[HuffPo: Sex Banned Aboard International Space Station: NASA Commander]


Filed under: , , , , , , , , , ,

8 Responses to “NASA Stands For ‘No Astronaut Sex Allowed’”

  1. BlasianBytch says:

    well, babies born in space will have severe development problems…so sex in space would be bad but only for heterosexuals. There should be all the sapphic and gay sex allowed.

    well maybe not guys, we don’t need spermies gunking up something important.

  2. Jen says:

    That’s why we’ve got birth control!

  3. Cindy says:

    I think a zero gravity romp could be a worthwhile experiment…or incredibly frustrating.

  4. Jen says:

    @Cindy What great discoveries haven’t been incredibly frustrating???

  5. Cindy says:

    Well that hammock chair was fun right up until the hook pulled out of the ceiling. :P

  6. Wiggles says:

    How would you know if babies born in space have developmental problems?
    You can bet other nations w/their own space programs are or will be soon enough doing it in space. Our space program’s kinda square and just recently retired the Johnny Unitas buzz cut that was de rigueur for most NASA’s history. LOL

    Squares, man!

  7. johnminh says:

    Jen, since you’re not an astronaut, and I’m not an astronaut, the logical conclusion would be that there is nothing to keep us from having sex!

    “I put on my robe and wizard hat …” :p

  8. Jen says:

    @johnminh What a pickup line!

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.


Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 5: Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting

April 26th, 2013 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Not all martials arts movies look same.

The cast of HBO's 'Girls'

Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 4: Was The HBO ‘Girls’ Controversy About Racism Or Sexism?

April 25th, 2013 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen

Girl talk.


Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 3, aka Hump Day: What To Do When Your Friend Likes Racist Music

April 24th, 2013 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

Should you dump a friend who likes racist stuff?

office space

Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 2: Workplace Segregation + A Little History Lesson

April 23rd, 2013 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen

Don’t hate, integrate.

I was trying to give Andrew bunny ears, but I ended up throwing an Asian peace sign instead. Yo, I think that's racist.

Yo, Is This Racist? Podcast f/t DISGRASIAN Day 1: Natural Hair

April 22nd, 2013 | 1 comment | Posted by Jen

Wherein we take all of your racist questions. (Some of them, anyway.)

Photo by Lee-Jin Man/AP

Creepy Photo Of S. Korean Soldier Wielding Machine Gun In Front Of Laughing Children Kinda Sums Up Where We Are At This Juncture

April 18th, 2013 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen



If North Korea Attacks Us, I Have Just One Favor To Ask God

April 5th, 2013 | 0 comments | Posted by Jen

North Korea is so hot right now.

Screen Shot 2013-02-28 at 11.22.12 AM

Michelle Malkin Desperately Wants To Be Michelle Obama

February 28th, 2013 | 2 comments | Posted by Jen


Screen Shot 2012-12-05 at 2.52.57 PM

Penn State Sorority Girls Will Work For Weed & Beer

December 5th, 2012 | 6 comments | Posted by Jen

Viva racism!


Intern Jasmine’s Links Of The Daysian: The Ass Pants & Butt-Rubbing Edition

November 30th, 2012 | 1 comment | Posted by jasmine

We here at DISGRASIAN™ are going to use our buying power to buy as many Samsung butt-rubbed phones as we can.


Things I Thought I’d Never See: A Dude Rapping In Korean At The American Music Awards

November 19th, 2012 | 3 comments | Posted by Jen

Gangnam Time? Hammer Style?


RIP Twinkies, RIP Name Asians Like To Call Other Asians Who Are Less Asian Than They Are

November 16th, 2012 | 5 comments | Posted by Jen

How are we going to insult one another now?!