An Internal Conver$ation

June 2nd, 2010 | 3 comments | Posted by Diana

Ke$hia at the MTV VMAJ Awards in Tokyo, May 29

KE$HA: Domo arigato, Mr. Tokyo! I love you all!!!

KE$HA’S HEADDRESS: Horrible. Just horrible. Please, let’s just go inside.

KE$HA: They love me! They love the $tatement I’m making!

KE$HA’s HEADDRESS: And what statement is that?

KE$HA: That Lady GaGa isn’t the only knockoff that can make it big this year.

KE$HA’S HEADDRESS: That’s it?

KE$HA: And my generation really does have new and innovative art to offer!

KE$HA’S HEADDRESS: Like what?

KE$HA: Durrr. Like 80′s jeans and hippie dresses and disco indie rock.

KE$HA’S HEADDRESS: AH.

KE$HA: $ooooo… I think that I’m gonna $tart going by “$acagawea.”

KE$HA’S HEADDRESS: Oh, girl. I’m not so sure that’s a good idea.

KE$HA: What are you talking about?

KE$HA’S HEADDRESS: It’s kinda $tupid.

KE$HA: What are you talking about? I’ve $old like eleventy thou$and record$ as Ke$ha, and nobody think$ that’$ $tupid.

KE$HA HEADDRESS: Kids today are $tupid.

KE$HA: No they aren’t!

KE$HA’S HEADDRESS: How certain are you of that?

KE$HA: Really $ure! I went to an American Apparel the other night, and the $kinny $tore clerk $aid $he get$ ready for hip$ter partie$ by li$tening to “Tick Tock.” That girl wa$ COOL.

KE$HA’S HEADDRESS: Oh well, if the American Apparel girl said so…

KE$HA: And the guy I bummed an American $pirit off of–oh my gaw, American $pirit$ fully go with my look right now–at that William$burg loft party was like, la la la, we totally own the $ame top$ider$. We both have the $ame wayfarer$.

KE$HA’S HEADDRESS: Ah yes, further proof of your relevance. Consider me corrected.

KE$HA: Honey, all I know is I can $ing.

KE$HA’S HEADDRESS: Girlfriend, did you watch yourself on SNL?

KE$HA: I was amazing on $NL!

KE$HA’S HEADDRESS: You looked awkward and petrified, like somebody was going to rip your stomach out via your throat in front of the whole school auditorium.

KE$HA: I actually thrive in front of a school auditorium.

KE$HA’S HEADDRESS: Oh.

KE$HA: I can $ing. I can rap, and I can $ing.

KE$HA’S HEADDRESS: Nothing, and I mean nothing better than a white hipster rapping. But tell me, is awkwardly reciting lyrics in an acidic sing-songy tone actually $inging?

KE$HA: I can $ing.

KE$HA’S HEADDRESS: I don’t know.

KE$HA: I can $ing!!!

KE$HA’S HEADDRESS: I think you might actually $uck.

KE$HA: I–

KE$HA’S HEADDRESS: You $uck. You $uck, you $uck, you $uck. Please take me offa you A$AP.

[via Hair On The Brain]

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3 Responses to “An Internal Conver$ation”

  1. dalianmoon says:

    I have no idea who this woman is. But then, I don’t listen to the radio. I discover music in other ways. I have no idea what’s popular. I don’t know if that makes me a music snob, or just old.

  2. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Jasmïne Davïla, jasminedavila. jasminedavila said: RT @disgrasian An Internal Conver$ation http://dlvr.it/1NsH8 [...]

  3. mizzj says:

    hahaha omg I love you guys. How dare she try to imitate the Gaga?!? Whatever poor bird that went naked to make that head-dress is probably having an ulcer right now over the injustice.

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