EVA: Tell me again why I have to stand next to you?
ASH: Because we both work for L’Oreal, silly.
EVA: Could you at the very least have let me be the only one wearing the sparkly dress?
ASH: What, this old thing? I just threw it on at the last minute.
EVA: Uh…yeah, me too! Yup, just threw this on. Just like you. Don’t even know who designed it.
ASH: Didn’t I hear you tell that journalist over there it was Naeem Khan?
EVA: What, this old thing?
EVA: Well, at least my earrings are bigger.
EVA: And my arms are skinnier.
EVA: Ooh, that’s it! I’m skinnier than you. Way skinnier.
EVA: And, what else? My hair pouf! My hair pouf looks…well, it looks a lot like yours. Which is a good thing, I guess.
EVA: And, and…I’m wearing a giant cocktail ring…and you’re not!
EVA: And, and–
EVA: And, and…um…er…aw…HELL. Fuck it. You win. Again. God, I hate you.
See more Aishwarya Rai in Cannes photos at Just Jared.
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