DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Gloria Allred

April 2nd, 2010 | 4 comments | Posted by Diana

Famed, self-proclaimed “feminist lawyer” Gloria Allred has accomplished some bold and fascinating things during her long, high-profile career. She sued the Boy Scouts for excluding girls. She repped Nicole Brown Simpson’s family in the O.J. Simpson murder trial. In ’04, she filed the first lawsuit in California challenging the denial of marriage licenses as being unconstitutional.

But Allred also represents Tiger’s classiest mistress, Rachel Uchitel, and helped her nab $10 million to keep her trap shut about her sexy times with the year’s most famous philanderer. She took on client Josyln James, the porn star who’s been peddling her dirty wares alongside an online log of Tiger’s banausic sexts, and seeks an apology for James’s… time?

The attorney now stands alongside a new money-grubbing fame-seeking apology-seeking bandwagoneer: Woods’s kindergarten teacher, Maureen Decker. Decker feels wronged by a story that first appeared in Charles Barkley’s book The Wicked Game, which was published in 2005–and after five years realized that Tiger Woods was wrapped in a shit spiral and ladies everywhere could cash in if they played their cards right she couldn’t take the “migraines, elevated blood pressure, and colitis” for one more day, sought Allred’s inparticular counsel, and went public with her beef.

Does simply signing clients with vaginas make one a feminist? Because we kinda think that a truly pro-fem lawyer would have been the one working to secure Elin Nordegren’s future and due financial security. Instead, she’s taking a percentage of victories for women who feel they are owed something for spreading their legs and screwing somebody else’s husband. Ah, what a powerful message: “If I fuck you, you better take care of me.”

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4 Responses to “DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Gloria Allred”

  1. harald hardrada says:

    Diana, you make a telling point — gloria shows how american justice is bought & sold — it’s the glue binding wall street & washington as they conspire to steal the citizenry blind

  2. Simon says:

    A feminist lawyer has a different meaning, so she’s undeserving of that title.

  3. Linds says:

    I’m not so sure I agree. Being a “feminist lawyer” doesn’t mean that every single case you take has to be feminist.

  4. prometheus says:

    Haha:

    Ah, what a powerful message: “If I fuck you, you better take care of me.”

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