DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Cheaters (Jesse James, et al.)

March 19th, 2010 | 8 comments | Posted by Diana

Beloved Singaporean film director Jack Neo was dubbed “Singapore’s Tiger Woods” this week after his girlfriend of two years–a 22-year-old model/actress that had played bit parts in some of his films–confronted his wife and spilled her story to tabloids. The mistress, Wendy Chong, is just five years younger than Neo’s marriage of 27 years.

For whatever reason, Neo’s wife, Irene, has decided to stay with her husband. She joined him at a press conference and tearfully made a statement about her decision, begging for forgiveness, support, and the public’s blessing. Neo had already stated, “Please give us a second chance.”

As she exited the room, Irene Neo collapsed in sobs and had to be carried out.

Meanwhile, the American Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods, announced that he would be returning to professional golf to compete in the Masters. That’s big news, but not so big as the newly-posted sexts that his former porn star flame, Joslyn James (a woman who dances with the same sultry, poultry flourish as DISGRASIAN hall-of-shamer Bai Ling) has unveiled on an official promo website.

Awesome tat

James’ site reveals once again that Woods sexts like a 13-year-old gamer with blue balls (one that doesn’t know the difference between “to” and “too,” to boot), and that his wife Elin Nordegren has more than one porn star to not get over.  Perhaps that’s less sad than the fact that Nordegren kissing her husband outdoors now qualifies as news.

And then there’s Jesse James, who apparently cheated on America’s sweetheart, Sandra Bullock (a woman he probably never deserved in the first place, at least not on paper).

Wait, no, I’m sorry. Let me restate that: JESSE JAMES CHEATED ON SANDRA BULLOCK WITH A WOMAN NAMED MICHELLE “BOMBSHELL” McGEE. THAT LOOKS LIKE THIS:

Her major focus is family values.

Although James hasn’t admitted the affair outright, he issued a public apology stating, “This has caused my wife and kids pain and embarrassment beyond comprehension and I am extremely saddened to have brought this on them. I am truly very sorry for the grief I have caused them. I hope one day they can find it in their hearts to forgive me.” What he didn’t say is, “I’m a cheesedick that is completely threatened by the fact that my wife is more successful than me.” But maybe that’s still coming.

Bullock, who should be basking in the afterglow of her first Oscar win, became celeblog fodder overnight, moved out of her house and went into hiding. She cancelled her appearance at the London premiere of The Blind Side (say what you will about the movie, it’s the one that nabbed her that golden statue), forcing the organizers to call it off completely.

McGee, the mistress, is perhaps enjoying a much-desired 15 minutes of fairly lucrative fame. But in a moment where she should be collecting gift bags, building a podium for her little gold man, and making flowery appearances on Oprah, Sandra Bullock is now hiding out somewhere, pinned by the burden of a jilted wife’s shame. She cannot show her face outdoors without making a comment on this situation. She likely can’t even work again without acknowledging her next move.

Alright, you guys. A lot of you are thinking, “Lots of people cheat” or “If you marry a celebrity you shouldn’t expect fidelity” or “When you marry a professional athlete/director/politician/mogul/model/musician/actor/celebrity motorcycle customizer, you do so with an understanding that they will cheat on you.” And maybe you’re right. Maybe you’re right and maybe I’m naive to think that wedding vows should actually mean something whether you’re famous or not.

But I wonder if it’s written in the small print of these tacit agreements that when the adulterer decides to break the home apart, their spouse (and offspring) will still have to get on the floor and pick up the pieces. Or that for one person’s shameful act, all parties are shamed. Or that when the shit hits the fan, nobody can avoid the stink.

Man, I sure hope all that cheating sex was good. It sure as hell better have been worth it.

[Twirlit: Jesse James Apologizes To Sandra Bullock For Michelle McGee]

Source Source

Thanks, Maris!

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8 Responses to “DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Cheaters (Jesse James, et al.)”

  1. dalianmoon says:

    I know this sounds shallow, but years, ago, when I first saw Jesse James, I thought “she is WAY out of his league!” Seriously. A guy who looks like that was lucky to have been given a chance by Sandra Bullock. His is the kind of look that makes me twitch. Typical douchebag white boy look.

  2. johnminh says:

    I cheat on my right hand every time I kiss a girl. Needless to say, I’ve been faithful for a very long time …

  3. [...] DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Cheaters (Jesse James, et al.) | DISGRASIAN™ [...]

  4. clawd says:

    Do you think it has anything to do with the whole pressure that comes with being “married?” I mean, it’s supposed to be a pretty HEAVY commitment when you MARRY someone and goodness knows that cheating doesn’t just happen amongst celebrities. So, perhaps it’s the notion of marriage-being “tied down” to one person for the rest of your life-that makes the temptation of adultery that much more irresistible…?

    Not that I think marriage is a bad idea, I think it’s great for some people….but for many out there who are generally afraid of making a lifelong commitment…it’s probably not the best choice…?

    It’s becoming increasingly harder to remain optimistic these days, eh?

  5. Jen says:

    Clawd, why do you put married in quotes?

  6. prometheus says:

    That sucks; I imagine there’s a few million better men out there who’d go pretty far to even have a chance with Sandra. Even at her current age. :p

  7. clawd says:

    haha, yeah I just realized how that sounds strange. I actually don’t know why I did that. haha, I think it was my (failed) attempt at being emote or putting emphasis on the sometimes scary notion of being married. Oi, sorry about that!

  8. MacLu says:

    I’m sorry, but if Sandy didn’t see this coming a mile away like a chrome motorcycle, she’s not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree.

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