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Sick of “Single Ladies” videos? Or were you already sick of them a year ago like me? Well, there’s one last “Single Ladies” tribute you have to watch. Just because this is probably the only one you’ll see where somebody gets their soul crushed as they Put a Ring on It.
Oh, the parental shutdown! Oh, the killing of dreams!
[via Hyphen magazine]
Filed under: Beyonce, Beyonce Knowles, Dream Killers, Hardass Parenting, Hardass Parents of All Colors, Rock of Asian, Shutdowns, Single Ladies, Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It), Single Ladies Videos, Soul Crushing
The man who jumped from the Empire State Building’s 86th floor observation deck Tuesday has been identified as 21 year-old, Austin, TX native Cameron Dabaghi, a junior at Yale majoring in East Asian Studies.
A 10 foot-high spiked fence encircles that observation deck. The AP reports that there were 7 other people on the 86th floor terrace at the time, and one person tried to talk Dabaghi out of it as he climbed over the fence.
Apparently he left a suicide note in his dorm room saying he was sorry, and that he would either be jumping from the George Washington Bridge or the Empire State Building.
The fact that Dabaghi left a note, traveled from New Haven to New York, and picked the tallest building in the city that isn’t the easiest place to jump from–only about 30 suicides have occurred from the Empire State Building since its opening in 1931–suggests to me that he had given a lot of thought to his final act. I’m assuming he took the Metro-North train into New York–the easiest way to get from Yale to the city–which gave him two-plus hours to contemplate what he was about to do. Did he think about turning back? Sometimes when there’s time between the suicidal impulse and the act itself, that’s enough to save a person’s life. In this case, it wasn’t.
[HuffPo: Cameron Dabaghi ID'd As Empire State Building Jumper: Yale Student Commits Suicide From Empire State Building Observation Deck]
[Houston Chronicle: Yale student plunged from Empire State Building]
[NY Times Magazine: The Urge to End It All]
Tiger Woods returns to golf next week at the Masters golf tournament in Augusta, GA, which is all a lot of people–myself included–have wanted since news of his multiple extramarital affairs surfaced. Golf may be boring, but nothing’s more boring than seeing Tiger’s “Hey Sexy, What Are You Wearing?” text messages dominate the headlines and knowing the dull minutiae of his life. I mean, porn mistresses and turkey club sandwiches? Could you be more pedestrian?!
There’s only one problem with Tiger’s return, and that’s how the media’s predicting things will go. Not with his golf swing, mind you, but with his
soon-to-be-ex wife, Elin.
Filed under: Blasians, Cheaters, Elin Nordegren, Golf, Stand by Your Man, Tammy Wynette, The Masters Golf Tournament, This is Bullshit, Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods Affair, Tiger Woods Affairs, Tiger Woods Marriage, Tiger Woods Returns, Tiger Woods Sex Scandals, Who Knew Golf Could Get You Laid?
Filed under: Attention Whores, Bending Over, Certifiable Peeps, Crazians, Indoor Clothing, Lingerie, NSFW, Paltry Attemps To Be Noticed, Reba McIntyre, Sad, Supermarket, Thongs, Tila Tequila Crazy, Tila Tequila Is Batshit, Weird Celebrity Behavior, Yes We're Part Of The Problem
Because that naggy bitch can’t dance!
Oh goodness, I’m JOKING. Of course nobody deserves to get cheated on by their
bloat-faced, aging, douchey, deadbeat, stubby-dicked, famewhore husband whose Ed Hardy/cheap chick midlife crisis has shamed us all spouse.
But seriously, bitch can’t dance. And after watching that segment, it appears to me that she actually sucks more at learning.
I know what you might be about to say: “But Diana, have a little compassion! Do you understand what kind of pressure she must be under? Have you ever tried to learn a dance in a week with absolutely no idea what you’re doing and some crazy militant teacher losing their shit? It’s difficult!”
Of fucking course I’ve had to do that. I am from a Hardass Asian Family. Come on.
When I was in fifth grade, my cousin Jennifer–who had just enrolled at my school–convinced me to enter the talent show with her. We auditioned with a fairly simple step-touch routine set to Debbie Gibson’s “Only In My Dreams,” which I choreographed myself (I even included a partner lift and an “improv your own solo by feeling the beat” section at the bridge, for more zazzle). Excited as hell to finally make our mark on the elementary student body, we practiced daily for hours.
A week before the big night, Jennifer pulled out. Stage fright. I was faced with the decision to pull out or do the routine alone (How do you do a lift alone, I ask you?). Frankly, the simple routine was boring without the zazzle, and I was too angry to choose either option. This was our chance to make our mark, dammit!
“I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man [very odd wording, no?--Ed.]. I am very blessed to be who I am…these years in silence and reflection made me stronger and reminded me that acceptance has to come from within and that this kind of truth gives me the power to conquer emotions I didn’t even know existed.”
I can’t help thinking that if this had happened sooner, the world wouldn’t have had to endure this:
I pretty much love all things Swedish. Swedish fashion (ACNE, Swedish Hasbeens, H&M), Swedish music (Lykke Li, Jens Lekman, Jose Gonzalez, Love Is All), Swedish meatballs, IKEA, Bjorn Borg and his awesome headband, Let the Right One In–the best vampire movie in the current wave of bloodsucker films–and, speaking of vampires, that hot piece from True Blood (and David Simon’s Generation Kill), Alexander Skarsgard. I attribute this minor obsession to the fact that ABBA was probably the first pop music I ever heard, and it was the only pop–other than the Carpenters–that my dad really let infiltrate his otherwise classical and opera-heavy record collection.
Oh, and I love Swedish cars. The first and only car I’ve bought, after driving two Japanese hand-me-downs from my parents, is a Volvo. It’s a blue ten year-old wagon and it has yet to hit 100,000 miles because I hate driving, and I take it out about once a week like a granny. Most of its miles have come from long road trips. In LA, a ten year-old Volvo wagon is considered a shitmobile–some parking valets appear offended when they take my keys–but to me, it will always feel like a luxury car because it’s never broken down on me and it’s the only car I’ve ever owned with heated seats.
Apparently Chinese automaker Geely feels the same way I do about Swedish wheels Continue reading A Match Made In Scandinasian Heaven: Chinese Automaker Buys Volvo
Name: Mao Asada
Hails from: Japan
Occupation: Figure skater
Known for: Playing second-fiddle to Queen Yu-Na at this year’s Winter Olympics; looking woefully sad on the medal podium while collecting her silver; inspiring some crazy nationalism between Japan and Korea; being the first woman to land two triple-axels in the same program back in 2006; finally getting redemption a month after the Olympics at the World Championships by beating Yu-Na, who fell on a triple salchow during her free skate.
So the rivalry between Yu-Na and Mao? Yeah, it’s ON. Like Ali-Frazier, but with sequins and spangles and a shit-ton of makeup.
Meanwhile, you gotta love the headlines from some of the Korean news outlets, which aren’t reporting Mao’s triumph so much as Yu-Na’s failure. From the Korea Times: “Yu-Na Fails to Defend Title.” And from Chosun Ilbo: “Kim Yu-Na Loses World Title in Turin.”
Filed under: 2010 Figure Skating World Championships, 2010 Olympics, 2010 Winter Olympics, Amazians, Bitchfights, Figure Skating, Ice Queens, Ice Skating, Japan vs. Korea, Kim Yu-na, Mao Asada, Nationalism, Queen Yu-na, Rivalries
From Arowana Films, featuring Far East Movement, funnyman Randall Park, Phil and Wes from Wong Fu Productions, and others:
Fact: Asians love money.
We love making money, we love spending money, we love getting discounts so we don’t end up wasting money, we even love gambling away our money (and then, through a combination of math skills and grim determination, winning it all back, because we also hate losing, like, anything).
So you know what’s totally fucked? The government gives away $400 billion dollars annually to provide essential services like healthcare, education, and public transportation based on the information it receives from the U.S. Census, which is conducted once every 10 years, and Asian Americans are among the groups LEAST LIKELY to fill out their census forms.
Dude. Turning your back on free money isn’t Asian, it’s textbook DISGRASIAN.
It’s only 10 questions people. Deadline is April 1.
For more information about the Census and why filling out your form matters, check out Fill in Our Future.
This week, Katherine Heigl revealed to Entertainment Weekly that she’s leaving Grey’s Anatomy with 18 months left on her contract in order to spend more time with her family, husband Josh Kelley and recently-adopted daughter from Korea, Naleigh.
Do you believe her?
I don’t buy it. Here’s why:
Filed under: Adoptees, Adoption, Asian Babies, Family, Grey's Anatomy, Hollywood Adoptions, Josh Kelley, Katherine Heigl, Katherine Heigl Adopted Baby, Katherine Heigl Daughter, Korean Adoptees, Naleigh Kelley, Our Progeny Are Just Cuter--Deal With It
“If I were [Tiger's wife] Elin [Nordegren], man, I would have hit a lot more than she did,” Bullock said. “I would have kept hitting.”
A reporter with syndicated TV show “The Insider” egged on the actress with a leading question — “You would have been still swinging the golf club?”
“Yeah, she [Elin] stopped, she was respectable,” Bullock repied. “I’d get the baseball bat, I’d get everything out.”
Does this mean Sandy’s going to beat the shit out of her no-good, MySpace-ing, Vanilla Gorilla couchfucker? We wouldn’t pay money to see the The Blind Side–or almost any Sandra Bullock movie, really–but we’d sure as hell pay to see that.
Filed under: Ass Beatings, Cheaters, Cheating, Elin Nordegren, Jesse James, Jesse James Affairs, Jesse James Cheats On Sandra Bullock, Jesse James Mistresses, Michelle "Bombshell" McGee, MySpace, Opening a Can of Whoop Ass, Sandra Bullock, Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods Affairs, Tiger Woods Sex Scandals