January 8th, 2010 | 3 comments | Posted by Diana

If you are one of the people that thought last year was UH-MAZING, and was sad to see it go as the clock ticked down to midnight on December 31, you are a very special human being. You should also go kick yourself in the shins–2009 was a stinker for most of us, and your joy just makes people mad.

Okay, look. At least this happened:

Goodbye to the Aughts, or "Era of Shame"

But so did this:

And this:

Add "Book Author" to Sarah Palin's C.V.

What else? You or a friend probably lost your job/house, Arnold Schwarzenegger paid my tax return with an IOU, Conan moved to the Tonight Show and suddenly became unfunny, Tiger Woods’s gross sex secret became the biggest sports story of the year (officially, as Jen says, sounding the death knell for sports actually being about sports instead of gossip), Glenn Beck tragically did not die in a car accident, bored celebrities hijacked Twitter in yet another effort to create useless headlines, gay rights got the shaft over and over again, and your favorite actress, writer, musician, filmmaker or politician died.

Just in case you need additional reminders, we’ve chosen a memorable 10 DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! posts from 2009. There’s only one way to go from here: up. Anything that will happen in ’10 has got to be better than this:

10. DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! The Binghamton Gunman

9. DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Kari Ferrell, aka “The Hipster Grifter”


7. DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Asian-American Women Most Likely to Attempt Suicide

6. DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Don’t Ask Don’t Tell

5. DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! People Who Suck at Math (Ahem, Iran Election Riggers)


3. DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! National Defence Commission of North Korea


1. DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Miley “Chink-Eye” Cyrus

Let us not speak of those 12 shitty months ever again.

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3 Responses to “DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! 2009”

  1. dalianmoon says:

    2009 was a miserable year. Good riddance, I say.

  2. Tristan says:

    I need to repent, because I discovered Miley Cyrus’ single just a few days ago, and my collection of remixes is growing faster than the ‘Jersey Shore’ audience.

    2009 was a shit-show, but a guy’s gotta dance, right?

  3. The Wrath of Hello Kitty says:

    I agree it was a shit year, but for lots of different (and some same) reasons that listed in your post. This just goes to show that many people of all walks of life are happy 2009 is now put to bed. I could say the same for most of the decade but that would just be morose.

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