If you are one of the people that thought last year was UH-MAZING, and was sad to see it go as the clock ticked down to midnight on December 31, you are a very special human being. You should also go kick yourself in the shins–2009 was a stinker for most of us, and your joy just makes people mad.
Okay, look. At least this happened:
But so did this:
What else? You or a friend probably lost your job/house, Arnold Schwarzenegger paid my tax return with an IOU, Conan moved to the Tonight Show and suddenly became unfunny, Tiger Woods’s gross sex secret became the biggest sports story of the year (officially, as Jen says, sounding the death knell for sports actually being about sports instead of gossip), Glenn Beck tragically did not die in a car accident, bored celebrities hijacked Twitter in yet another effort to create useless headlines, gay rights got the shaft over and over again, and your favorite actress, writer, musician, filmmaker or politician died.
Just in case you need additional reminders, we’ve chosen a memorable 10 DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! posts from 2009. There’s only one way to go from here: up. Anything that will happen in ’10 has got to be better than this:
1. DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Miley “Chink-Eye” Cyrus
Let us not speak of those 12 shitty months ever again.
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